party pics

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/share/view?i=EeAOXLFw5aNGzlY&open=1&sm=0&sl=0


Here's the link to the pictures of the party that we had last Saturday. It was Karlenn's early birthday celebration and my very late birthday celebration. CIAO!

Reality Bites Me Up in my Ass. AGAIN.

I can't wait to go back to Seattle. I must admit that I miss everything there. My mom, my sister, my aunt, my cousins, Curly, my friends, the heat of "summer sunshine", the MALLS, studying, my room, my computer. OK, let's just say I miss EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong here; I'm enjoying my vacation here in the PI. I enjoy being with my sister and her family and of course, I enjoy being with my friends. But, just recently, I realized that my life is very much "complex" here -- I don't know if "complex" is an exaggerated description, but I think that it's the right word to use in this kind of issue/situation.

So how complex is it? First and foremost, the complexities regarding my family here. Somehow, being the paranoid person that I am, I feel like a burden to my sister and her husband. I don't know why. You see, they have 2 kids that they have to attend to and then there's the house that our family owns and there's their farm that they are currently taking care of. Then, there's the whole issue of my brother-in-law moving from one region of the country to another because of his job and that automatically affects my sister and their kids. See why I feel like I'm an "extra" baggage? Imagine what more could I feel if I was living here for real. I now understand why my mom doesn't want me to go to college here.

Another complexity is my life HERE. I realized that if I did still lived here, I think that I will be living in the past. I don't want to get any more descriptive than that, but yeah, I think that if I did still lived here, I will dwell in the memories of the past and not think about MOVING ON.

It's not that I don't like to live here anymore. It's just that I realized what my life will be like here if I was still living here at the moment. COMPLICATED. PATHETIC.

I love my sister, i love my friends. But FOR NOW, I think my life belongs to Seattle.

I now know the answers to the questions that I had 2 years ago.

obsessive-compulsive

There's an OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) in all of us...
 
Do you guys agree with me? I know for a fact that I have it in me, even just a tad of it. Here's an example:
 
When I moved to Seattle, I have had thoughts of doing some writings. Back then, I thought of it as one of my "outlets", the one where I could easily burn out all the frustrations I had with myself and my family.
 
I did do some writings, mostly writings about moods and feelings that I had when I first moved there. I didn't do "real" writings.
 
Junior year in HS - 

This was the time I was introduced to the lovely world of writing. I learned how to write based on reflections and experiences. This was the time I started to write essays, poems, reviews and speeches. 

Senior year in HS -  

This was the time I took two writing classes, one was called "Creative Writing" class and the other was "Essay Fundamentals" class. 
 
The first few assignments of the Creative Writing class was a drag for me. WHY? Let's just say that writing vignettes (a writing slang for "short stories") wasn't my thing. But the very last assignment for that class was a thrill for me. We were assigned to do a final project of whichever category of creative writing --- either a collection of poems, a 5-page vignette, or a monologue. I chose to do a collection of poems and when I saw the grade given to me for that project, I felt like I finished that class without any traces of regrets.
 
On the other hand, the Essay Fundamentals class was all about essays (hence, the name for it). My instructor, who happens to be the same instructor I had for my Creative Writing class, taught the class with no intimidation. She taught us to write based on experiences. She taught us how to give "light" to our writings. She even taught us words that we didn't know existed. For this class, we had to write 6 essays, each having its own theme. My favorite theme was the "persuasive" essay theme, where the concept is just picking a controversial topic to which you have your own opinion about, i.e. "Gay marriage" and putting your opinion about it on paper along with researched supports and oppositions. 
 
I did mine on "coffee". I said that coffee was bad for your health. Yep, being a coffee lover that I am, I turned myself into a hypocrite just for that essay. But, my hypocrisy paid off, because I got a good grade for the essay! :) 
 

So, what's my whole point about giving you a history about my writing experiences? Honestly, I don't know what my point is, I just wanted to give you guys a history on how I learned to love writing.
 
How does this all fit to the whole OCD thing? Well, recently, I'm having some thoughts of writing a book. I've been having these thoughts for a long time now and it is just killing me that I cannot put them into action. I already have a theme/topic in mind, now all I need to do is just cram up in one peaceful and quiet place and begin to write an outline. BUT I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING, I'M JUST SITTING HERE, IN FRONT OF MY BROTHER-IN-LAW'S LAPTOP, TYPING AWAY MY FRUSTRATING THOUGHTS. I think I am going to be like this even until the time I go back to Seattle. FRUSTRATED. OBSESSED. FRUSTRATED.
 
Do you guys see where the OCD thing comes into play here? If not, well.. at least I gave an effort in showing it.
 
Another OCD... 
 
I just finished watching an episode of Sex and the City and I can't help but notice that Sarah Jessica Parker's character, Carrie, is a bit obsessive. It was the episode where she encountered an ex-girlfriend of Aidan (her ex-fiance), who made a "face" at her. The face that says "ohhh this is the girl who breaks the hearts of many men". She became even more obsessed about the "face" comment, when she read her book review, which says, "gives credits to women, makes men look disposable" (I cannot remember the exact words, so forgive me for paraphrasing). I don't really know how to explain the whole point of the episode, but if you guys have watched that particular episode you'll know what I'm saying about her being obsessive.       

Side Notes: I watched the South Border band @ UPLB yesterday. I'll upload pictures soon. The front man with the bonnet is so CUTE!

mean stuff.

I gotta tell you, sales people can be really rude sometimes. I went to this wholesale market center (called SIOLAND) and WOW! Can the ladies be any bitchier?? Well, I guess I can get pass that since it's really hot inside that store, but HELLO??? It's not an excuse for treating your customers like crap.

Moving on..

I finally got to watch Mean Girls (starring Lindsay Lohan) today. After waiting for weeks for it to show in local theatres, I finally got to watch it TODAY. It was a pretty good movie. It tackles the world of highschool drama and its relative. It's also a movie where you can get some pointers on how to "sneakily" fight your enemy, i.e., make her think that Kolteen bars can make you lose weight, when it actually makes you gain weight or you could just bluntly try to destroy her image to people.

 

 

"it's just one of those days"

I quoted the title of this blog entry from a Limp Bizkit song, unfortunately, I forgot the title of that song.
 
Anyway, this day has been a really pain in the ass for me. My blog face is messed up. I don't have enough patience to customize it. I didn't go to church for I had to take care of my two nieces. I, once again got caught up in a moment where my heart and my brain are fighting, AGAIN.
 
Yep, it was a really "gloomy" day. I wanted to get out of the house, but I couldn't cause I was given a task to do. The whole day I felt like I had to carry a chain strapped around my neck. A chain that I couldn't get out of.
 
In short, this was a shitty day for me.
 
By the way, tomorrow is my best friend's birthday. I think tomorrow I might stop by at their college to greet her and to maybe tell her about the shit I went through today. 
 
Damn, this is really pathetic. I guess this is what happens when you get hurt.  

the heart vs the brain

What do you do when your brain says something and your heart refutes it? Don't you just love it when those two bicker?? You tend to get confuse. BIG TIME. You tend to commit suicide (not physically speaking, but mentally). You tend to say words that you don't understand yourself that your friend has to decode it for you.
 
BRAIN is the one who knows what your body is going through. HEART is the one that keeps you alive. BRAIN thinks logically and intellectually. HEART thinks emotionally and spiritually.
 
Sometimes I can't take it when issues such as "getting hurt over and over again" arise from, oh can I say, all of us? When you get hurt by someone or something, your BRAIN tells you that "you don't deserve getting hurt by someone like that" or "that someone or something is not worth it". But your HEART tells you "forgive the person who hurt you" or "stay friends with that person" or "don't cut your friendship ties with that person since you guys have been friends for quite some time".
 
See the difference? See how you can get confuse by all the mutterings of your head and your chest?
 
For just one day, I wish that both of these "organs" could just be partners when it comes to matters of our lives. It would really make a difference when both of them could agree. I know it would make me SANE for one day.

side problems

TECHNOLOGY-

I'm currently having some problems with my sidebar. At first, I thought it's a problem with the template that I was using, so I changed it. Same problem occurred. What's going on HTML these days??

WAAHHH.

This is the reason why I don't like playing with HTML. It screws up your brain a lot.

LIFE -

I am currently needing a boost of wisdom and understanding. With the remaining month that I have of this vacation, I feel like I need to finish an "unfinished business". The only problem is that I don't know what business is that, however,  if I did know what it is,  I have no clue on how to fix it. Strange issue, HUH? Ever since I started this vacation there was this feeling of wanting to accomplish something, so that when I go back to Washington, I could lead a much clearer and meaningful life than what I had before.  Ambiguities, ambiguities. Life couldn't get anymore clearer than this.

 

Love Song

by 311
lyrics from letssingit.com

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

-- I always tend to show a soft side when a good slow jam/love song plays on the radio or on MTV. This song is from the soundtrack of 50 First Dates (starring Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler). It's a pretty cool song and it has a "kilig" factor in it.

mga ka-cheap-an nga naman

Grabe pala mga tao ngayon 'no, yung mga galit sayo, di man lang i-confront sa muka mo. Dinadaan pa sa mga sulat sulat. Ano naman kayang klaseng confrontation yun?? SULAT??? What the FUCK?? (*sorry for the improper language) Ang cheap ng confrontation na yun. GRABE. Mas gugustuhin ko pang sabihin sa harapan ko, kesa sa sulat. Siguro di ko na lang patulan yun, kasi baka bumaba pa ko sa level nya e. Ang baduy naman nun. Pero in fairness naman sa kanya, napeste nya talga ko ng todohan. AS IN! Wag na sana syang magpakita. Mga judgmental nga naman na tao o. (PARANG ako hindi judgmental e no??)  
  
ANG SULAT:

"i love you?lam ko galit ka?lam ko asar ka?lam ko ayaw mo sakin?lam ko?lam ko nga pinapakita mo kasi eh?tinataboy mo ko?i love you?wer no longer friends?sayo?ndi nmn talga eh?grabe?ngayon sure ako, mapapasaya rin kita,kasi wer no longer friends?now dat your happy!!!!!????sana lalo ka pang sumaya???!!!tnx at nakausap kita at nakita...kahit u treated me lyk shiiiit!!!!!!!!lahat ng sinabi ko syo nga pala was just oneof my barber shop story... para manlangmabawasan ang pagtaboy mo sakin...pero it didnt work...kaya...good luck nalang sa lahat,and i hope, wala ka ng mameet na katulad ko...!kawawa naman sila..."

 
BOOHOO. W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R.
 
sure i can be a bitch. but i only bitch at people because some of them deserves it. 
 
word of advice to all of us:
 
never ever judge a person, lalo na pag bago nyo pa lang sya nakikilala.

and

pag galit kayo sa isang tao, tell it to their face! confront them about it! kakupalan kasi pag tinatago pa e.

 

Tuesdays with Morrie

I'm currently reading a book that's entitled Tuesdays with Morrie. It was written by Mitch Albom, who is a writer for the Detroit Free Press. It's an interesting book very much like the Purpose Driven Life book; the only difference is that this book has a story line in it.

These are some of the dialogues that Morrie -- one of the main character of the book:

----- "Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted even when you know you should never take anything for granted." 
                                                                                           ----- "Love wins. Love always wins"

----- "The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."

----- "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

----- "Love is the only rational act"

----- "Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if we ever are going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too, even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling."

I think we could all relate to these dialogues at some point in our lives. 

 

Take Care y'all.

feeling a bit restless

I'm feeling restless again today. Do you guys know the feeling of a fast beating heart? Your hands shaking just like an epileptic person. Yep, that is what I feel right at this very moment. I have no idea why. OH! I forgot something, I feel butterflies in my stomach!! ARGGHHH. I hate this feeling, it is so not soothing to the brain and the heart. HEHEHEHE.

"retail therapy"

I just got back from a 2-day vacation at Quezon City. We slept at my brother-in-law's sister's house and WOW!! can it get any louder than our house here in Laguna. Seriously, I cannot take the sounds of 3 kids shouting, whining and crying. Or maybe I'm just exaggerating. 
 
Anyway, eventhough I experienced so much uproar from that house for two days,  I had a great time spending THOSE 2 days shopping at Glorietta, Greenhills, the Outlet Yard in QC, and Dapitan Arcade.  It was like heaven for me! He.He. My sister bought the Puma bowling bag at Greenhills, which I really wanted ever since I saw one that was owned by my cousin's sister-in-law. My sister and I experienced a downside about that bag. It was freakin' hard to look for it!!! There were a lot of bags similar to it but I didn't like a Pucca cartoon or a Paul Frank cartoon label on it. I wanted the Puma label. Thank God I didn't give up on finding that bag. Or else I would've ended up with a "number 7" label bowling bag. Whew! 
 
Another downside that I experienced during the 2 day shopping spree was finding a Marithe Francois Girbaud wallet at Greenhills that was way more cheaper than the one that I bought from the Girbaud store at Glorietta mall. I was so bummed about that. But it's cool, at least I got an authentic one.
 
Ahh.. The joys of shopping.  

three things you should know about me

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. liane
2. lianetot
3. all words related to "CAT"
 
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I don't get angry easily
2. I'm a good friend (I think.. )
3. I'm a good daughter (I think.. )
 
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. no self control
2. expects a lot
3. overexaggerates/overthinks/overanalyzes things
 
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. life
2. the concept of moving on
3. Mendelian Genetics
 
THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. being stuck in traffic
2. words I cannot understand
3. people who bitch at me when I'm angry
 
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. God
2. bees
3. hell
 
THREE THINGS U NEED EVERYDAY:
1. God
2. food
3. my family and friends
 
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BRANDS:
1. Bench
2. Forever21
3. LEI
 
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITES SONGS @ THE MOMENT:
1. happy ending by avril lavigne
2. pieces of me by ashlee simpson
3. let's get retarded by the black eyed peas
 
THREE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. me myself and i
2. family
3. my friends
 
THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO
1. control
2. expect less
3. control
 
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. TV
2. internet
3. foodtrip
 
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. clean out my room
2. a laptop computer
3. the party on Saturday
 
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. medicine
2. biotech scientist
3. fashion photographer/photojournalist
 
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Europe
2. California
3. Boracay 
  
 

changing faces

BLOGSITE -

I'm on the verge of changing the face of this site. I checked out blogskins.com the other day and found out that there are a lot of new skins available for the bloggers of the world to use.

How I wish I could change the look of this site now, but I can't because I don't have a stable computer with me.

It's so sad this blog is lacking pictures. I guess my current pictures will just have to wait till September.

I miss my PC. I miss my late night rendezvous with it.

For now, I'm just gonna stick with this face.

PERSONAL WEBSITE -

I haven't updated my site yet. Come to think of it the only link updated in that site is this blog. What else should I post/publish there? It's hard to think of non-verbose issues/topics to put in there since I will be using HTML and you HTML people out there know how hard it is to edit codes. Well, I've got 2 months more to think. Any suggestions out there?

MY ROOM -

I think the "neat and organized" bug have stung me in the head. I've been thinking about re-arranging my room in Seattle when I come back from this vacation. You know, making it more organized and more functional. I mapped out a plan on a yellow pad paper of what I have to buy and what I have to do in order to make that room more simple to live in. I wish I was using my computer in that room so I could post a picture of what my room looks like right now. OH WELL.

(Wow, seriously, I AM missing my "simple life" in Seattle, is this a good thing or a bad thing? NO IDEA.)

mood icon

Joelle.. if you're reading this, I got the mood thingie from you!! SALAMAT!! ;)

so-called "expectations"

Expectations. I don't exactly know the meaning of the word "expectation", but I'll define it in my own terms, "to expect something from a promise, a word, a play, a dance, a contest and the whole nine yards".

When I was a bit younger, I had a lot of expectations from myself, my parents and my friends. I was the girl who believes in the principle of "once you promise something to me, I expect you to fulfill and/or do it, because if you don't I'll make sure to rub it in your face for as long as I can remember it". Yep, I was a bit uber-freakish when it comes to promises. But I have learned that being an uber-freak can do some great damage. What kind of damage? Hmm.. Let's see.. well there's me being really pissed off at the person who made a promise and there's me lying down on my bed, moping and thinking about why, how and what could I have done to make this person fulfill this "promise" to me.

It hurts me a lot when my own expectations are not met. I guess it runs in the family since my mom is the number 1 expectant in the family. Now, I'm trying to be more on the less expecting side. It's much more relaxing and it's not a heavy burden to carry. But I have to admit that I still expect. I still get hurt. I wish that this kind of attitude that I have goes away, cause it's killing me to overthink and overexaggerate about some stuff that I don't need to overthink about at all.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines expectation as "1a. The act of expecting. b. Eager anticipation: eyes shining with expectation. 2. The state of being expected. 3a. Something expected: a result that did not live up to expectations". I got that from Bartleby.com.

CIAO!

Forever 21

I just finished checking out the Forever 21 site. DAMN! They've got good stuff going on this season!! Nice Blouses, cute skirts!! arggghhh.. oh well.. On the bright side, I get to go to Greenhills next week!! WOOHOOO!!!

a "passion for fashion"

Last night I was reading the current issue of Preview magazine that has the headline of (I think..) "10 most fashionable women". I was reading the article and it sort of inspired me to write down some fashion "foods for thought".

Here are by far the Top 10 Lessons I learned from trying to be a "fashion model":

1. Never wear rubber shoes and/or tennis shoes with slightly flared jeans.

2. Never wear a skimpy top with a skirt at church, sport it if your going on gimiks or parties.

3. Accessorize your outfit.

4. Have confidence in what your wearing.

5. Have your own personal style, have no fear about what other people would think about it.

6. Shop alone, if shopping with friends or relatives, bring the ones who will give you fashion advice, and I mean FASHION ADVICE alone.

7. "Wear something fancy with something casual"

8. Invest on classics. (I know this advice has been on every fashion magazines)

9. Buy what you really (10x) like.

10. Dress to impress yourself.

Some Q and A regarding my "passion for fashion":

Favorite Stores: Department Stores (i.e. Bon-Macy's, Nordstroms, SM), A & E, Abercrombie and Fitch, Rave, Forever 21, Genevieve Gozum, YRYS, Bench, Pacsun, LEE

Meccas: Department Stores, Greenhills, Liliw (shoes)

Clothing Weakness: shirts and blouses, shoes

Fashion Icon: Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman (haute coutures), Carrie Bradshaw

Fashion faux pas: wearing rubber shoes with slightly flared jeans

Fave Get-up: Hot weather - basic tee, jeans, and sandals - tank top, capris, sandals
Cold Weather - layered look with jeans and sneaks or rubber shoes - sweatshirt and jeans

Clothing must-have: a good pair of jeans

Accessory must-have: necklace and/or choker

Some food for thought regarding Life, Music, and Photography:

Photography - sepia and black n white tones
Photography - children :: dogs :: flowers :: depth of field :: candids (b n w)
Photography - photos of friends and families, life and music
Photography - trying to figure out if I have a talent in this field or not
Photography - figuring out what my style and my theme is.

Music - live, acoustic, slow rock alternative, upbeat RnB, slow jams, shaky rap tunes

Life - musings, woes, sentiments; family;love;friends;God
Life - science, Biochemistry, genetics, Human Genome Project, PhD-MD, Pediatrics specializing in Oncology-Hematology, Cancer
Life - Coffee Shop, pastries, partners, gallery of photos, portfolio of photos
Life - Biotechnology in Seattle, Chemistry in UP
Life - witnessing and sharing the word of God
Life - web design and html codes
Life - personalize your style
Life - Sex and the City; cute, sophisticated cartoon women

Life - being able to convince myself that I could move on
Life - being able to salvage a "lost" friendship
Life - being able to accept God's will for me
Life - being able to understand my parents' protectiveness
Life - being confused about whether or not my parents trust my judgment or not

Last words ...

"moving on is like fashion, the less your attention to it, the more it creeps up to you."

hmmm...

A few sentimental woes..

I miss Curly. I guess I just miss a playmate with me. I miss my room!! HAHAHA.. I can't believe this, I actually miss my life in Seattle. I guess that's how it goes once you've live in a place for 2 years. You tend to miss it already. Anyway, it's all good, I don't think I would want to experience the HEAT there right now. But I'm also sad about what happened up north. God bless their souls.