i miss my friends.

I just miss the feeling of being really comfortable around people.
People who have known you for quite some time. Oh say.. 8 years? 9 years?
Most of my friends back home are graduating this year. How fast time goes by. I wish I could watch them. I wish I could be there to congratulate them. TO give them a hug for a job well done.
I wish I could be there during reunions. I've missed a lot. One of my friends told me that I need to make up for the absences. Don't worry, someday I will.
I really miss them. the fun that I had with them. The teasing. The jokings. Everything.
I just wish that they would take the effort to say or drop an email here and there. That's all I want. A simple hi. I just don't want to do all the effort. But sometimes I have to, in order for me to know that I'm not forgotten. dramatic, i know.
I just miss them. Wala lang. I just wish that they're like a city away from me.

Blog Features change a lot.

Seriously.

Livejournal
Wordpress
Multiply


So I have a lot of weblogs? I don't really have that much time on my hands to fill these babies up with my unmitigated, random and superficial thoughts. I just update when I feel like it. These days I'm not really a fan of writing. I read more. I don't know, I just find fun and interest in what other people write about.

So, to the blogs that I lurk around to: Sorry I don't comment much... I'm just not the type of person to write. But, I respect your opinions (sometimes I don't.. ).. But most of the times I do.. don't worry about me.. i'm not what you call a "toxic" lurker/reader.. i'm simply a person who enjoys reading better than writing.

Adios!

HTTP://ANGELICCHIC.WORDPRESS.COM

self sacrifice is good for the soul

I've been selfish for the past 3 months. I've been out and about. My social life has turned me into ways that I didn't even imagine. I partied until the wee hours of the morning. Stayed up late just to talk to friends. Pretty much do things that normal teens and early 20s people do. I've been sucked into that hole where I didn't think straight. I didn't think what the people who are close to my life think about what i'm doing.

Now, I think I'm paying for it. My mom suddenly became not-to-strict, but close to being strict on me. She wants me to go home early now. Whenever I ask permission from her to go out, I always get that look, that as if I'm going to do something bad.

It's an ugly feeling. Funny part is, I don't know which feeling is ugly.

Guess that's how life is sometimes. When you do too much, you end up paying for it by having someone or something make you not do much.

So I guess it's time for me to self sacrifice. Sacrifice the things that I THINK would make me happy for the things that other people will be happy with. Well, I'll sacrifice SOME things. But not ALL things.

I'm feeling a little in between right now. I don't really know where to position myself into.

GOD, HELP ME.

Something for all of us to think about.

========================
Speech of Butch Jimenez, head of PLDT's media and strategic communications
department, delivered during the UP Diliman Class 2003 commencement
exercises)


As college students, you're just about to set sail into the real world. As
you prepare for the battleground of life, you'll hear many speeches, read
tons of books and get miles of advice telling you to work hard, dream big,
go out and do something for yourself, and have a vision. Not bad advice,
really. In fact, following these nuggets of truth may just bring you to the
top. But as I've lived my life over the years, I have come to realize that
it is great to dream big, have a vision, make a name, and work hard. But
guess what: There's something better than that.


So my message today simply asks the question, What's better than...?


Let's start off with something really simple. What's better than a long
speech? No doubt, a short one. So, you guys are in luck because I do intend
to keep this short.


Now, let me take you through a very simple math exam. I'll rattle off a
couple of equations, and you tell me what you observe about them. Be
mindful of the instructions. You are to tell me what you observe about the
equations. Here goes:


3+4=7, 9+2=11, 8+4=13, and 6+6=12. Tell me, what do you observe?


Every time I conduct this test, more than 90 percent of the participants
immediately say, 8+4 is NOT 13, it's 12!


That's true and they are correct. But they could have also observed that
the three other equations were right. That 3+4 is 7, that 9+2 is 11, and
that 6+6 is 12.


What's my point? Many people immediately focus on the negative instead of
the positive. Most of us focus on what's wrong with other people more than
what's right about them.


Examine those four equations. Three were right and only one was wrong. But
what is the knee-jerk observation? The wrong equation.


If 10 people you didn't know were to walk through that door, most of you
would describe those people by what's negative about them. He's fat.He's
balding. Oh, the short one. Oh, the skinny girl. Ahhh, 'yung pango
(flat-nosed). Etc.


Get the point? It's always the negative we focus on and not the positive.


You'll definitely experience this in the corporate world. You do a hundred
good things and one mistake-guess what? Chances are, your attention will be
called on that one mistake.


So what's better than focusing on the negative? Believe me, its focusing on
the positive. And if this world could learn to focus on the positive more
than the negative, it would be a much nicer place to live in.


Better than working hard.


We have always been told to work hard. Our parents say that, our teachers
say that, and our principal says that. But there's something better than
merely working hard. It's working SMART. It's taking time to understand the
situation, and coming out with an effective and efficient solution to get
more done with less time and effort.


As the Japanese say, "There's always a better way." One of the most
memorable case studies I came across with as I studied Japanese management
at Sophia University in Tokyo was the case of the empty soap box, which
happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies.


The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a box of soap
that was empty. It immediately isolated the problem to the assembly line,
which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery
department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line
empty.


Management tasked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the
engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution
monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed
through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked
hard and they worked fast.


But a rank-and-file employee that was posed the same problem came out with
another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it
at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed
the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.


Clearly, the engineers worked hard, but the rank-and-file employee worked
smart.


So what's better than merely working hard? It's working smart.


Having said that, it is still important to work hard. If you could combine
both working hard and working smart, you would possess a major factor
toward success.


Better than dreaming big


I will bet my next month's salary that many have encouraged you to dream
big. Maybe even to reach for the stars and aim high.


I sure heard that about a million times right before I graduated from this
university. So I did. I did dream big. I did aim high. I did reach for the
stars. No doubt, it works. In fact, the saying is true: "If you aim for
nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit: nothing."


But there's something better than dreaming big. Believe me, I got shocked
myself. And I learned it from the biggest dreamer of all time, Walt Disney.


When it comes to dreaming big, Walt is the man. No bigger dreams were
fulfilled than his. Every leadership book describes him as the ultimate
dreamer. In fact, the principle of dreaming and achieving is the core
message of the Disney hit song, "When You Wish Upon a Star".


"When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are; anything your
heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dream, no request
is too extreme. When you wish upon a star, as dreamers do," as Jiminy
Cricket sang.


But is that what he preached in the Disney company? Dream?


Imagineering


Well, not exactly. Kinda, but not quite. The problem with dreaming is if
that's all you do, you'll really get nowhere. In fact, you may just fall
asleep and never wake up. The secret to Disney's success is not just
dreaming, it's IMAGINEERING. You won't find this word in a dictionary. It's
purely a Disney word.


Those who engage in imagineering are called imagineers. The word combines
the words "imagination" and "engineering."


In the book "Imagineers," Disney's CEO, Michael Eisner, claims that
"imagineers turn impossible dreams into real magic." Walt Disney explained
there is really no secret to their approach. They just keep moving
forward-opening new doors and doing new things, because they are curious.
And it is this curiosity that leads them down new paths. They always dream,
explore and experiment. In short, imagineering is the blending of creative
imagination and technical know-how.


Eisner expounds on this thought by saying that "Not only are imagineers
curious, they are courageous, outrageous, and their creativity is
contagious."


The big difference with imagineers is that they dream and then they DO! So
don't just be a dreamer, be an imagineer.


You must have all been given a lecture at one time or another about the
importance of having a vision. Even leadership expert John Maxwell says
that an indispensable quality of a leader is to have a vision. The Bible
also makes it very clear that "Without vision, people perish." So no doubt
about it, having a vision is important to success.


But surprise! There's something more potent than a vision. It's a CAUSE.
If all you're doing is trying to reach your vision and you're pitted
against someone fighting for a cause, chances are you'll lose.


The Vietnam War is a classic example. Literally with sticks and stones, the
Viet Cong beat the heavily armed US Army to surrender, primarily because
the US had a vision to win the war, but the Vietnamese were fighting for a
cause.


In the realm of business, many leaders have visions of making their company
No. 1, or grabbing market share, or forever increasing profits. Nothing
really wrong with that vision, but take the example of Sony founder Akio
Morita. He did not just have a vision to build the biggest electronics
company in the world. In his biography, "Made in Japan," he reveals that
the real reason he set up Sony was to help rebuild his country, which had
just been battered by war. He had a cause he was fighting for. His vision
to be an electronics giant was secondary.


What's the difference between a vision and a cause? Here's what sets them
apart...


No one is willing to die for a vision. People will die for a cause. You
posses a vision. A cause possesses you. A vision lies in your hands. A
cause lies in your heart. A vision involves sacrifice. A cause involves the
ultimate sacrifice.


Just a word of caution. You must have the right vision, and you must be
fighting for the right cause. In the end, right will always win out.


It may take time, and it may take long. But if you have the right vision
and are fighting for the right cause, you will prevail. If not, no matter
how sincere you are, if you are not fighting for what is right, you will
ultimately fail.


Two final quotes: Allow me to end with two quotes that I have lived by ever
since I stepped out of UP. The first comes from the Bible, which says,
"To whom much is given, much is required." Having been given the
opportunity to study in UP, no doubt, much has been given to you in terms
of an excellent education. Don't forget that in return, much is now
required of you to use that education not just for yourself, but for
others.


And as you move up and start reaching the pinnacle of success, even more
will be required of you to look at the welfare of others, of society and of
the country.


Though I have often dreamed of addressing any graduating class of UP
Diliman, I never really thought it would happen. This brings me to the
second quote I have held close to my heart as I traverse the destiny God
has laid out for me.


"There is no destination beyond reach of one who walks with God." My
standing in front of you today, as the youngest commencement speaker of
this esteemed university in 92 years, is proof of how true that quote is.


A final review:


* What's better than focusing on the negative? Focus on the positive. *
What's better than working hard? It's working smart. * What's better than
dreaming? Imagineering. * What's better than doing something for yourself?
Doing something for your country. * What's better than a vision? A cause. *
What's better than a long speech? Definitely, a short one.
Thank you and congratulations, UP Diliman graduating class of 2003.

Trust/Mistrust/Hypocritical Notions.

I now know the feeling of having your family talk behind your back.

Sometimes it sucks when they don't trust you enough to do the right thing.

Sometimes the feeling of doing good just isn't good enough.

Sometimes you just don't know what position to put yourself into.

Sometimes you just don't know how to act.

In some ways, I deserve it.

In some ways, I feel like I don't deserve it.

But they're family. I can't live without them. They're my go-to people when I'm in trouble.

So, I just have to live with it.

---

I've never felt so much motivation in my life.

One, I have been mistrusted.
Two, I was somewhat pressured
Three, Passing just makes me want to be happy
Four, I just want to be motivated.

I think the mistrust got stuck in my head now. The words that I heard from yesterday just wounded my heart so bad. Pati pala sa family, talking behind each others back is a common thing. Hmm.. I guess, I do it to. I also talk behind their backs. I guess this is the consequence for that. This is sad. Even family's talk behind each other's back. I thought only friends do that.

Blah.

it sucks when you're on your own when a problem strikes you down.

it sucks even more when that problem strikes you down when you're in a middle of a stressful situation.

is this God's way of seeing how resilient I am?

I guess so.

is this His way of wanting to know how much faith I have in Him?

I guess so.

God, don't leave me behind. I need you right now. I give the problem and the stress to you. I know that you won't leave me hanging.

random crap that i will edit later today

I'm thinking about deleting this blog.

Because I want to make room for a photoblog.

i'm hyper

kahit wala, masaya pa rin ako.
ok lang.. protected naman ako e.. natuto na.
masaya ako. sana lang hindi maging over over.

She wants to move

It's funny how I always feel helpless whenever I feel like I'm not doing a good job in keeping up with the pressures of school. It's funny that I always feel not good enough for this university whenever I feel like I'm going to fail. It's funny that I always feel like I want to give up whenever I can't seem to focus on studying. It's funny how I can't seem to find the right inspiration that will help me to not screw up.

I've enumerated a number of inspirations before --- my nieces and nephew, my relatives who died of cancer, that one person, my parents. But I can't seem to internalize the way that they can inspire me.

It's funny how I find it hard to study in college, when in high school I studied like a mad scientist. How is the studying of a high school student different from college? Is it because in high school, everything was spoon-fed to you, while in college somehow everything was spoon fed to you and it's just up to you to do the rest of the spoon-feeding?

Anyway, my birthday's coming up. HEHE. It's funny because before I don't seem so excited about it, now, it's all I can think about. Probably because I'm entering the 20s. hahaha.. what's so significant about that right? hehehe.. But I guess what's different now, is that I am excited about it, but I don't feel like celebrating it. Before, my family use to go out to celebrate birthdays, now I don't really feel like doing that. I just want to stay home, cook for it, eat and go on with the rest of my duties. I guess now, what's more important to me is celebrating it at home with the family with a bunch of food that we either cooked or bought at the store. Plus, it's less expensive that way. Restaurants are expensive, cooking food at home, not expensive.

i'm scared

i'm scared. i'm really scared of what is and what will be.

i'm scared of false things.

i'm scared of being burned.

i'm really scared right now.

stress is getting the best out of me

i got slammed with a lot of work this weekend and to top it all off, i had to attend a friend's birthday party last friday.

i didn't get to finish all of the work that I was suppose to do.

physics killed me by 9pm last night. it's funny because i've been working on that homework for the past week and still i didn't get the chance to finish it.

english midterm today. why does english have to have midterms anyway?

math. well math's good to me. i have hw due on wednesday.

fafsa. DAMN IT! The most easiest job in the world and still i can't manage to finish it last weekend.

WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?

i use to thrive in stressful situations. you know, with the pressure mounting up on me and all. but last night, i just could not take it anymore. i just had to leave it all behind and sleep it off. the heck is wrong with me.

i cannot fail again. i think i can't take it if i fail again.

i got my money on this..

My sister and her husband, as well as my mother, will be going back to the PI this spring to visit my other sister, my brother and my dad. They're going home because they're gonna try to hold a wedding for my brother at a church and to visit my new nephew.

It sucks because I can't really go with them because of school and well, I don't really want to go with them. But hearing where they're gonna go during the span of three weeks makes me want to go. They were saying that they were gonna go travel around. They say that they might go to Pagudpud Beach in Ilocos Norte. They say that they might go to one of the beaches in Batangas. They say that they might go to Mindoro. They say that they might go to Baguio.

Oh, for crying out loud.

That's like 1GB worth of photos for me. The sceneries.. the people.. my nieces and nephew.. my family.. the sun.. the heat.. DAMN IT! WHY WHY WHY... Kill me now before I do myself. I can't believe I'm missing that kind of photo adventure. That's a lot of places for me to cover and a lot of people for me to cover as well. Photojournalism + Nature Tripping + Candid Portraits + WHAT ELSE???

ARGGHHHH...

It's so sad because I'm the only one who's not going to be there. That's like the first family reunion we'll have since my sister's wedding back in 2000. WOW. HAHAHA.. I'm such a party pooper. But, blame it on school. I really don't want to miss a quarter and not be able to graduate on time.

THE PICTUREEES!!! WAAAHHH.. That makes me so sad.. HAHAHAHA..

Oh well.. TOUGH.

I guess I just have to be happy with the spring here in Seattle.

"cause i'm learning to breathe"

photo-related

I think I'm doing better with my photojournalism pictures. I think. Well, some of the photos that I've taken are pretty bland compared to the other photoj's pictures. But yeah, I think I'm getting better at it. I hope that the editor comments on something. I just need to know on what to improve on.

I've come a long way -- from being a photo-shy person that I am to becoming someone who actually loves taking photos. I'm really excited where this fondness will take me. I just hope that it takes me to a place that I will love and be happy with.

I haven't really taken any new pictures lately. No inspiration yet. No one's striking me with it. Nothing's striking me with it. I don't know.

Oh yeah, I updated my Flickr photopage, so go check it out.

And ahhh.. I got a photograph published on the front page of the university's student paper. I'll upload that issue SOON. I just don't have time right now to do it.

long distance friendship

I haven't talked to my two friends back in the PI. GAHH.. I miss them. It's funny because during my first two years here, I always call them every week. Now it's just once a month or not call them at all. I guess we're all busy with our lives now. They're preparing for their senior year , their "thesis" year, while me, I'm trying to still cope up with university stuff. I haven't heard a single story from them yet. No news. I wish I can go home this spring. Oh well. I just wish that we won't totally forget about each other.

"no communication does not mean an end to a friendship."

a birthday wishlist

.... so this was the Christmas wishlist that I posted way back in December of last year:

1) $$$ towards Europe trip

2) Digital SLR - I have no idea what I kind want yet, but I want one.

4) To start being a positive thinker.

5) SOMEONE, ANYONE, to go on a food trip with me.

6) Talk to someone that I haven't talk to in a long time over a cup of joe.

10) World Peace... and I ain't joking here.

I got four of them granted (notice the missing numbers) last Christmas. So anybody wanna grant this remaining six on my birthday? =)

adding two more...

11) A HUSKY dog.. the grey or the brown one.. suree.. stuff toy counts too if the actual dog is too expensive.. LOL.

12) Lacie 160GB Firewire External HD

"and you asked me what I want this year"

it's not how fast you get to the finish line but how you tried to get there and how you learned from experiences. sometimes it's not all about who finishes first or last. it's about taking things slowly one step at a time and working on things slowly but surely and actually learning while you're at it. - taken from Gail

What a slap in the head for me. She's right. It doesn't matter how fast you finish something, what matters is how you got to finish it and how you actually worked your way there.

It's funny because this quote applies to my life these days. I've been so crammed up that I just wanted to get my homeworks done. DONE, meaning just DONE. I didn't really care how I answer the questions or if I understand the question at all. I didn't really care if I understand the solutions and the concepts. I just wanted it to be over with so I can get to the next thing that I have to do.

It's funny how a person, practically a stranger, have given me something to ponder upon again. I think it takes only one stranger (or two) for me to realize how shallow I can become. My friends are NO HELP! HAHAHA.. Kidding.

Yesterday, I was complaining, while watching the news, about howcome we don't have any sunbreaks during the week. My sister told me, "Liane, it's Seattle, aren't you used to it yet?". True. IT IS SEATTLE. Seattle won't be SEATTLE if it's not raining. I am used to it already, I'm just got fed up with it yesterday. LOL. I want just one day without rain. HAA.. I HAVE TO BE SATISFIED WITH WHAT IS AND STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT WHAT IS NOT. Anyway, the rain is good, it makes me work. Just last night I sort of, finished my Inferno book (finished it, but not totally understood it. OH YEAH.). I did that because for one I have to finish it by today and well, I got inspired by the pouring rain.

-0-

I have a twisted sense of logic. Earlier, I've been thinking about some stuff that scares me. There's this one thing that just started to scare me, and I guess IT scared me because I got burned from it before and I THINK I'm going through IT again so I guess I kind of started to think about it again and then I went on and on rationalizing it in my ahead, or at least I think that I was rationalizing about it. I guess sometimes I tend to get my whole logical thinking twisted (haha, look at what I've inherited from my mom). UGH, I just hate superficial, mundane and shallow matters. I don't know why I let them get to me.

-0-

~ I bought a book (out of impulse.ugh) yesterday. It's called In Her Shoes and it's written by Jennifer Weiner. And yes, it is the book that got turned into a movie. I was suppose to borrow it from the library, but since I'm so lazy and so impulsive, I just had to buy it.

~ Been listening to a lot of slow jams (aka. R and B) sounds lately, mostly old sounds. Something influenced me. HAHA. Or maybe alternative rock is being washed out of my system by the slow jams. EK. See that scares me because most of the slow jams that I listen to are sentimental/cheesy.

~ I am so jealous with one of my co-workers at the newspaper. She got the chance to shoot Hillary Clinton's press conference at the Seattle Biodiesel. I'm so jealous!! I couldn't take the assignment because I had to take care of stuff at the house. MEN. A once in a lifetime event. But, oh well. There will always be a next time for something great, right?

~ I've been writing lesser these days. I think that maybe the reason why I sometimes tend to sound stupid in some conversations that I have had with friends. Grammatically speaking, I'm really off. I just don't have the drive to write. I think it all went to taking pictures.

~ I have some back-log entries to post. The reason why I haven't posted them yet is because they're photo-related, have to scan/upload some of the photos that I have to incorporate with them. But I'll post them when I get the drive to scan. LOL.


Have a nice week y'all. Enjoy the rain!


UPDATE: 11:30 AM

Not good to start the week by being pissed off. I got published again today and when I saw how the photos were presented, it was just... UGH.

because I'm a big XMEN fan

X-MEN 3

MAY 26, 2006

TRAILER

OH YEAAHH!!! OHH YEAAHH!!! HECCKK YEAAHH!! I'M EXCITED!! BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR 2 YEARS!!

Bluer than Blue

PISCES:

Have you been accused of living in a dream world, Pisces? That’s not entirely true; you only see aspects of reality that others can’t. But this year you’ll discover a practical, businesslike streak in you that will enable you to face mundane matters with determination and confidence that you never knew you had. This doesn’t mean that your romantic, mystical, artistic side will go down the tubes. In fact, facing both romance and creativity with a more practical viewpoint could well improve both – and thus make the Fish VERY happy! You’ll be glowing with love, appearing more attractive. People will become more aware of you and whatever work you do – thus increasing your standing in all worlds. The key word here is, of course, balance.

AHAHAHAHAHA...

Now if I were to believe this crap ---- I would definitely be excited about FACING CREATIVITY WITH A MORE PRACTICAL VIEWPOINT and PEOPLE BEING AWARE OF WHATEVER WORK I DO. Not really believing the looveee stuff, but that's just me being a cynical byatch.

Check out this link if you're curious as to what 2006 holds for your sign.

----

PROJECT(s)!

I have several photography projects in mind that I want to do this year. There's quite a lot that I'm thinking about and I actually want to deviate myself from that because it's making me insane! So, I lined up these projects that I want to do AND finish by the end of this year. I'm following my English 211 lesson:

"don't dwell too much on your problems, if you do it will make you go crazy. do something for yourself. do something that will make your time worthwhile. do something that will make you forget about your problem. true enough, the problem won't go away, but at least you did something else, instead of dwelling on it."

1) Archive 2005 artsy fartsy photographs in my newly purchased photograph scrapbook from Papyrus. (***)

2) Archive ALL my photographs in photo albums. (***)

3) But, before I do (2), I must purchase CHEAP, yet, artsy photo albums to put my photographs in.

4) But, before I do (1), (2) and (3), I must print out all the photos I have in my laptop, because they're eating up a lot of space in my computer.

5) But, before I do (4), I must pick which photos I want to print out.

6) I have to start being "intimate" with my digital camera. I must know what else it can do. I must know and master all its functions. I must go beyond using the AV mode. I must start using the MANUAL and TV mode. I must start learning how to take artsy photos using the flash. (***)

6) Start taking pictures for 2006 photographs. They must have a theme. Must follow the motto "START SOMETHING PHOTOGRAPHIC". They must be PORTFOLIO worthy. (***)

The ones with (***) are the MUST ACCOMPLISH BY THE END OF THIS YEAR.

A Preview of early 2006 photos:


Meet my coffee cup, Grumpy. He has been dubbed as the "perfect coffee cup" by a Starbucks barista. I'm quite proud of him. Located at the back is my English packet and my pen/pencil case and a tiny part of my iPod, these three have been my best friends ever since school started. Don't know what I would do without them.

I will have more for you next week. I'm pretty swamp with school right now. Dante and differentials and two dimensions are grilling my brain.

Have a good weekend y'all!

Moving On.

Lola Loleng,

I am lucky to have met you. I am lucky that even for just a while, I got to know who you are. You're one of the coolest lola I've ever known. Now you've moved on to a better life. You are now with Lola Chita and Lola Tentay, your sisters. May you guys enjoy the feast that God prepared for you up there.

I'm gonna miss you Lola.

an interpretation, a survey, and a quote.

"Im captivated by someone's thoughtfulness and kindness to me, but I would'nt go as far as saying, I like him, as in, I want him to be my future significant other. So in real life, No."

- my friend, Sarah

YEAAHHH.... what she said.. I agree with her.

I guess my own interpretation of liking someone is that you like someone just because they have certain qualities that makes you like him or her (ok, fine I have no other words to describe it, so sue me), but of course, not to the point that you want to marry this person.

Wait.. that's how Sarah interpreted it, so I guess it's her interpretation, only I paraphrased it into my own words.

and because I'm killing time:

1. Honestly, where are you now?

I'm at a school library

2. Honestly, have you ever failed a subject in high school?

ahhh.. i don't think i did.. college yes.. hehehe..

3. Honestly, what’s on your mind?

A lot. too much stuff to mention

4. Honestly, what is it that you really should be doing right now?

Eat lunch and finish my Physics homework that's due on Monday.

5. Honestly, have you brushed your teeth today?

Yes, I did

6. Honestly, who are your best buddies in the world?

ahhh... there's a lot.. hehehe.. but i currently have 3 that are the best of the best..

7. Honestly, are you a good friend?

I think I am.... sometimes.. hehehe..

8. Honestly, do you think school is important?

DEFINITELY.

9. Honestly, what are your dreams mostly about?

Helping save people's lives.

10. Honestly, who/what makes you happy most of the time?

Music. Curly. Lounging around.

11. Honestly, what hobbies do you have?

Listening to music. Surfing. Photography.

12. Honestly, what song are you listening to?

I'm currently liking slow R and B songs lately. HMMM..

13. Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment?

My two nieces.. and yeah, my sister.. and sure my brother too.

14. Honestly, do you have a deadly disease?

NO.

15. Honestly, do you hate someone right now?

nope.

16. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?

ummm.. my mogu pillow.

17. Honestly, are you bored?

no.. just felt like doing this..

18. Honestly, who do you want to slap right now?

no one..

19. Honestly, do you like someone right now?

I like a stranger who cares for my umm.. well being?

20. Honestly, are you single?

Yes.

21 Honestly, does anyone like you?

of course.. i hope so.. or else i'm in trouble..

and because English 211 is soooo interesting:

"don't dwell too much on your problems, if you do it will make you go crazy. do something for yourself. do something that will make your time worthwhile. do something that will make you forget about your problem. true enough, the problem won't go away, but at least you did something else, instead of dwelling on it."

English 211 is REALLY getting on my nerves

English 211
The Supernatural and the Magical in Medieval & Renaissance Literature

I registered for this class with the idea of me learning about Medieval and Renaissance Lit that has something to do with the supernatural world (and because supernatural facts sort of amuses me). But, as I am reading through the course packet that the instructor made us buy --- may I repeat, for $27 --- I was a bit irked by the first 5 stories that I've read in it. Their theme was mostly about LOVE. ICK.

Today, I just got finished reading the first quarter of "Yvain" by Chretien de Troyes (pronounced in a "French" manner) and to be frank, and also exaggerated, I was about to throw up as I was reading the last few bits of that reading.

"For a person in love is ill at ease and never able to sleep soundly, but all night long counts up and reckons the days as they come and go. Do you know how lovers behave? They keep account of the time and season."

Here's another one..

"Those who truly love don't steal hearts away, though they are called thieves by some who go about practising decit in love without knowing anything at all about it. The lover takes his beloved's heart in a way that is not thef: rather he guards it from being stolen from her by thieves in the guise of honest men. These are hypocritical thieves and traitors, competing in the theft of hearts to which they are indifferent; but the loveer, wherever he may go, treasures the heart and brings it back again"

and another...

"for there is no lover who is not imprisoned: she is right to call him a prisoner, since anyone who loves is truly in prison"

Oh good gosh. What is so supernatural about that? Magical it is, but what is supernatural about it?

IS this God's way of telling me not to be too cynical about ♥ issues? Is this His way of telling me that I should learn to open up to what the true meaning of Love is? Is this His way of telling me that Love is not all about pretentions and superficiality?

God, Is this your way? Is this class your way?

Hmm.. I think I'm gonna find out the answer to that question at the end of this quarter.

I'm officially a Chemistry Major now. By the time that I'm finished, I shall have a BS in Chemistry (ACS Certified) degree on my belt. Whoopee!!

My goal for the rest of my college career: I WILL GRADUATE WITH A DEGREE IN CHEMISTRY... and there is no way that I'm gonna let hardships and challenges screw that goal up. I have God on my side. What more can I ask for?

I'm just reflecting.

"To succeed you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you."

-- Tony Dorsett

"something to hold on to"

I'm going to school because I want to get an education that will help me help the people who are finding a cure for cancer. I "hold on to" the memory of my Mom's mom, my dad's sister and brother, my brother-in-law's nephew who died at a very early age, and to the others who are suffering and died because of the big C. I "hold on to" their memories because they are the ones that can help me succeed in my education.

"something to motivate you"

Babies, little kids, or to be more specific, MY TWO NIECES. I'm motivated to learn because of them. I don't see them as much but I hear stories of how inquisitive and how smart they are becoming. Their stories are the ones that motivate me to learn. Their stories are the ones that motivate me to learn not because I want a good grade, but to learn because I WANT TO LEARN.

"something to inspire you"

It is very rare for me to have a guy care about my studies. I had the opportunity to have one and that inspired me to study harder.

BAHH!!

I have a need to vent something out because if I don't I would probably go crazy this whole quarter. I want to start this quarter with a clean slate, with no extra baggages from the break hanging around.

----

I know I'm cynical. But I guess I'm like that because I've experienced way too much things that disappointed me.

I know that one of my Christmas wish is to be more of a positive thinker. But I can't help to be a pessimist when it comes to some matters in life.

I HATE EXPECTING.

Why is it that when you do take a risk, you feel like it is not being credited that much?

Why is it that when you don't take a risk, you feel that it is being credited that much?

----

I have this huge thing that I'm carrying that I don't know how to get rid of. Well, I guess I'm really lucky because the quarter is starting so I'm gonna be pretty busy and not think about that thing. I HOPE.

NAKAKAINIS!!!! GRRRRR... I wish I wish that I could vent out more stuff..

BAAAHHH!!! This is such a good way to start this year.

*** I started out 2006 by practicing to become an overanalyzer. Thank you very much. ***

PAK DIS S**T!!!!

update @ 11:19am :

i just realized how bad of a writer i am when i'm frustrated... wahahahahhaha... just read the stuff that i've written in this entry and you'll know what i mean.. hehehehe..

first day of school is today. had my first class at 9:30. an english class that focuses on medieval and renaissance literature. professor seems pretty nice and kind of funny. i bought her class packet today at the copy center. $27!!! good gosh.. i have not paid that much for a course packet.. it's more expensive than the book for that class... thank God i brought money with me today.

anyway, at this hour, i'm suppose to be going to my adviser's office to ask her to change my major from biochem to chemistry. but, the lazy bug hit me cause umm.. well the building's kinda far from where i am and ummm.. it's raining out.. and umm.. it's cold.. hehehe.. so i'll do it tomorrow (or maybe after my physics class).. I SHALL TRY TO BE MORE DILIGENT STARTING TOMORROW.. hahahahahha..

i have a 3 hr break in between classes today.. i have my physics class at 1:30.. hahahahaha.. niceee.. hehehe.. i have no lunch money anymore.. the packet ate it all... grrr.. ho hum..

so i told God about my frustrations this morning (i actually woke up right before my alarms went off). talking to Him made me feel much better. i ahhh.. confessed to Him everything that i'm trying to hold back... so right now.. i'm just ok. getting better at brushing things off (i think)... doing stuff that keeps me busy actually keeps me sane and less frustrated.

hmmmm.... ok.. imma go try to read my $27 course packet now..

BYE BYE 2005

YEAR-END SURVEY

What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

hahaha.. it's a secret.. for my own knowledge only.

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't really keep New Year's resolutions because I don't end up fulfilling them anyway. It's mostly goals that I keep.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

My brother's wife. I'm not really close to her because I don't know her, but I'm close to my brother.

Did anyone close to you die?

none that I know of.

What countries did you visit?

GAAHHH.. none.. we were suppose to visit Canada... buuuttt.. ho weelllll..

What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?

Independence.

What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

dum dum dum... i have none... or i can't remember any.. damn you short term memory!!!

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting into a hard-to-get-in school.

What was your biggest failure?

failing to realize how different a university is from a college.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

injury... glasses falling all over me.

What was the best thing you bought?

my iBook.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

my sister. she's less irritating.. waitt.. no.. she still is.. pero mas mabait na sya sakin ngayon..wahahahaha...

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

hahahaha.. too much people to mention.

Where did most of your money go?

food

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

There were lots. Probably the most the I got excited about was getting into the UW.

What song(s) will always remind you of 2005?

Don't Cha by Pussycat Dolls
Blind by Lifehouse
You and Me by Lifehouse
Collide by Howie Day

Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? -- I dunno.. I'm just different from last year.. that's all
ii. thinner or fatter? -- Thinner, I think
iii. richer or poorer? -- somewhere in between

What do you wish you'd done more?

socialize and studied harder

What do you wish you'd done less of?

slack off... waste my time doing nothing

How many one-night stands?

None.

What was your favorite TV program?

One Tree Hill, Related, Charmed

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

NADA.

What was the best book you read?

Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. It's actually the only book I read this year.. beside by textbooks that is.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Indie music baby!! Death Cab for Cutie!! The Pale!! Aqualung!!! and many many more..

What did you want and get?

chocolates =)

What was your favorite film of this year?

ahhhhhh... i dunno.. i forgot the movies that I watched.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went to school. hahahaha.. I turned 19.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

nothing.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?

more of a mix ... rocker chick/surfer chick/sloppy chick/bohemian.. there's a lot.. i don't really have a concept...

What kept you sane?

computer.. Curly..sleeping

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

no one.. i don't follow celebs that much na.

Who did you miss?

my uber sexy friends sa Pinas

Who was the best new person you met?

There's a lot.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:

1) There's nothing wrong with failing.
2) When you get rejected, pick up your ego and move on with your life.

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:

That I'm smart. I've been hearing it from my parents and friends, but hearing it from a not so close person to me, is nice..

That I would've been admitted to that school if I didn't have the abilities to survive that school. (This was from a friend who just made me smile when I was feeling down on my first midterm grade in Biochem.)

the most touching experience you've had this year?

BLaaahhh.. ummmm.. i dunno..

What did you like most about yourself this year?

I guess.. when i'm honest to people...

What did you hate most about yourself this year?

my lack of happy disposition

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"Say goodnight, and go" -- imogen heap

Was 2005 a good year for you?

Good year.. so many ups and downs.. but the ups outweighed the downs..

What was your favorite moment of the year?

Summer baby..

What was your least favorite moment of the year?

dramas.

Where were you when 2005 began?

Seattle.

Who were you with?

parents and curly

Where will you be when 2005 ends?

at my aunt's house

Who will you be with when 2005 ends?

family

Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?

nope.. more of like a goal: TO STUDY EFFICIENTLY AND PROACTIVELY

What was your favorite month of 2005?

June, July, August and September. and December of course.

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?

Nope.. because i don't own people

Did you miss anybody in the past year?

Of course i did.

What was your favorite record from 2005?

Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business, Lifehouse - Lifehouse,

How many concerts did you see in 2005?

1 -- Gwen Stefani

Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2005?

NOPE

do a lot of drugs in 2005?

No...

you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

ahhh.. i dunno.. i think..

How much money did you spend in 2005?

no clue

What was your proudest moment of 2005?

getting into UW

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?

ahahahahhahaha.. sakin na lang yun!

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?

studied harder

What are your plans for 2006?

school, summer school, work, exchange program

How are you different now that the year has ended?

I'm not sweating the small stuff anymore,

What are your wishes for the new year?

Be closer to the ONE who created me

My 2005 Song (ARTE!)

Gravity Gets Things Done
The Pale

You are the girl with the smiles and gravity
and gravity gets things done
you're always up and you're always down
but you make it look so fun
And you want them to see
and you want them to know
but they never find the real you
you never once complained
but now twenty years are gone
and you're ready to explode
I will wait here, darlin'
to make sure you are okay
I will wait here, darlin'
for you
I am the one who can solve all your problems
a savior with only you to save
and that's why I'm here at least I tell myself that
the motivation becomes so blurred
And you want me to see
and you want me to know
but I never find the real you
you're buried just beneath the surface
and you're ready to explode
I will wait here, darlin'
to make sure you are okay
I will wait here, darlin'
for you
I will wait here, darlin'
to make sure you are okay
I will wait here, darlin'
for you
I will wait here, darlin'
to make sure you are okay
I will wait here, darlin'
for you
for you
You are the girl with the smiles and gravity
and gravity gets things done
you never once complained
but now twenty years are gone
and you're ready to explode

My Christmas THIS YEAR

1. i realized how much of a hero my aunt is because she raised 3 kids in a foreign country all by herself.



2. i realized the true meaning of giving because of what my sister gave to me this year.



3. i felt Christmas on Christmas day itself.


4. my sister made me wear her 3 inch heel boots because her foot was so sore from it. she had an accident (fell down the stairs) two weeks ago, so she can't really flaunt her stuff for a long period of time.

5. Christmas humbled me this year.

MORE PICTURES

A Rare Picture of Kuya Eric and Me

Me and my brother-in-law sleeping after eating and camera whoring..