=]

I just got finished watching Fantastic Four. It was a funny movie. HEHE. It actually has more comedic touch to it than action. OH! and let's not forget Julian McMahon and Chris Evans. TWO of the hottest guys that live in this planet.

So yesterday was the official start of my Christmas break. Slept till 1 pm. Got up at 3 pm. Vacuumed. Took my mom to work. Finally got something(s) for my aunt, who I got on our Christmas "bunutan" thing, thanks to my mom. Rented Fantastic Four. Went home and wrapped the something(s) up. Then, off I went again to pick up my mom.

What a day.

Tomorrow I shall go back to work. I'm working at Macy's right now as a seasonal helper. I'm part of the merchandise support team. It's a hard job for me considering I have to be on my feet for 7 hours. And being on my feet for that long drives my back and my legs nuts. Oh well. I'm just fulfilling one of my wants on my Christmas wishlist. HEHE. Plus it's something to do during the break. I really don't want to live like a bum for 2 weeks. I'll go nuts figuring out what to do BESIDES tinkering with my computer.

Anywho, I've been working on a meditating spell right now. One that can ward off "false" feelings. So, whenever you tend to feel "false" feelings, just tell yourself that the person you're having "false" feelings for is GAY. Tell yourself that a million times and THAT problem will surely go away. I SWEAR to YOU. It's that simple.. hehehehe..

My father will be arriving on Wednesday. My aunt and I will pick him up. DAMN. 3 parents in one house. GRRR. It's gonna be hard for me to stay out late now. HRMM. Minsan ko lang naman ginagawa e.. K lang. HEHEHE..

OK. I shall leave you with a picture thing of me and Curly. Did this during the week of Thanksgiving.

=( -- PART 2

It's so sad that one can't seem to conceal or guard his/her heart from the external elements that could hurt it.

False feelings. Presumptious feelings. "Crawly" feelings.

These elements are what I am talking about.

It's just so sad how we can fall for them and then suddenly one day it hits you that they're not true or that they're merely an act of pretentiousness done by your heart to you.

Why is it so hard to guard your heart from these elements? Because we seem to have the need to feel these feelings? Because we need to feel them in order to feel good about ourselves? Because we need them to assure ourselves that THAT person might actually like us?

Baket pa naimbento ang mga ganong klaseng feelings? I know that I've talked about this in this blog a million times now, but I guess ngayon lang ako napuruhan ng todohan tungkol sa ganyan.

During work today, I asked God if He could guard my heart against these elements. While I was asking him, I felt so sad because the only time that I go and talk to him is when I have problems.

I HATE THOSE FEELINGS! SALOT SILA SA BUHAY NG MGA TAO!


I just feel sad and bad right now. I need a place to vent out.

BAH HUMBUG!

CHRISTMAS!! COME NOW!! PLEASE!!! I beg.. because I'm slowly becoming a scrooge... just take a look at this:


words by: Natalie Imbruglia

=(

For five days, I've been trying so hard to focus my attention to Biochemistry.

There are a lot of things to study. A lot of memorization and understanding. There's a lot.

I'm having a hard time focusing. I don't know which topic I should target first.

I'm trying my best to be positive. I really don't want to think negative in times like this.

God please help me.

There IS beauty in BREAKING DOWN.

No matter how much you hold it in, it'll always find a way to come out of you.

What If..

Curly suddenly runs away from our house. Of course we would be hysterical and everything. We think of ways of how to get him back --- Flyers, police, talk to people.. the whole nine yards. We do them, of course.

Then one day, as I'm typing my philosophy essay in our living room, I see a guy, through the close blinds, coming up to our front door holding Curly through a leash. I jump up, run to the door and open it. I giddily pet Curly. I stand up, look at this guy's face to thank him. Then, I see how cute this guy was.

Man... if only that can happen.... I swear, right now I'm thinking of getting Curly lost in order for some cute guy to rescue him and give him back to us.

Of course, this is just me dreaming.

hayy.. if only.

i am afraid, afraid of the truth.

here's a comment i received in myspace from a friend:

[...] but yeah..lam mo ganyan tlga buhay...di natin maiiwasan and pagbabgo..sa tingin ko wlang buhay kung walang pagbabago..ksi sa pagbabago..marami tayong natutuklasan...natututunan...maaring maging hindi maganda ang mga kalalabasan ng mga pagbabagong ito..pero sa bandang huli ang mga di magagandang pangyayaring ito ang magiging sandigan natin para mas mapaunlad natin ang mga sarili natin...maaring meron tayong mga masaktan..at maaring meron din tayong mga taong mapasaya...pero sa kabila nga lahat...ang mundo at ang buhay ay punong puno ng mga pagbabago....minsan din akala natin batid na natin ang lahat....katulad ng pagkakakilala natin sa isang tao....di natin napapnsin na ang mga taong ito ay tlgang hindi natin kilala pero naiisip natin na kilala na natin sila...pero and totoo..kilala natin sila sa paraan na gusto natin silang makilala...nakakagulat di ba....nakakainis....basta isipin mo na lang na habang bilog ang mundo....patuloy pa ring iikot ito...di man natin mapagtanto ang mga pagbabago...atlis mahalin mo na lang ang sarili mo...!!!!

she just could not resist lecturing me in the public's eye. but i can't blame her, lahat ng sinabi nya totoo.

totoo ang kasabihan na ito: pisceans are good advisers, but they're BAD advice takers.

Thanks for everything. Have a Good Life.

i don't understand why we can't just tell the whole truth about who we really are, like it is as if we sugarcoat our "real" self to people because we are afraid of bad judgments and bad impressions that they will have on us.

i guess we can't really tell the whole truth about ourselves if we are trying to get to know who we are or if we don't really know who we really are. but in making friends or at least if we want to make friends, don't we owe it to the person that we want to be friends with to at least know some (honest) part of us that WE know of?

i don't like hypocrisy.

i don't really care for people who hide their true self from people that they call "friends".

i trashed something again, but it's ok, it wasn't really worth keeping it anyway because it wasn't really the "real" thing.

life has many ways of biting our asses. it is unfair and yes, we have to deal with that till the day that we die.

But even if it's unfair, I'm still thankful for it. I'm still thankful that I'm live in a world created by the one good Being that makes life fair in the end.

And on the thankful note....

I am thankful to God for always being there for me even if I don't acknowledge His presence that much

I am thankful for my family, especially for my mom, for being the kind of person she is and for being sacrificial to every whim and desire of her kids.

I am thankful for my friends, the true ones, the ones that truly cared, the ones that made me laugh, the ones that gave me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it, the ones that made me feel that I'm gonna be alright, the ones that stuck with me through the bad times, the ones that i don't really talk to that much but i know that they're still there, and finally the ones that accepted me for who i am.

I am thankful for Curly, because he keeps me company when i'm going through bored times.

I am thankful for my computer, without it, I would be on the road to self-destruction because of the things that I would see on TV.

I am thankful for my clothes, without them I would be naked.

I am thankful for a warm bed, without it, I would be freezing my ass off.

I am thankful for my fondness of photography and music.

Finally, I'm thankful that I'm breathing right now.

This sh*t is BANANAS --- B-A-N-A-N-A-S

(1) Key Arena concert crowd. (2) Opening. (3) Gwen's opening with Harajuku Girls. (4) Gwen in her stripey outfit. (5) Gwen in her polky dotty outfit. (6) Gwen singing "Cool".

Gwen Stefani said F.U. during her concert last Monday at the Key Arena Center.
..... And to think there were a bunch of little kids who were watching her perform.

I took a lot of pictures, they're not really clear because we were really far from the stage. I also recorded videos of some parts of her show. Check out my Multiply to view them.

My sister bought me a concert shirt worth $40. Goodness. To think I could buy a pair of shoes with that price. Hmmm.. The things that we do for Gwenie. LOL.

---**---

My Flickr site is updated.


** all links open in a new window

The New One

OK, so maybe I could stop being a subtle a** towards my brother and start treating him the way I treat my two sisters. But then again, I might just be feeling this way because of this kid right here:


Meet my newborn nephew everybody, Juan Miguel Paulo, a.k.a., Miggy.

Love the name. So cute.

For once, me nagustuhan akong decision na ginawa ng kapatid ko.

My Dream Photo Assignments

(1) Band Profile

*band picture
*band performing

(2) Candid Profile Shot

*of anyone

(3) Basketball Game

*more action pictures

(4) More Architecture shots

(5) More photojournalistic shots

*for practice means.

---

I miss taking pictures. Man, digital SLR. If only. hmmm..

I'll update my Flickr site this week. I have lotsa pictures to put in it, mostly stuff I took during my newspaper shoots.

---

TOTALLY UNRELATED:

The Side A Album entitled "Acoustic Love Songs" is the perfect CD for those who are soothing a broken heart or those who are going through a break up. The best CD! I listened to it while I was going through mine.

a Meme and a Song and a Disheartened being

Copy and paste the questions to your site and answer them, then pick five people whom you wish to be singled out. Don't forget to tell them they have been singled out.

You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
- My wish right now is to be right about wanting to finish college with a degree in Biochemistry.

What animal would you be?
- a dog (they seem to have the good life.. eat-sleep-play-eat-sleep-play)

Something you want to do in your life:
- travel Europe

One time there were these Ninjas...(finish the statement.)
- that were talking about their fighting styles.

One song you could listen to over and over again
- hmmm... good question.. I actually don't know.. hehehe

Coke or Pepsi
- Coke

Something you currently desire:
- an outfit to wear on Christmas Eve (can I get any more shallow than this?)

What's a "mastoid"? (Take a guess no peeking in a Dictionary.)
- i dunno.

One good deed you've done lately:
- I chose to hang out with my family rather than go to a friend's party (not that I can go or anything)

A funny moment in your life:
- last night was one.. hahahahaha.. A funny and scary moment.. won't go into any further details..

-------

I love love this song. It kind of describes what I want to do with my life right now.

Fly Away
by: Nelly

Free City
This is a shout out to every young brother
Doing his bid right now
Keep your head up
he's walking the yard wishing he has wings
Ya know fly right out of that joint
Yeah, man

(Chorus:)
If I could fly away
Ew, I wouldn't come back no more
I'd turn around just to see you for the last time
See know I know, hey that won't be easy
I fought through every battle, I'd made it this far
I got a few more feet, but it's still the longest yard

Man it's the longest yard I ever had to get in my life
See my life ain't right and my right don't wright
My niggas can't eat if the fish don't bite
My razor grows hairs like Mike at night
My big brother all mighty, I keep my ray I'm a G five G
I take a G five deep to my G is deep
On Murphy and the G don't speak
Listen man we don't get down round hurr
The body bag, you found and gagged right hurr
It's as serious as the sound right hurr
The guards guard the ground, four pounds right hurr
They ain't playin, they just lettin ya know
That anything that will happen will happen real slow
That the word from upstairs till you in that hole
I can't take it, I'm just ready to go

(Chorus:)
If I could fly away
Ew, I wouldn't come back no more
I'd turn around just to see you for the last time
See know I know, hey that won't be easy
I fought through every battle, I'd made it this far
I got a few more feet, but it's still the longest yard

Yeah, yeah it's still the longest yard
Uh, uh, It's still the longest yard
Uh, uh, it's still the longest yard
I fought through every battle I'd made it this far (this far)

I'm in my cell 20 hours a day
I'm doin push ups every hour a day
Cuz I'm tryin to keep the cowards away
That's why I'm markin off the calendar days
Tryin ta get it out of the way
And I'm just tryin ta keep a piece of mind
And I'll strike a muh Fucka with a piece of mine
Cus he tryin to take a piece of mine
So Ima slice his a ass one piece of the time
But not that they closed the door, lock me in
In a cell thirty deep, but it's built for ten
What kind of world they got you in, with a barb wire fence that box you in
From now till they turn off the lights, I'm a read every thing in sight
It's kind tryin of hard to read at night
But Ima change my life and help anotha brotha take this fight

If I could fly away
Ew, I wouldn't come back no more
I'd turn around just to see you for the last time
See know I know, hey that won't be easy
I fought through every battle, I'd made it this far
I got a few more feet, but it's still the longest yard

Yeah, yeah it's still the longest yard
Uh, uh, It's still the longest yard
Uh, uh, it's still the longest yard
I fought through every battle I'd made it this far (this far)

Oh no, I gotta make it out this place some how
Oh no, Man I really believe that I could turn it around
Oh no, You see all I need is that second chance to show
Since the incarceration my obligation to rehabilitation
Oh no, they can punch behind, they can kick me low
Oh no, Spit on me, It's gonna take more than that for them to break my sould
I said oh no, man it's for people to understand how it's like to be
Jaded, incarcerated, most can't take it
And I can't wait to see better days

(Chorus:)
If I could fly away
Ew, I wouldn't come back no more
I'd turn around just to see you for the last time
See know I know, hey that won't be easy
I fought through every battle, I'd made it this far
I got a few more feet, but it's still the longest yard

Yeah, yeah it's still the longest yard
Uh, uh, It's still the longest yard
Uh, uh, it's still the longest yard
I fought through every battle I'd made it this far (this far)

If I could fly away
If I could, I'd turn around
If I could fly away
If I could, I'd turn around
If I could fly away

So maybe it's a song for men that are locked up. But if you analyze the words in a deeper sense, you could actually relate it to your life.

-----

Why did I let a small thing become a big thing?
Why did I have to lead myself down a dead end road?
Why do my head keep bring up stuff up? AND why does my heart keep eating those stuff out?

Maybe I'm masochistic. Maybe I'm just not sensing the bigger picture. Call me crazy but I think I have numbed myself from getting hurt. It's unhealthy I know. Men, my issues are killing my insides.

HAHA.

I have two midterms tomorrow and look at what I'm doing.

Besides blogging, I've been in and out of FRIENDSTER and MYSPACE.

crap.

BAAAHH!!!

----

got this idea from Peyton's Podcast:

Top Five Albums that I will bring on a deserted island:

1. No Doubt, The Singles - 1992-2003
2. Mix CD of my Top 18 Favorite Alternative Songs
3. Lifehouse Mix CD
4. Linkin Park Mix CD
5. Coldplay Mix CD

Why did I get hooked on Alternative/Independent music?

I was asking myself this question as I was walking from the bus stop to my house. I've been REALLY hooked on the genre since 2002? or 2001? I can't remember.

Anyway, I'm hooked because it's less irritating than the hiphop/rap, mainstream, and mush that I keep hearing over and over again on the radio.

I'm sleepppyyyy..

just because..

(1)

This week is another crazy academic week for me. I have 2 midterms going on on Friday and one paper that is due on Tuesday and to top all that I have Philo readings to read. Oh Joy!

I'm partially thankful that I didn't take any work study job because if I did my energy would just be shut down, as in way down.. probably beyond the "down" that I'm trying to say here.

I'm cramming on my paper right now. Yes, I blame myself for not prioritizing during this weekend. I had 3 days to do it and I chose today of the 3 days to do my first draft. Oh Joy. Well, to my defense, I got my outline down for it last Thursday. All I have to do now, and tomorrow, is form paragraphs and work on my diction. I just pray to God that He will provide wisdom to me despite my lack of responsibility.

(2)

I took some pictures yesterday of some late night restaurants that are near the U. I'm gonna post them on Flickr and maybe here once this week is over with.

(3)

I finally finished watching the Star Wars saga. Episode 6 is my favorite of all. Episode 1 takes second place. By the way, I WUV EWOKS! Because they're so cute and so furry and yeah.. I'm gonna shut up now.

(4)

Lastly, I was informed this weekend that Pisceans are born to love and train animals. INTERESTING.

despite the best efforts of preventing myself to breakdown..

Well, I still did, all because of one measly QUIZ.

"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life... as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed."
*Booker T. Washington*

Booker's right.

Family and friends are right.

So maybe I should stop belittling myself and start believing in the possible.

If I don't broadcast, I might flip inside out.

(1) I got a 55/125 on my first midterm in Biochemistry.

My professors sent out an email to me that reads, "we are concern about your performance in the first midterm for you have receive less than 50% of the total score and base on our previous experience, students who receive a grade less than 50% will most likely fail the entire course," obviously I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the gist of it.

(2) I got a 36/60 on my first Philosophy essay.

Writing Philosophy essays is hard. Just ask me, I'm currently experiencing it. I sorta made this rule for writing, think of it as one of the rules in Liane's world: if you can't write philosophically, then you can't write at all or you can't call yourself a writer at all.

I know that I'm not suppose to drawn myself in sorrow and self-pity and doubt. I mean they're only FIRSTS right?

Right now, I'm sorta preventing myself from breaking down. It is for me to say that because to me breaking down will not lead me anywhere but a black hole that contains sorrow, pity and doubt.

The email that was sent by my professors really put a dent on my heart. Somehow I felt like it was written in a condescending manner. But I know that the email was sent by good intentions, it did contain suggestions on how to do good on future exams.

I remember that I wrote something about wanting to have good grades in all my classes at the U. Somehow now I feel like I'm not gonna be able to fulfill that desire. But whatever.. who knows.. I told myself that I will make it up in my 2nd midterm and my 2nd paper.

I don't want to drown myself in doubt. I don't want to tell myself that I don't deserve to be in this school if I'm getting this kind of grades.

I've been told that Biochemistry was quite challenging. It was drilled in my brains a thousand times that writing philosophically is harder than writing a research paper.

I don't want to go through the drama of me not having ok grades in all my major classes. I do not want to go through doubting my choice of major again. I know that I've come so far and worked hard enough to get myself into this major and for me to just throw it all out because of some condescending email is just pure crappa.

As for my Philo class, well, it's interesting and confusing. I took the class because I wanted to learn something about Philosophy. Like I said before, in my previous posts, I did not have any single clue what Philosophy was really about before I entered that class. Now, I'm just full of "confused" questions and a somewhat "one-sided" mind.



sides: I just had to let all that out, you see I'd rather broadcast this to the whole world than to just talk to people. I'm kinda tired of talking. I'd rather write all the frustrations out.

friendly and familiar faces back home and a whole lot of random stuff.

i miss them sooooooooo...

damn you guys for being in sembreak!!! LOL... joke lang.. ihihi...

anyway, i miss them.

I've been trying to call one of them, but she's not answering her phone (well, it's either that, or her cellphone is trying to be primitive again). BAHHH!!

Sana binabasa nyo 'to 'no?? But knowing you guys well, you don't have much time and patience to read this.

anyway, despite the fact that you guys are not reading this. i'll still write messages....

Lin-Lin -- PARE!! yang cellphone mo itapon mo na!!! langya naman, ilang beses na kitang tinatawagan at ilang beses na rin akong niloloko nang cellphone mo na yan.. dude, when was the last time I talked to you???? I think it was your birthday.. tagal na rin men.. a month and a half..

Lenn -- as if i don't call you every other week.. sooo, i don't miss you that much.. hahahahaha.. joke.. miss kita sobra, kasi ang kulit mo!! hahahahaha.. dude, pare, kelangan natin ulit gawin yung inuman with gin?? remember that time when we're at nyo's place?? hahaha.. nung binilhan tayo nila Ron ng gin? tapos hindi natin naubos? tapos pinagalitan tau kasi di natin naubos?? hahahaha..

Joy -- hahahaha.. I saw you go online sa YM last night, but I went offline naman.. hehehe..

Heidi -- pagawa mo na yang house phone nyo!

Nat-- go on a break!! magpapetition ka sa school mo!! 1 month break from all the things they're putting you through.. i miss our bonding times on the phone.. kahit na alam ko na never kitang tinawagan kapag andito ko sa seattle........ and me miss our serious talks with some serious banterings about how dramatic each can get.. hahaha.. gets mo ba yun?? men, take a break!! and I promise I'll call you!! hahahaha..

Who else am i missing? dami!! hahahahaha.. yung isa siguro tatawagan ko sa araw na feel ko.. hahaha.. nakakatamad naman makipagusap sa tao kapag hindi mo alam kung anong ikukuento mo e....

Sayang, di ako makakauwi next year.. GRRR.. leche kasi e.. pero ok lang.. siguro Christmas next year uuwi ako!! WIIIHHH!!! I want too!! AYY!! that's an idea... ma-ipropose nga sa nanay ko.. HMMM... Salit kami ng tatay ko, ako sa Pilipins, tapos sya dito.. hahahaha.. mapagipunan nga.. para half bayaran ko, half bayaran nila.. hahahahaha.. kukuha na ko ng mas magandang trabaho next year.. para me pera for that!! o diba?? ang ganda ng plan ko??!!! excited na ko.. hahahaha.. Christmas with KIDS!! WIHHH!!! WAIIIITTT.... I just realized that Christmas is a peak season over there.. MEEENNN... haaa.. maybe I'll save a quarter of the ticket money.. who knows?? ipropose ko lang naman e.. hahahaha... basta... bala na si God.. Sana payag si momsy.. I will work hard sa studies, para pumayag.. hahahaha.. para incentive na lang yun.. wihhh!! Christmas next year in da Pilipins!!!

----

Hmmm.. I just realized that I posted something everyday this week (except for yesterday). HAHAHA.. I made up for the past week of no posting.. hahahaha..

----

By the way, regarding the last wish of the previous post, I really want to be that. Seriously. I mean, if I can do artsy shots, why can't I do photojournalistic shots?? Hmmm.. the past shots I made for the paper, wasn't all that. Napangitan ako, especially the last one.. I guess I could say that I'm practicing, so I shouldn't be so hard on myself.. hayy.. I have two weeks to collect assignments.. hahahahahaha.. Sana maraming ibigay.. hmmm... practice na 'to.. By the way, I should be able to stop being intimidated by the pro amateurs/pro in the staff.. la lang.. parang nakakababa lang kasi makiwork sa kanila, kasi ang gagaling ng mga shots nila.. haayy.. pero nakakatuwa kasi hindi sila yung tipong nagrerelease ng intimidating aura (I'm the only one that's actually feeling intimidated by them.. they're actually not releasing anything to me.. basta!! gets nyo na yun!! ehehhe.. ), kasi tinutulungan nila ako, tinuturuan nila ako.. tapos la lang.. parang they don't really put a lot of "pressure" on me since alam nila na bago ako.. basta ok sila!! hehehe.. sana hindi na ako mahiyang makisama sa kanila.. hehehe.. for those of you who know me well, I'm not really good at being social with people.. it's either they come up to me, or I don't talk to them at all.. hahaha.. yes.. I'm that much of a snob.. which is why I don't have a lot of friends.. hehehe..

By the way, my digital camera sucks at taking photoj pictures.. IT SUCKS!! Just look at the link of the last picture I took.. grrr... well.. actually... either the camera just sucks at taking photoj pictures or I didn't set the settings right. DAMN IT!! I need practice!!! I really wanna be good.. I wanna have a niche with photoj pictures too!! haayy.. pano kaya kung wala akong talent in taking photoj 'no?? grrr... oh well.. at least I will know that photoj is not my area of expertise.. makikita ko within this quarter.. I'm aiming for getting a picture in the front page of the paper.. hahahaha.. mangyari kaya?? HMMMM.. I shall wait and see..

----

A conversation I had with my sister two weeks ago (I think):

sister: so Liane, I have a question for you, what are you gonna do after you're done with college?

me: I HAVE NO IDEA. (I'm saying this to her with a big smile on my face.)

----

I just had coffee, hence the very long and random post.

Narealize ko nga lang pala this morning na maganda pala ang MORNINGS. hehehe.. 'la lang.. kasi while I was walking down the University Way, on the way to campus, na-feel ko lang na ang ganda ng MORNINGS.. hehehe.. 'la lang.. feel ko lang na at that moment while I was walking, I started to appreciate MORNINGS.. hehehe.. sayang sana dinala ko yung camera ko para napicturan ko yun.. HMP!!

Sige yun lang.. magrereview na ko para sa Philosophy.. I have a 4 pt quiz mamayang 11:30.. hahahaha.. oo nga pala, I don't like this philosopher because he's writings are confusing when I read them. His name is David Hume and according to my Philo TA, he's one of the most influential philosopher in the history of philosophy. I wonder what exactly made him influential when his writings are really hard to grasp. I guess people back in the days had more patience in understanding a Scottish man.

all i want for the holidays ....

So what if Christmas is 2 more months away? I'll post this list again when December arrives, but until then, force yourself to read it now. I got this from Marla.

STEP ONE

Make a post (public, friends-locked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your blog. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. the wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("i'd love a ______ icon that's just for me") to medium ("i wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("all I want for christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV."). the important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ or link to this post so that the holiday joy will spread.

STEP TWO

Surf around your friends list (or friends' friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use -- do it.

You need not spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf -- to spread the joy. gifts can be made anonymously or not -- it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

..... i wish for .....

1. for F-R-I-E-N-D-S .... to get together without any bullshit, hypocritical, and contradicting attitudes roaming around.

2. for myself .... to get over some sibling issues.

3. for myself .... to own a digital SLR camera.

4. for myself .... to have a quarter to study abroad.

5. for myself .... to own a wool trench coat and cheap but sturdy pointy kitten heels (or one inch heels) pumps

6. for myself .... to own the Howie Day CD

7. for that person .... to get what they want.

8. for myself .... to have a date with anyone who's down to eat anything and everything in one day.

9. for myself .... to own a Tiger OS.

10. for myself .... to be a damn good photojournalist by the end of this year.

Or so She says...

"Binigyan ka pa ng isang anak ng Diyos para me kasama ka pag wala na ang mga nauna mong anak"

-- what my grandmother told my mom when my mom was wondering why I was given to her.

Mothers can be and maybe always will be an annoyance to us. But we can't blame them for being that way. It is imbedded in every mothers in this world to be annoying.

Mothers are protective. You can't blame them for having that kind of attribute because they were assigned by God to protect us. Plus, she didn't spend 9 months of her life carrying you in her stomach and just waste that 9 months out by just letting you be in this big, bad world without any sense of defiance for yourself.

Mothers are good advisers, in fact, they're the best advisers in the world. We all know the saying "mom knows best", it's cliche, I know, but it holds true up until today.

Some people are not lucky enough to have met their mother because it was either their mom (a) died while giving birth to them, (b) they're mother left them at a young age, or (c) they're mother is abusive and just wasn't the type that would get to know her kid. Yet some people are lucky enough to have a mother that was there during the "firsts", the "lasts", the heartaches, the happiness, the sadness and so forth.

I'm lucky to have my mother with me today. And no matter how annoying and nagger-ish she gets, I'm still glad that I have her. Kung wala sya, baka siguro naging pariwara ako.

Love your moms. Love all their qualities. Kasi sila minamahal nila ang kanilang mga anak, inspite of the bad qualities that they see in their kids. Kaya dapat ganon rin tayo sa kanila.

"Good things come to those who wait patiently."

lahat na ginagawang maganda at nakakaantig sa puso, ginusto na.

lahat ng ginagawang panget pinalalampas pagkatapos ng ilang araw na pagdadamdam.

kahit na alam na walang kahulugan ang mga sinasabi, binibigyan pa rin ng kahulugan.

hanggang kelan ba magtatagal yun?

hanggang kelan ba magtitiis?

sabi ng iba, tanga raw ang magtiis sa wala.

sabi naman ng iba, pag nagtiis me mahihita sa huli.

ang hirap hindi isipin ang hindi dapat isipin.

ang hirap isipin ang dapat isipin.

ganda talga ng buhay.

----

Back from hell week, I am. I had to deal with 3 midterms and 1 paper. But it is officially over today. One hell week down, 2-3(?) more to go.

I don't have much to tell. So I bid you goodbye.

Up Mountains, Up Walls, Up High

He who climbs upon the highest mountains laughs at all tragedies, real or imaginary.
- Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra

Since my tuition is paying for the Intramural Activities Building, I should probably start going there and make some use out of it. The building has an indoor climbing center that is perfect for satisfying my interest of wanting to climb a wall again.

I've always been wanting to climb walls again ever since I tried it two years ago. I had a chance once when me and my friends were strolling around the Seattle Center arcade area where there is a single wall that entices people to satisfy their whims to be Spider Man. I didn't climb then because I didn't have the right footwear for it and it didn't really look safe to me. The first time I climbed it felt safe because (1) I had my sister, Lee, as my belay-er (the one that holds the strings attached to me while I climb) and (2) the place where I first climbed at had cushioned mats, the Seattle Center one didn't have either of those.

Now I have a perfect chance to climb again. I don't know when I'll do it. I would probably want someone to go with me there and be my belay-er. But yeah, I just want to climb walls again. It's fun and exciting and scary at the same time. It actually helps ease my fear of heights.

And as for the quote that I pasted above, I know that climbing walls is totally different from climbing mountains. But I'm sure it feels rather the same. I want to climb walls again because I want to laugh my way through problems again. If I climb and reach the top, I can sense that I will feel that I'm leaving my problems down the bottom where they belong.

"For any one to love a man, he must be hidden, for as soon as he shows his face, love is gone."
- The Brothers Karamozov, Fyodor Dostoevsky

I just experienced my first "out-of-borough" lifestyle, today. It's not bad actually, it feels rather good. It feels good to accomplish something without any distractions whatsoever. Not that I'm saying that my "borough" stuff, i.e. my friends, were a distraction (I MISS YOU GUYS, really seriously... UVILLAGE people!! Blue C Sushi!! Who's with me? :D But not now.. hehehe.. I know we're all busy), but it's nice to be able to prioritize again .... well, sort of. I think I'm on the road of accomplishing my goal of making my studies my ultimate #1 priority. I actually blew a photog assignment today because I was behind with my readings for Philo and Biochem. But the reason that I got behind was that I had to shoot an event yesterday, so all is well. I think I pretty much got that down. I hope.

@ 10/08

10/08

@ The weather cooperates with me today. It knows what I'm currently feeling. I'm in Starbucks right now, trying to burn my brain cells out and currently regretting not bringing my camera with me so I could shoot how great this day was for me.

@ Doctors are the third cause of premature deaths: As stated by a stranger to me while I was studying Philosophy.

@ My friend was right, I was not the disturbingly dramatic girl that I am now before. I don't know what caused me to change into this way. I'm taking another friend's advice, take a shot of C2H5OH and whatever it is that's making you dramatic will surely be way out of your head the next day.

@ My job may not give me much in the financial means of things, but it will surely make me happy to see my photo printed out every week in that paper.

@ Being f*cked up means being inspired to do some good work, whether it be in the arts or in sciences.

For the sake of updating you about my (fill in) life.

While I was walking in the Health Sciences Library at the U, I saw a doctor listening to an iPod while walking. Seeing that made me smile because it made me realize that going into medicine does not mean giving up your other niches (i.e., in my case, music and photography).

I am starting to feel the college stress again. I'm currently struggling with some of my Biochem class' concepts, which is sad because the concepts that I'm struggling with are concepts that I took up when I was in General Chem. People, I'm one of the living proofs that if you don't study a "step" in a sequence very well, you will most likely to not do good in the next "step".

Another stress is my Philosophy class. I never thought how annoying overanalyzing is until I started that class. Reading the textbook is a pain in the butt because most of the essays are 16 pages long and are written by major overanalyzers. And if you know me very well, you know that I don't like reading that much, especially forced reading. Anyway, I'll stop complaining, the professor makes up for the long readings during class anyway. She explains the readings in layman's term and she makes the class fun by being frank and to the point.

So far my life as a transfer is ok. I'm just not use to walking a lot. Yesterday, I attended FASA's meeting that was on the other side of the campus from where I am. Oh the joys of walking back and forth.

Ok, class time.

Iskul.

School is good. School is great.

1) I love love my classes.

- Economics - I now know what the word ECONOMY means. I always had the impression that the word economy pertains to financial stuff. Well, in this class, I learned that it's not. Fascinating. Me want to learn more.

- Intro to Philosophy - Ahhhh.. this is my writing class, the one that will fulfill the writing requirement of my major. If this is this, then that is that. But if this is that, then that is this.

- Biochemistry - The chemistry of biology will be revealed in this class. So far, I'm loving it. Although the pH talks and the buffer talks are kinda throwing me off a bit.

I just got the rest of my books last Friday. Thank GOD! I was starting to panic because I haven't done any reading for my Philosophy class (One of the university's gazillion libraries had my Econ book on reserve, so I had no problem with that.), and my section started to discuss what the Apology of Plato is and how was Philosophy described by our professor (who by the way is the one who wrote the textbook that we are using for that class.) last Friday. But all is well now because my books are here.

2) I got a "job" at the university's newspaper, The Daily. It's a photographer position.

3) I got lost X times in that campus. I swear. LOL. It's a pretty big campus. And I think this is one of the rare times that I wish that I know how to use a bike.

4) BYE for now.

:D

*I'm so excited.. oh I just can't hide it..

It is officially a fact that alcohol has been a stimulant rather than a deppressant for me. I hear people tell stories that after they drink two or three bottles of beer, they instantly falter to their beds once they get home. But me, I am wide awake and wonky and hyper. Last night, I was REAALLLLYY hyper because one, I had a lot of caffeine (eating chocolates before playing bowling) and then into the midnight, I had alcohol. O good GOSH. I feel so bad for the person who had to suffer last night with me. LOL. I remember that person saying that I'm fun to be with when I'm drunk, and yet at the same time it's embarassing (if you're reading this, correct me if I'm wrong, I have a mild case of forgetfulness in my hands as you well know).

Macie May: Just randomly placed it in here.

So now that I got all that facts out of my head. I'm going to move on and talk about more not-so shallow stuff. I've been putting off going to the U for a while now. I am suppose to go there to apply for a job that's conjuncted with my work study award. I was suppose to go today, but due to the brain malfunction that happened to me last night, I just couldn't force myself to get off from bed at 11 in the morning. So anyway, with hopes that the greater good will work it's magic on me tomorrow, I just might be able to get my butt on a bus and head for that school (well, I really have to go tomorrow because if I don't take care of that by the end of this week, my award will be cancelled)

On to the more interesting and yet exciting stuff --- I recently began to take interest in getting into medical school again. I haven't been really looking at any medical facts and figures for the past year or so because of the confusion that I'm feeling towards getting into it. Then, the curious bug hit me again a week ago and now once again, I'm thumbing through the medical websites that the net could offer. So, if you're a med or a premed student reading this blog right now, do you have any sites to recommend for me to sift through? I've already gone through the Princeton Review site and I also know the AAMC and the AMA website as well. What I'm trying to look for now are sites that discuss or rather tell stories or experiences of people that are trying to get into med school, the highs and lows of being a med student, and the crazy life of a resident. So please, give me some. I need a lot of perspective right now because frankly, time is ticking away so fast these days that I feel like I just need to make a decision about these kind of things right now. I'm gonna stop myself right now before I jump onto any medical school pep talk on whether or not I will go and apply to it in the future, I shall go on and talk about the present tense, since I feel that talking about the future will just lead me to become even more anxious about what I will do with my life.

Some bench

Anyway, I have 6 more days left till I'm officially back to school. I'm really excited because for one, I get to be busy again. YES!! No more bumming around the house, no more not being useless during the day. I'm finally going to be able to label myself as being insane in the sense that "I'm insane because of a good cause" and not because of "I'm insane because I'm not doing anything at all".

As of last Monday of this week, I'm in the process contemplating on whether or not I should have a life at the U. You see, I'm kinda setting a goal for myself, I want to at least 3.0s and above in all the classes that I will take in that school. I'm really not up for seeing any Cs and Ds in my record and I kinda have to get Bs and As or else it's bye bye degree for me. So for me to be able to attempt the possible, I have to have no life in that school. But thinking about it right now, it's easy to accomplish having no life in that school since it's a pretty big school and it's easy to just cramp up into one space and pretend to be interested in whatever you are reading than just walking around and getting lost in a big campus like that. It's a pretty big school, it's a city within the city and there's 20000+ students that go to that school and I'm pretty sure I will have a hard time finding friends that will be my "friends for life" kinda thing. Hmm.. am I shallow or am I shallow?

The intersection that leads to the ARTS buildings

On to my next dilemma, I talked about joining the Filipino American Student Association in that school and right now, I'm kind of thinking of not joining it because well, it's part of my having no life thing. But then again, if I do decide to join that group, I will have the chance to meet friends (if I don't get too snobby or suplada) and there's a big chance that these friends might be able to help me cope up living in a big city like U and another bigger chance that these friends might be my "friends for life".

In comes my MAJOR issues ---- One of my best friends asked me why I just don't major in English instead. She SAYS, that I'm a good writer, no idea how true that statement of hers is. Anyway, I told her that I've already put so much time and effort on finishing up the majors of Biochemistry and putting that into waste by shifting would be a stupid because seriously, who would want to put the knowledge that I've gained from Org Chem to waste? And I seriously don't want to throw that class and my other classes down the drain because they are the most challenging classes that I ever took, but that's beside the point. Although the thought of majoring in English didn't really leave my mind after I talked to that friend of mine. I kind of thought, "well, if I can't major in English, why can't I just do a minor with it?", so I looked at the minor's page of the U and to my dismay, they don't offer any English minor. So sad. I guess I just have to settle for classes that requires a lot of writing.

Mary Gates Hall (or at least one side of it)

And another major issue --- I re-checked the DARS (the auditing system that the U website has that checks the classes that you still need to take in order to graduate with the major that you're in) and to my surprise, the darn system tells me that I still need to take a Biology class. ARRGGH.. What is up with advisors?? I said before that I already checked with my major's department to see if I should still take more bio courses and the adviser that I talked to there said that I didn't have to anymore, but then this system tells me that I still have to. Good gosh, who do I believe?

Ok, my final rave I know probably by now you all are starting to feel a little sleepy since this post is longer than I intended for it to be. But can you blame me? Once the writing bug hits you, it never goes away. Anyway, I realize that since the university is surrounded by coffee shops, coffee shops will probably be my good place to be at. It is where I will find sanity amidst all the projects, the papers, the quizzes and the assignments that my darn good professors will give me. Ahhh.. my future.. it's getting a little brighter now.


[all pictures taken by ME]

I say BARE.

May sinabi/ginawa sayo ang isang tao na nakasakit sa damdamin mo. Pero instead na magalit ka sa taong yun, tinawanan mo na lang sya, at nagkunwari ka na lang na hindi ka naapektuhan.

You do it everytime. You pretend like as if it's just a small thing when really it's a big thing for you. You pretend that it's nothing when it's something.

You pretend because you don't want to make a big deal. You pretend because you don't want to cry. You pretend because you don't want to expose yourself. You pretend because you don't want to become vulnerable.

But don't you think it's tiring? Don't you think that it's tiring to keep pretending? Don't you think it's tiring to keep storing feelings of betrayal, of hurt, and of rejection inside you and pretend that they didn't exist in your life at all?

Why is it so easy for us to help other people with their problems when the problems we have ourselves we can't solve? Why is it so easy for us to ask our friends to pour out their problems to us, when we ourselves can't even pour our own problems to them?

We're born hypocrites. We tell people who are sad to cheer up, to be happy and to not let the sadness rule their lives. But while we do that, deep inside our hearts, we are in knee deep s***. We tell others to be happy, yet we can't tell ourselves to be happy. We can't tell ourselves to not let the sadness ruin happy moments in our lives.

It's exhausting. But what can you do? If you don't pretend, you don't know if you either lose or win. It's a lose-lose situation. You pretend, you feel crappy. You don't pretend, you don't know how much consequences of you not pretending is gonna make.

What a life.

Random na MAKATA na MADRAMA

mahirap kalimutan ang mga bagay na hindi naman dumating sa buhay mo.

it's hard not to mind things that are not within your reach.

may namimiss ako.

gusto ko ng pumasok.

talking while walking in the snow is my second best date scenario.

i want to fly away.

gusto kong umuwi.

gusto kong mag-photo trip sa downtown.

gusto kong matuto magluto ng carbonara.

madali pala ko mawalan ng self-esteem, pero mabilis ko rin naman nababalik.

madali lang pala akong patawanin, kahapon ko lang namalayan.

tinitignan ko yung ugali ni curly kahapon. nung kaming dalwa lang, matino sya. pagdating nung dalwang kong nanay, ang kulit at ang tigas ng ulo na. napapaghalataan na spoiled sa dalwa. ang labo nya kahapon kasi e, kung kelan nakain kami dun gusto makipaglaro, dun nagpapansin. nung umaga naman, nung nilalaro ko, ayaw maglaro. tamad. pesteng lalake.

and when she says she wants somebody else, hope you know that she doesn't mean you.

pareho kami ng kaibigan ko ngayon. we're both trying hard to forget.

read between the lines na lang. tinatamad akong magform ng isang coherent entry e.

i usually end entries like this with a photograph. pero wala akong makita sa library ko na magfit dito e. (E ANO NGAYON?)




hay nako. hirap ng walang ginagawa. you have way too much time in your hands to think.

"MUST LOVE DOGS"

It's amazing how much compassion I feel for dogs. I can't figure out whether I'm too weird or too sweet to feel that way.

I remember this one class day during my junior year in high school. Our English teacher separated the class into small groups so that we could discuss the Jack London book, "Into the Wild". We were given a set of questions that could help us facilitate a healthy discussion of the book. One of the questions asked was, "If you and your dog were stuck in a snowy mountain, with no heating devices of any kind that could warm you up, what would you do in order to keep yourself warm enough to survive? Would you kill your dog, and make a blanket out of its skin, or would you just sit there and just freeze to death?".

I chose to freeze to death.

Of course, everyone in my group, including our teacher who was listening to our discussion, acted all surprise. Their faces were saying "wow, this girl's stupid". The teacher said to me, "Wouldn't you rather live and let the dog die? Wouldn't you rather live so that you could still see your family?". I just smiled awkwardly and just said, "well, that's just me, I could never see myself killing a dog".

It's funny because before I move here in Seattle, I couldn't care less about any breed of dogs. I just saw them as "things" that eat, sleep, growl, and play. I despised the dogs that we owned back home because of how selfish they are for not sharing food with each other. There was also a point wherein I abused a dog just because he didn't share his food with our other dogs.

It's funny how things change. It's funny now that I can't stand people who leave their dogs in their cars. It's funny now that I can't stand people who abuse their dogs. It's funny know that I think of dogs as humans.

I heard him *burp* this afternoon. ECK.
I love it when dogs tilt their heads to the side. You know, the way that we tilt ours when we're looking at something that we can't figure out.
I love that no matter how old a dog is, they're still there to listen to you, to bug you when they want you to pet them, and to just sit with you when you're sitting all alone by yourself.

The Very First Lesson I Learned as a Transfer Student

... And word of advice to anyone who is planning to transfer to ANY university.

- ASK TO BE ASSIGN TO AN ADVISER THAT IS VERY FAMILIAR WITH YOUR DEGREE REQUIREMENTS -

-0-

There were two scenarios that almost made me make a scene today.

Scenario #1:

I was scheduled to be registered today at around 3:45p. I arrived at the location 5 minutes early. I sign up and I wait.

and I wait.

and I wait.

"The adviser will be right with you," says the receptionist girl.

So, I wait.

and I wait

and I wait some more.

"I'm sorry, she'll be right with you," says the receptionist girl again.

I smile and say, "OK".

I wait some more.

I look at the clock. It's 4:00pm. I tell myself that "patience is a virtue".

I wait some more.

Then at 4:15p, I hear the receptionist girl call somebody. Another advisor probably.

"There's a student here waiting for (ADVISOR'S NAME), she's scheduled at 3:45pm, she's been waiting for half and hour already... blah blah blah.. " she informs the party in the other line. Then, she hangs up.

"I'm sorry about your wait, we'll try to get another advisor for you," she says.

I fake a smile. Then, I ask,

"Is she with another student?"

She replied politely,

"Yes."

So I tried to understand and waited some more and thought to myself that this wait better be worthwhile.

4:20 pm strikes. Finally, the advisor comes out, asking giddily, "you think I've forgotten about you?"

I just smiled at her.

Then, she explains that the reason why it took her so long to take me in is because she had a problem in dealing with the requirements of the student before me.

I tried my best to understand.

Scenario #2: Frustrations that almost made me make a scene in the advisor's office

Frustration #1:

It took her 15 minutes to figure out and tell me if I satisfy the Biology courses required for the premed track and the Biochem track. Within that time frame, she kept looking back and forth at my transcript and the UW website to see if I satisfy the Bio courses. I think she did that 5 times.

Frustration #2:

When I ask her a question on whether or not I it is ok to take the Physical Chemistry class first instead of the Biochemistry class (since the Biochem class schedule conflicts with the Physics class schedule), she said: "Let me look at the site." What frustrated me about that is: ISN'T SHE SUPPOSE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION RIGHT OFF THE BAT SINCE SHE'S AN ADVISER??

Frustration #3:

As I was so anxious to get out of her office due to the fact that I was on the brink on making a scene, she told me, "I suggest that you talk to a department adviser about your classes and talk to the admissions about getting all the courses transferred from SCC evaluated."

The realization that frustrated me: I GOT ASSIGNED TO AN ADVISER THAT IS NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE BIOCHEMISTRY DEGREE REQUIREMENTS.

Frustration #4:

She gets a portion of the amount I paid for the orientation session for her lack of knowledge in advising a Biochemistry major and her incapability of giving me at least OK answers.

GRRRR!!!!

I waited half and hour for her to finish solving the problem with a student, which I now realize that she also DID NOT know how to handle that student's problem, which was probably the reason it took her so long to dismiss that student.

AND

I wasted another half an hour or so just looking at her while she figures out my stuff and asking her questions that she didn't know the answer to.

HAAAA.... *breathe in ... *breathe out...

Thank God for my trusty Pilot Fine Point pen. While waiting for her to figure my stuff out, I channeled all my frustrations (on her and on whoever assigned me to her) to that pen that I almost broke it in half.

And thank God also for Curly, he's the one that made me smile whole heartedly despite all the frustrations that I endured today.

And, ATE, if you're reading this, THANKS FOR BEING MY "SHOCK ABSORBER", sorry for bothering you during work. I just had to let my frustrations out and I needed someone for that to happen. It's funny of how I thought of you first though. WEHEHEHEHE.

Random Fact.

It takes one small thing to set me off.

It takes one small thing to set off the bad vibes I keep inside me.

One small thing and I become illogical, irrational, melodramatic, bitchy, and apathetic.

One small thing.

Makata lang.

Forget about my last post. I figured that I was too frustrated during the time that I wrote it, which is really the main reason why I wrote it, to let the frustrations out. But anyway, I'm not frustrated anymore.

Anyway, I leave you with this:

"minsan akala natin na kapag nakuha na natin ung isang bagay na pinakagugusto natin, magiging masaya tau..kahit malabo talaga na makamit natin un, palagi natin ipinanalangin na sana dumating ang panahon na maabot na rin natin ang ating mga pangarap..pero kadalasan kapag dumating na ang pagkakataong iyon, doon lang natin maiintindihan na hindi pala un ang talagang kailangan natin sa buhay..ang hirap para sa ating pakawalan ang mga pangarap natin..natatakot tau harapin ang realidad na nasa harapan natin ngayon..pero hanggang kailan? tanging oras lamang at ang Diyos ang nakakaalam.."

from: Grai

She wrote this in a sorta poetic way, well, at least that's my impression of it. But I sorta got something out of it. I've been wanting a lot of things that are out of my reach and I keep praying and hoping that one of these days, God will provide them to me.

Those lines from her made me think that what if these things were provided to me, will I be ecstatic? Will I be extremely happy that finally the one thing that I've been asking for for the longest time is finally given to me? Will I be fulfilled by the fact that I've already been rewarded the right to have those things?

I guess I won't know for sure what I would feel.

But those words from her gave me the option to think that I may not be fulfilled as I think I would be if those things were provided to me.

Happy Lang.

I PASSED!!

HAAA.... All the hard work that I put into my summer classes were worth it. I passed my classes. I reached my goal of wanting to have higher grades in the last quarters of Organic Chem and Calculus. I PASSED!!

I'm happy.

HAPPY HAPPY.

SOO HAPPY. SO VERRRY HAPPYYYYY..

THANK YOU GOD!

Best Advisers are sometimes bad advice takers.

I've been recently preaching to a couple of choir members about how parents will not "be parents" if they don't pry, say something, or comment about their child's life.

It's bad now that the preacher will now complain about how her mom's subtle distrust bugs her to bits.

I swear. Everytime that I go out, it's like I'm going to this death zone where she doesn't want me to go into. I get that she's a parent, just worrying about how dangerous it will be for a 19-year old girl to go out in the wild wild world at this hour. But a little trust on me and the good Man up there won't really hurt now would it?

Sometimes, I just loathe being the youngest or should I say the "only child". Parents just become so protective to the point that they don't trust my judgment sometimes.

Or maybe I'm just being irrational while I'm b*tch*n' away.

Repeat after me kids,

-- Parents won't "be parents" if they don't butt in their child's life. --

Repeat these words 10x and you will calm down. Or at least you'll feel sane during the moment that you repeat these words.

Chronicles of Curly: Him and his Pet-Peeve (no pun intended)

It's funny how Curly doesn't like to be wet by any form of water and to think, he's a retriever who's suppose to like playing in water because it's built in his physical features (his webbed feet for swimming).

He just came in from the kennel (an overnight place for dogs, kind of like a hotel, but only for dogs) today and we learned that it took 3 people to try and bathe him. But, to those people's dismay, Curly just wanted have his way of not wanting to take a bath.

So now my aunt is trying to hose him down with the garden hose but he just keeps on avoiding it.

Only my dog, ladies and gentlemen, only my dog.

Trying to hide from my aunt.

-0-

Ending this with a survey from Gail:

Seven things that scare you
1. car accidents
2. snakes
3. failing
4. not living up to my own expectations
5. heights
6. losing my parents
7. being alone

Seven things that you like the most
1. my laptop
2. my room
3. my ipod
4. my dog, Curly
5. Christmas
6. Sunday BBQ's at my aunt's house
7. God

Seven important things in your room
1. the closet(s)
2. the bed
3. the computer
4. the radio
5. the computer table turned study table
6. the phone
7. the container that contains my life's important stuff

Seven random facts about you
1. There's a 75(+)-25(-) percent chance that I could name a song that people will tell me to name.
2. I don't like to cry because I hate feeling vulnerable.
3. I LOVE BEAR HUGS.
4. I'm a frustrated photographer
5. I want to travel Europe because of the culture, the history and the OH so many places to see.
6. You won't see me not use a computer for a day
7. I heart fried chicken.

Seven things you plan to do before you die
1. Travel Europe.
2. Exhibit my best photographs in a gallery
3. Help the less fortunate
4. Work in a hospital
5. Do medical research
6. Do medical mission
7. Play the piano in front of many people. In short, I want to do the grade 1 piano recital that I never did. (Stage fright).

Seven things you can do
1. I can cook
2. I can catch a football
3. I can wall climb
4. I can go through 24 hours without sleeping
5. I can make a website using basic html
6. I can be pathetic and shallow at the same time
7. I can clean!! LOL.

Seven things you can't do
1. I can't perform in front of a big audience
2. I can't sit around in one place and do nothing
3. I can't sit still when I'm hyper (DUH!)
4. I can't stand reality TV shows
5. I can't calm myself down when I'm excited
6. I can't think of anything more to add to this.

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex
1. body figure (ABS!)
2. eyes
3. sense of humor
4. if he can carry a conversation
5. gets along with my friends & family
6. talents
7. shares the same interests as i have

Seven celeb crushes
1. Brad Pitt
2. Vin Diesel
3. Orlando Bloom
4. Angelina Jolie
5. The Rock
6. Lucky Manzano
7. Hugh Jackman

Seven people you want to see take this quiz
1. Angie (copy and paste mo sa friendster!)
2. Sarah
3. Gail T.
4. Jenn (copy and paste mo din sa friendster!)
5. Nica
6. Grai
7. Joelle

Dahil ano.. madrama ako ngayon at tsaka praning.. LOL...

me, angie, and amalia: kunwaring pinapanood yung sunset

haaayyy miiissshuuuu....

-0-

There's nothing more worse than being on your own when a crisis strikes. Although, you tend to learn something from it. You realize that it is your job to take care of yourself; that you're the one who's responsible for yourself; that you have to stop depending on other people to hold your arms when you're in trouble; and that you have to make big and wise decisions that will help you take care of yourself.

And another thing, it's not wise to blame anything or anyone when a crisis hits you. Actually, it's IMMATURE to put a blame on anyone when a crisis itself involves only you. Sure, you will get emotional and irrational and sometimes you find yourself just hating everything in sight, especially when a crisis hits you hard. But, just keep in mind that when you become emotional, irrational and hateful, you'll just involve everything that is around you and in some cases you might make their lives miserable too by involving them in your own personal drama. Just keep the emotional/rational/hateful stuff to yourself or at least keep it until the drama is over.

- lessons learned from a recent experience

-0-

You and Me
by: Lifehouse

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
Nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you

Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of

You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothin to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive

- lecheng kantang 'to... it never fails.. it never fails to make my heart skip.

Extra Shot of Ex-Pre-sso

I should've learned from a previous experience that adding an extra shot to the regular dose of expresso in a latte will make my head, my stomach and my hands go bizaare.

I felt the pain of that extra shot today at around.. oh, 3am. (Jenn, not your fault... this is all me.)

And now I'm wide awake, just killing time before the bus arrives. Oh joy.

One more day. JUST ONE MORE DAY.

Amides, Nitriles, Alkenes, Esters, Malonates.. What's the meaning of life again?

Oh, Right. I forgot. Our own body (our life) is based on organic chemistry, hence the term, ORGANIC. Med students, AM I RIGHT??

It has already sank into me of how much reactions I need to remember for the ACS exam that I will be taking on Thursday. I have two and a half more days to study for that test and my Math comprehensive final test. Pray that I won't lose my head after Thursday.

..... Must think positive thoughts.

..... Must think Wild Waves on Saturday.

.... Must think Canada, sometime in the next few weeks.

.... Must think of UW registration in the next two weeks (ok.. how did this get here?)

.... Must think late-night TV, watching those crime drama shows on TNT.

.... Must think happy thoughts...

.... Must buy a cast for my right arm after Thursday is over... because my arm would probably be numb/sore after all the writing that I did. (WAH?)

.... Must think positive...

.... I MUST DRINK COFFEE RIGHT NOW. STARBUCKS, here I come.


BYE!

Learn(ed) something from it.

The points made in this entry are well said. Some of them slapped me right in the face. Read it, maybe they could slap you too.

Credits goes to the writer who was a former beauty editor for Pink Magazine (distributed in the PI).

-------

FACT: It takes one beer, one LIGHT beer that is, to become a TRUE BLUE CYNICAL REALIST.

A Photo a Day keeps the Mood Swings Away.

Leaves and Branches
taken last August 3, 2005

Sa simpleng "oo" lang, masaya na ko.

Mababaw lang akong tao.

Sa simpleng "oo" lang, masaya na ko.

I'm quoting my sister here.

"Friends come and go.... But regardless of whatever stormy weather that you encounter, the friend that sticks with you means that that person is your true friend."

OK!!!!

HELL WEEK starts on Monday. I swear, never in my life have I imagined me experience a hell week during summer. GRR!! I haven't really done anything productive, yet. I'm just, well, not inspired to do them right now. Tomorrow, or should I say today, if ever I wake up early (meaning around 2pm early in the afternoon) I promised myself that I will go straight to finishing that summary paper for my Organic Chemistry class. Then, after finishing that, which will probably take the whole afternoon, I will start studying for my ACS Organic Chemistry test. Then, if I get bored studying Organic Chemistry, I will move on to Calculus and do the 3 paper notes that I will be using for my final exam for that class.

On another note, it has been a weird past two weeks. I've been affected about certain things that I'm supposed to be not affected by, since well.. it doesn't concern me at all. I dunno. HAAYY.. All I can say is... THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

In the THIRD.

Do you know a person who goes hogwild in taking pictures? Well, you do now. Meet her:


Last night, she planned on going to the University of Washington to check out a journal at its Chemistry library that she will use for her Organic Chemistry class assignment. True to her word, after she dropped her mom off at work, she was off to the university to perform her objective.

After doing some school work at the library, she decided to go on a walk around the campus (well, ALMOST around the campus). Equipped with her digital camera, she started taking pictures of every architecture and every naturistic things that she sees.

Two long hours and eight dollars later, she found herself exhausted while driving back north to pick up her mom.

When she arrived home, she plopped herself on her bed and turned on her computer. She decided to upload the pictures that she took during her solo tour at the university campus.

After the uploading process, she took a peek at the photographs that she took. All 98, large resolution, photographs.

OK, so yes, I kind of went crazy on taking photographs. Seriously, I did not realize that I was taking that much pictures, while I was taking them (did that make sense at all?).

It was fun taking a tour all by myself. It made me realize how excited I am to actually go to that school. That BIG, LARGE, ENORMOUS school.

Anyway, I'll post the pictures when I get the chance to edit them out. Damn, I just realized that I have a lot to edit, and to think I already deleted some that I didn't like. There goes my school work schedule.

Here's a preview:

The Front Entrance of the Suzallo Library.

Feast of the.... ummm.. what's the English word for "Nayon"?

1. It was an OK event. It was so hot that day though. Sun was shining so bright. Its rays just stung our skin like there was no tomorrow (Ok, I exaggerated that part.. but seriously, it was really hot.. MANILA hot...).

2. I had my craving for pansit palabok fulfilled. Although, it tasted like well.. I dunno.. I can't describe it without using "evil" words.

3. We saw this booth stand where they were selling "Filipino-labeled" t-shirts. It was expensive though, $15 for a shirt. But Jenn bought one!

This is the design of the shirt she bought

This is me, trying to... umm.. model? it.

4. There was a looonnnng line at the food booth that sells the supposedly, "Best HALO HALO in this side of Manila". The "BEST" costs $4; it tasted like WATER.

I took this picture while we're in line to buy.

5. The Filipino-American Student Association, also known as FASA, based at the University of Washington had a booth there too. I grabbed some info because I'm planning to join it. Coolness.

BEST PART of the DAY: PICTURE TRIPPINGS!!!



.... on the way home .....


.... and because Jenn and I got bored, pinagtripan namin si Carl at si Kuya God.. wehehehe ....