Lapit Mga Kaibigan.. At Makinig Kayo..

I haven't found a way to get back my slightly neurotic self yet. However, I have found ways to make myself pose a genuine smile to people.

I have realized what was bothering me. Actually, a stranger made me realize it, my organic chemistry classmate to be exact. Talking to her about our life struggles made me realize how high of standards I pose on myself; how I treated every aspect in my life so seriously. For example, my educational career at the moment, I psyched myself up to do better this quarter. I told myself that I did not want to repeat the conundrum that I experienced last fall quarter. Setting high standards on myself has caused me a few setbacks. I became wayyyy too distracted on "certain" things or should I say on a "certain" person. I didn't know how to handle such distraction, therefore, it caused a serious damage in my brain. I paid so much attention to it that instead of thinking and analyzing my schoolwork, I overanalyzed and thought so much about such distraction.

Fortunately, I have come to my senses, thanks to God, who sent me a message through a person I hardly knew.

I'm currently on the road to self-healing. I still have bad moments, but who doesn't have those? I'm glad that I have friends and family to support me. I'm glad God gave me a family and quite a handful of friends.

And as for my distraction, "he" became an inspiration.

What's New in Neuroticville?

1. I AM NOW A LICENSED DRIVER. WOOOOHOOOO!!!

2. I DECIDED THAT I'M GOING TO MAKE "HIM" AS AN INSPIRATION RATHER THAN A "CATCH" THAT I WANT TO..... CATCH. --- He inspires me so much that I think God gave him to me to inspire me during times of stress and sadness.

3. Last Friday was a very very happy day for me. I passed my drive test, I finally had a breather from the reviewing I did for my courses and my 'catch' just inspired me a lot that day.

HAAAAA... Life.. sometimes you gotta hate it and MANY times you gotta love it.

I am a very inspired woman right now. I hope it doesn't go away.

Have a good week y'all!

it's close, but not that close.

it has been a while since i've written a close to interesting entry in this blog. i must admit that i've been toying around with my previous entries, writing about non-sensible crappas. i haven't been able to get a clear view of what's in my head these past days, which is the main reason for all the non-sensible entries you have read by the way. i'm in the dumps right now and i have no idea why. it must be the stress and the pressure that i'm feeling or maybe it's something else, something else that i don't know.

but however crappy the days have been for me, i have always managed to keep a smile on my face. a smile that can keep me from looking insane in front of people.

i promise, i will write something positive and cheery once i get the inspiration back.

have a good week y'all.

MOMENTS ...

This picture alleviates the stress and the pressure that I'm always under.




It reminds me that it's good to be silly kid sometimes.

That's my niece by the way.

Sometimes . . .

Doing the RIGHT thing can affect your emotions and your thinking in a debilitating way....


..... But the RIGHT thing is always the BEST thing in GOD's eyes.

Questions that seem unanswerable.

Why do people tend to overanalyze simple events or situations that happen in their lives?

Why do people always go for things that are out of their reach?

Why can't people be contented with what they have?

Why are some things in life hard to accept?


This post may be meaningless to you, but the questions it contain means a lot to me.

The Meaning Of This Song (UPDATED)

Falling
by Keahiwai

I wanna tell you baby
That you're the one that Im thinking of
But your heart is still with her
And I think she's the one that you love
I only want you happy
Even if it's not with me
Maybe one day
You'll open up your eyes and you'll see

[Chorus]
That I think I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think I'm falling
Baby I'm falling for you

[Verse 2]
From the first time
You laid your lips on mine
It feels like the smile on my face
Will last till the end of time
But Im not so sure
If you're the one that I should pursue
My mind tells me no
But my heart only says that it's you

[Chorus]

Bridge:
Only time will tell
The mystery has yet to unfold
Who's gonna feel love's warmth
And the other left in the cold

Yet still I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think I'm falling
Baby I'm falling for you
That I think I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think Im falling

[Chorus]

Baby I'm falling for you

Update: (January 15, 3:37 pm)

I've been very weird these past few days. I'm listening to sentimental songs, again. I banned myself from playing sentimental songs on my playlists a long time ago. I got sick of listening to them because I get sad or mushy or moody whenever I start listening to one. Now, I'm back to them. I'm also having a hard time getting used to certain things, in short, I'm having a hard time in taking some things in a less serious manner.

Life... IT CAN get complicated. Thank God I have my family and my friends to make it a little less complicated.

For the people who knows what I'm going through right now:

Thanks for the advices and the act of knocking my head into reality. Thanks for putting up with my annoying "seriousness" about certain situations and thanks for still being there for me even though I somehow annoyed some part of you.

GAIL and SARAH :: For telling me to guard my heart.

LENN, JENN, and CESS (mabasa sana nila 'to) :: For telling me to not take things seriously and for giving me a dose of reality.

Can you say, SNOW?

WEEEEEE!!!!!!

UPDATE (9:06 pm):

I stood up from bed today and I saw the white environment outside my room's window. I got so excited that I got up fast and run outside to see how our front yard looked. ALL WHITE. I was so giddy about it that I took these pictures without even thinking about the 9am mass we were going to attend.

Now, at this hour, the snow has melted. Well, some were left, but tomorrow I bet that that would also be gone.

Sayang, kala ko pa naman din maglast hanggang bukas, wala sanang pasok! har har har..

Hassled or Frazzled?

On my way home today, I was contemplating on what to write about in this blog. However, my mind was full of new tools, newly learned stuff, 1st week hassles of a college quarter, and believe it or not, work ethics. So I dismissed the thought and went on thinking of what I could possible do that would make this evening productive. But when I arrived at the house, the writing or should I say, the ranting BUG hit me.

When I arrived home, my mom related to me that my sister Lee, will not be able to send the CSI (Christian School International) transcripts (c/o my sister Leah, who will be coming back to Seattle this Sunday) that I requested for her to get. They were high school transcipts that I need to be able to complete my transfer applications. In the act of being curious on why such issue happened, I decided to call our PI house to know exactly what went on. My sister Leah answered the phone, I asked her what happened with the transcript thing and she said: "ano ka ba? we can't do it, we've been pretty busy, tapos nagkasakit pa si Kuya Ice mo, tapos wala pang magaalaga sa mga bata, and wala pang sasakyan".

I could understand the part where my bro-in-law got sick and my nieces having no baby sitter around to look after them, but the part of not being able to have any ride to use to go to Los Banos, just ticks me off. There are a ton of jeepneys out there that has a route going LB and they don't want to use that? I know they have kids to take care, but I know for a fact that my sister Lee has no problem in taking the kids out for a ride going to Los Banos or to anywhere else for that matter.

On another note, I think I'm being selfish. Yes, lugging two kids around town is a bit of a hassle and it's also not the best idea to have a sick adult go out of a polluted environment. And yes, it's not my place to get all pissed off about this for my sister Lee, have requested things to me that I haven't fulfilled. So yes, it is not my place to get all pissed off about this.

I guess I'm just hassled right now because the UW application is due in a month and I haven't completed half of the requirements yet.

YES, I know, I'm a PROCRASTINATOR and I'm a SELFISH B. 'Nuff said.

I'm gonna go and study Organic Chemistry now.

so near, yet, so far away.

Do you know the feeling of wanting something so much but you can't have it?

I know that feeling. It kills your guts. It kills your brain. It kills the chemical hormones that are known to be excreted when you are wanting something so much.

I maybe out of context here, but I think that's the way the brain reacts to feelings that are beyond your control.

Have a good year y'all.

woo hoo.

Do you know a great way to start a new year? I can think of a few.

1. Spend it without your siblings.

2. Tell your friend that you have a crush on her crush too.

3. Be stupid enough to have one pet kill another pet.

4. Kill your aunt's pet. (this is connected to #3)

These are such great ways to start off this year with.

But, may I suggest to everyone else to start it off with other BETTER ways.