:(

I feel like I'm cursed in lab class right now. IT doesn't seem to miss one class where I don't make any mistakes, miscalculations or putting the wrong reagent in the mixture.

GAAAHH..

ok.. so i know I'm not suppose to think this way about this lab. i have to stay positive.

then again, how can one stay positive amidst all the stupidness and retardation that one is feeling everytime she is in the class?

GAAAHHH!!!

WE have a TREE!!

(me opening the front door of our house) ...

Aunt: "Oh! We have a tree in our house!"

Me (confused about a woman standing by my mom's bedroom door and my aunt's words) : "We have a Christmas tree already?"

Aunt (laughing): "No!! C'mere and look"

(me walking towards the dining room and seeing this part of the tree inside the house)

Me: "OH... THHHAAATT KIND OF TREE."

HEHEHEHE.. yeah so that was funny to me. But this happened after a windstorm that hit Seattle two weeks ago. Quite fun. Well, not really. IT was quite scary. But on the upside, hot firemen came to our house. yehehehehe.. well one of them is hot, the other two were a bit old already.

i guess when you open up yourself to something that you're usually not, you easily get torn down and be back to the reality that you're not suppose to be who you are usually not.

preppy fashionista

my mythology professor looks like a preppy fashionista. reason being? he's a harvard and yale alumni.. ahem.. i know, i'm biased.. but i have this pre-conceived notion that all people who go to those schools are preppy fashionistas.. don't have anything against them, in fact I admire their sense of style..

in conclusion, i like my mythology professor's sense of style. not all professors dress like him.

spinning in physical and mental state

three days ago, i had a car accident. it was one for the books for me as it was very meaningful albeit the scariness of it. i was driving towards the Veteran's Affairs hospital to finish up my job application there to become a clinical lab assistant, a job description that I liked so much because i get to practice blood drawing.

towards the exit sign, i got into the accident. the car that i was driving spun around.

before i had that accident, i came across interstate morning traffic. it was literally hell for me because i was so tired and so frustrated about the traffic. i begun into thinking if that job was the right job to take while i'm at my situation right now. i was weighing pros and cons, thinking of things to consider, thinking of things that i have to think about even before i make a decision. i was so confused and so dazed that i just prayed to God to give me a sign that tells me not to take the job anymore.

in comes the accident. a sign. a big sign.

my mental state that day was in daze and confused situation, however, the accident alleviated it quite a bit. although, i was traumatized i feel like that day was a big lesson for me that i for sure will remember for the rest of my life. i've learned a lot of things and one of those was to thank God for being there for me always.

if i would've taken that job, i would've been in a spin state. my head would be all clouded from all information from school and be tired from all the stresses of travelling back and forth from the hospitals and from selling my ass off in my retail job.

i'm graduating in 6 months. 6 freaking months. i'm panicked and i'm excited.

before i graduate, i want to make the grade. but in order for me to do that i have to make school as my #1 priority.

i have to make sacrifices in order to survive and be rewarded graciously.

to friends whom i don't see or talk to anymore, thanks for staying as my friend.
to family, thanks for being there for me and understanding.
to a guy who cares much, thank you for always believing.

Tibetan Personality Test

I ordered these 5 animals in preference:

horse - FAMILY
sheep - LOVE
cow - CAREER
pig - MONEY
tiger - PRIDE

I described these 5 in one word:

dog is playful - describes my personality
a cat is relaxed - describes the one that I am in a relationship with.
rat is dirty - describes my enemies (nyahahahaha.. )
coffee is yummy - describes how i see sex
sea is peaceful - what my life is (a.huh.)

I think of important people in my life and associate them with these colors:

yellow - Kuya Ice - I won't forget this person
orange - Ate Leah - she is my true friend
red - Tita Chi - I love this person.
white - Jan Jen - she's my twin soul
Green - Mom - someone that i will remember for the rest of my life

first day of school?!!??

5am - "THE WAY I ARE" by Timbaland wakes me up....

6am - i start walking towards the 185th bus stop. it's foggy and it's dark. OH WHAT FUN.

7am - i hang around Starbucks on 43rd St.

7:30am - BIOCHEM!!! YEYYYY!! Our first professor has an accent. But I keep imagining hitting myself in the head for sitting on the right hand corner of the classroom. So freaking hard to see well.

8:20am - I'm in Odegaard Library right now, writing this. After which, I shall go to the bathroom to release all the water I downed ever since 5:30am this morning.

GOOD MORNING PEEPS!!

The Ladies that I just love to hate

Samantha Brown

Gisele Bundchen

Rachel Ray

Heidi Klum

Travel? Model? Eat tasty foods? Did I mention travel?

I hate them.

VMA

I'm watching the Video Music Awards on MTV and can I just say the following:

BRITNEY. umm.. yeah, she ain't singing on her opening act. her dance moves, hmm.. she looks like she just doing some flimsy hand action.

HAAA.. where did all the fun go with her? Sarah Silvermann said it right, "She's only 25 and she has accomplished everything that she has to accomplish", ie. shave her head and go to rehab and have kids with some guy.

wehehehehe..

Awesome

THE NEW IPHONE, without the phone

everything i need.

There is more to life than material things.

There is more to life than a job that pays you six figures.

There is more to life than worrying about the smallest things.

I read in a magazine about a husband telling his wife not to worry if the car was not starting. He said, "No one is dying or having a heart attack, don't sweat it, we'll fix it". A man who knows his way with words. A man who lives up to the words "don't sweat the small stuff".

Material things are just that. Material. they cannot be immaterial because if they're mass produced, they're basically something that you can buy again if you lose it. I don't know why we very much thrive in a world where materialism seems to be a form of religion already. I admit, most of the time I tend to gravitate towards being materialistic but thankfully I can control myself, by saying to myself that it should not be like that. I should be happy with what I have.

Do I have everything? No. But I have a family that truly cares for my well being. I have great friends who are there for me in times of need no matter where they are and what they are doing. I have an education that has taught me quite a lot over the past years. I have a job that has taught me how to put myself out into the world. I will soon start a job that will help me save the world.

I don't have everything. But I sure have everything that will make me happy.

Since I work as a PT sales in the clothes, I've taken the action or the responsibility to make myself educated on the elements of style. When people ask me about certain questions about what outfit goes with what or what dress they can wear with what, I sometimes find myself in a rut or should i say, I find myself stammering while giving them answers. I guess it's very different to give style/fashion advice to people who you don't know compared to people that you know.

I've been reading up on this books

Before You Put that On by Lloyd Boston
How to be a Budget Fashionista by Kathryn Finney

and I have these books on hold at the library

Style by Kate Spade
A Guide to Elegance by some french woman who I can't spell the name here right now.

I don't know if the education that I'm gaining is helping the women (and men) who come in the store drowned in self confusion about what to wear and what not to wear.

GAAAHHH...

God, please help me give sound advice as well as good persuasion techniques.

for the lack of a better motivation

There is a 50-50 chance that this might be read by one of my family members, but I don't care. I need to vent this out and I need it NOW.

I can't seem to motivate myself in studying for the MCAT. I try my best to study, but all that gets in my head are just the words that I read. Not the MEANING of the words that I read.

I opted out on self-studying for this test because for one, I cannot afford to pay for classes. Plus, those classes bore the heck out of me, hence, me wanting to only self study. I have the materials in my hand. All I need is to purchase the practice tests. So what's up with the lack of motivation?? This summer is actually the best time to study for this test, but nooooo.. FUCK.

I'm so frustrated right now I can't even form words that will make my frustrations go away.

Risk Management and the Photos

STRESS MANAGEMENT

I got a lesson 101 on how to handle a stressful situation yesterday at work. Working in retail will really show you how to handle stress.. good place to work at when you need some practice on stress management..

Here's the scenario:

Credit card swiper wasn't working.. I had three customers who want to pay with credit card.. LUCKILY they were really patient ones.. they ended up just paying with cash.. but i really felt bad making them wait because i really hate it when other people wait out for me, makes me feel guilty especially if they're doing me a favor..

Thank you God for everything that you put me through today and thanks for the lessons.

FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

I got a credit card two days ago. My mom suggested that I get one so I can build up my credit line. It's a good idea actually, but then again, I really have to be careful with it. I'm scared to use it because you know CREDIT, makes you want to use it because it's just there. But I'm making it a point to limit my usage of it, so for the most part of my usage, I am just going to leave it at the house. My main purpose of usage for it is if I am going to make a big purchase. God, please guide me in controlling myself.

I need to use cash from now on when paying for food.

I need to use debit card for everyday needs and sometimes wants. NOT FOR FOOD.

I need to be savvy. Seriously.

PHOTOS FROM THE PHONE

175th light.. on my way to worky.

Northgate Mall Parking Lot. Clear pic

oh.. the sun is shining.. we don't see the sun 3/4 of the year here in seattle

we see this 3/4 of the year here in seattle, droplets of rain on our cars windows (which we had all week last week.)

me and Reymond.

More pictures coming soon. Canada ones.

work and work

my tired feet.

Yet you don't get paid enough.
and sometimes when you f*** it up, you end up paying for it, HELLA BIG TIME.

Hayyy.. I'm feeling the pain of overworking and being underpaid.

I feel sorry for my poor feet. It's been getting hogwashed for 5 days straight.

I understand now what my mom's work entails.
Although it has some perks, I get to see all the sales in the mall each day I work and I get to have first dibs on it. YAWZA! Although it's bad for my pocket. NYAHAHAHaHAHA..

----

I got a new phone. I'm trying it out for 30 days, see if I like it or not.

LG enV

I don't know if I should keep it yet. I only got it for $85 less the $50 rebate that I have to send if I decide to keep it. The $85 consists of the phone, the car charger, a 512 mb memory, a usb card reader, and a bluetooth handset. NOT BAD!

I like the keyboard set up of the phone, a feature that really caught my eye at first. It also has a 2mp camera, which takes nice pictures. I tested it out and it does take great pictures AND if I wanted, I can opt to have the VZ Navigator for 10 bucks per month, a good alternative to 411 that charges 1.50 per call. But then again, come to think of it it's 10 bucks added to my account.. ssooo.. iono..

i shall think about it.. for now, it's play time..

Career/Job

You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)

You're both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination. You were born to be a doctor.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

I don't know how true this meme can be. But anyway despite the many career quizzes that I will be taking I am for sure that I will be working with people who are in need of help. No matter what kind of help.

(1) Retail Sales Associate

- This job requires you to help people who are in desperate need to find something that they either WANT or NEED. This job requires you to have the ability to persuade and at the same time become compassionate and accomodating to the needs of the customers.

(2) Social Worker

- This job needs a higher level characteristic and/or capability to be able to withstand any cases that come their way. It's a highly stressful job because you deal with different types of people on a daily basis. You deal with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abused, the neglected, and the homeless to name a few. It requires a high amount of empathy and sympathy. It requires a high dose of helping hand.

(3) Army/Navy/Marines

- (1) Fighting wars (2) Protecting the country they serve (3) Helping other people get out of a danger zone (3) Making an evil place heaven. Yeah they pretty much would risk their lives to save the ones that they love and the ones who they don't even know.

There are more jobs out there that have the description of HELPING OTHERS under their pocket. I just named these three because they were the ones that stood out to me the most.

I seriously can't see myself working in any other jobs. Business jobs sucks, Research is cool, but it ain't for my learning/emotional capabilities, Fashion is fun but it gets old sometimes, photography is sweet, but it's too expensive for my taste.

I'm rambling. I have a sample sale to go to tomorrow so I should sleep.

Oh mi gosh. Seattle is having sample sales.

Part 2: Questions

I made myself happy today. I made a goal. YAHOO!

More on the QUESTIONS.

A 34 year-old man presents with AIDS and tells you, as his physician, that he does not want to tell his wife. What would you do?

First of all, I will respect the man's wishes, however, I would caution him about the dangers of not telling his wife about his condition such as the following: First of, he should tell his wife because he can also transmit the virus to her if they were having sexual intercourse. If this happens, and the wife knows nothing about his condition, then it would make her furious and betrayed at the same time. If the man still does not change his mind about it, then I will just let his conscience do the undertaking for him as well as for his wife because like i said from the beginning it is his wishes and for me doctors always must respect patient's wishes, but also at the same time be rational about hwo they would respect the patient's wishes.

If you had three magical wishes, what would they be?

(1) I wish that someone will give me enough money to go to any medical school that will accept me.

(2) I wish to become a person who will respect, honor and treat other people with empathy and sympathy.

(3) I wish to pass on the knowledge that I gained through the years that I was living to the next generation after mine.

Part 1: Questions

I am going to start posting a series of questions that I will be answering in the span of two months or so. I got these questions from a book that I am "trying" to read right now. I will be trying to compile these questions after I have answered them all and try to analyze my answers to each one of them to see how logical and truthful I have explained them.

Let's start with these questions:

Should doctors be allowed to "pull the plug" on terminally ill patients?

Unless the family tells them to do it, I don't think that they should. Terminally ill patients are still people, people who MAY still have a chance to live a life despite of being terminally ill. It may be medically impossible to happen but one should just trust in faith and just let it flow through the veins of the patient as well as through the doctor's vein. And if faith lets you down, let it be that the person die of natural death, not because of plug pulled to end his life. I believe that everyone should die in honor and peace, not because of an easy way out from an authority who knows better.

Would you consider a career in your present course of studies?

I would definitely consider a career in Chemistry. However, I wouldn't really pursue it to the point that I would go to graduate school, earn a PhD and write a letter requesting a grant for the research project that I want to undertake. Honestly, I don't see myself working beyond a mere laboratory technologist or research technologist in the Chemistry field. I have thought about this for a long time, imagined myself being one, but it just didn't seem to feel right for me. My feelings have only been compounded when I started to work for Chemistry-based labs and through my observations of what the research techs and scientists do in these labs, which are highly repetitive and far less interesting than medicine, fashion, or even photography. But don't get me wrong, I respect the scientists that are currently working to make this field a better and more interesting than it was. These scientists have worked their brains and their body for Chemistry to serve a better purpose.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

This is quite the tough question to ask. I think, the quality that I would definitely most likely want to change right now is me being TOO SENSITIVE. By me being such, I tend to overreact, take control, blame others around me, take pity upon myself and the list goes on.. when such quality overpowers me. I know that if it does affects me so much that I might consider changing it. I've been trying, I've been trying ever since it was pointed out to me by loved ones. I don't know how much I should be trying but hey, at least I'm trying. I don't know. Maybe I should, because being too overly sensitive can cause me a lot of trouble ESPECIALLY if I am planning on taking a career in the medical field. I think I should learn how to build a tough yet soft skin around me, in order for me to be alright.

What I'm thinking right now.

I have been working at this job in a field that is quite different from where I'm suppose to stand right now. The big thing I like about it is that I get the chance to hone my conversation skills with complete strangers. I am doing this for four months. I can extend it if I would like, but then again it's a different job than labs who understand my school load.

I have been having problems with myself lately. Hormonal imbalance of the month, I presume. Anyway, I just wish that I can sincerely and truthfully think of myself as someone who CAN do it. I am just not cut out for all those negative stuff. As one of my old, but still friend said, "don't be pessimistic, be optimistic". I know it sounds quite reductive, but it does work. When she said it, she said it in a tone of voice that will make you think about it all the time, I mean how else can I remember those words after 4 (or is it 5? 6? 7?) years of talking about it.

To address the question that has been asked of me by two people now, "Why have I not been posting new photos?".

Frankly, I'm lazy. I have lost the edge and the drive to take new pictures. I don't know why but I have. Probably its the camera that I have been using. Probably its because my computer's hard drive broke down on me that's why I'm scared to put new pictures in it. Probably because the last time I did some photo works, I didn't quite get the praise that I would've like to had.

Whatever.

Maybe it will come back, maybe it won't. Right now, I am passion less. Well, not really. I've been eyeing lots of new shoes lately so umm.. yeah, you could imagine how my pocket will burn after I get my hands on those shoes.

Then again, maybe not. I'm suppose to SAVE UP.

satisfying my mundane cravings through writing

i want to buy shoes.

i saw 2 pairs of shoes that i would like to buy from this store. two pairs of strappy sandals for night outs, both for only less than 30.

i also discovered a website where they sell dirt cheap shoes for less than 30. me want to get a lot. damn.. so hard to not have $. oh well..

white pumps
red pumps
silver flats
gold flats

oh the joy. i might be known as the woman who died with her shoes.

SUMMER TIME!!!! YOWZA!

my own self-righteousness.

here's a picture of a friendship that's based on superficial wants and needs.

sdhflksdajheuioprinslakdfhsaduproeiaqkgnsa;gisaflasknfsm vlkjihspafdahhfa;dlfhdas;lfhpsoa87r3q98slakghfps98yfvaksj

never mind.. i ain't posting something.. i remembered that I am beyond being a bitter fool among all of them.

here's to a summer away from all those dramatic fools (hopefully).

(credits to whoever owns this picture, let me know if you are the one... sorry that i forgot your name.)

Finals Week

ugh.

i hate finals week.

:(

i also hate the fact that i can't adjust myself to different types of people personality.

i didn't get the research assistant job.

:'(

life goes on.

Graduation

A group of (I think) graduate students were standing right in front of me earlier trying on their caps and gowns for their graduation this June.

So if I didn't fail that Biochem class last year, I could've graduated this year.

Congrats Graduates!

Interview woes

I had an interview today for a job that I really really really want to have. ARRGGHH.. if only I knew how to express how I really want this job then maybe I could've left a more lasting impression to the interviewer. I feel so dumb. I seriously don't know how to act during an interview. After an interview, I tend to criticize myself for being to quiet, being too timid or being too shy. I hate hate hate those qualities.

I really want this job. I seriously don't care about the amount of money that they will pay me. But why am i ranting here?? I should be saying this to that person.

Sir, if you're reading this, I really really do want this job. I'm sorry for being so timid earlier, but I just did not want to come off as being too aggressive and too informal.

ARGGGHHH!!!

Friends.

it's hard to know what friends mean. i don't know if we're just competing for things that we're not suppose to be competing for or if we're just not meant to be that close at all. life is so hard without knowing who are truly your friends. it's hard to know how to act with people you always hang out with because you don't know if how you're acting generally irritates them or they're just putting up with you just because they don't have no one else to go with.

it's also hard to compete. i know you're not suppose to or it's not about competing at all, but sometimes it just feels that way.

it's also hard to be less selfish because people generally are born that way. Only God is the one with the non-selfish bone in his body.

i dreamt last night about my friends from the Philippines. All of them were here, in Seattle. They came to visit me, but unfortunately, I couldn't hang out with them because I had school and they were only here for one day and at the time that I went home from school, they're all gone. It was a sad dream. I remember one of them hugging me and crying his (take note, it's a guy) eyes out about how much he misses talking and laughing with me. I remember that even for just a little time, we all managed to just catch up with what is going on. It's heartbreaking to have that dream. Somehow, I could just interpret it as me being that guy who's crying his eyes out. IT feels like i am him, although i don't project my emotions out on crying (heelloo, been there done that.. moving onnn.. ).. Anyway, I just can't wait to go back home and just catch up with each and everyone of them. I have one week (or two, hopefully) to do so.

i miss..

lin
lenn
joy
nyo
nat
noel
jamuel
paolo
ron
ivy
heidi
grace e
grace s
pj
ryan
earl

haaayy.. and so much more.

i wish to see them soon.

friends, they bite, they're family, they're bitches and assh****, they're mean, they're tolerable, they're nasty, they're annoying, they're nice, they're forgiving, they're kind, they're generous, they're funny, they're charming, they're supportive, they're your rock.

Bags inspired my Gwenie

This was my first Harajuku Lovers bag.

Hay lab it.

This bags are ridiculously pricey. I think my mom got this on sale at Macy's.










I've never been a fan of Gwen Stefani's clothing line mostly because it was way over the price that I'm willing to pay for. Then when my family (sister and cousin) started buying all this Harajuku Lovers bags all on sale, the green eyed monster caught me. Must be something about the family.
This bag is my second Harajuku Lovers bag. My mom bought it for me. She asked my yesterday if I wanted to own one more of this line, I didn't succumb to it because for one I don't really need it anymore. But when she got it and showed it to me today, I instantly fell in love with this one.

Cute ha?

Notice the shadow frame of this picture. Kinda like this picture was taken with a Holga Camera. Hihi.




I searched through the Harajuku Lovers website today and found this cute tote bag selling for $42. Haayyy.. the price you pay for the things that you only want.

(image courtesy of harajukulovers.com)


I might have to wait on this one.

forgive the all over editing.it's been a while since i tackled HTML.

From StealThatLook Blog:

”One of the most striking differences between a well-dressed American and a well-dressed Parisienne is in the size of their respective wardrobes. The American would probably be astonished by the very limited number of garments hanging from the Frenchwoman’s closet, but she would also be bound to observe that each one is of excellent quality, expensive perhaps by American standards, and perfectly adapted to the life that the Frenchwoman leads…Americans are often shocked by the high prices in the Paris shops, and they wonder how a young career girl, who earns half the salary of her American counterpart can afford to carry an alligator handbag and to wear a suit from the Balmain boutique. The answer is that she buys very few garments; her goal is to possess a single perfect ensemble for each of the different occasions in her life, rather than a wide choice of clothes to suit her every passing mood.” (page 147-148)

It’s not like this is the first time I’ve heard about this. Tito Johnny, my friend Nina’s fabulous uncle and a valued client at Homme et Femme (thanks for letting me use your discount! hahaha!) has long instructed us on the virtues of French women. He said that Parisienne girls never give in to impulse shopping. They really save their salary to be able to purchase the best bag/coat/pair of shoes that their money can buy. You will never see them settling for the next best thing.

Between my mom’s astute observations and Tito Johnny’s impassioned teachings, that’s what I call the wisdom of our elders!

(Style Spy: manilafashionobserver)

So maybe I should embrace that French woman mantra. It makes sense. Buying trends that will be passe in the next few months does not even make any sense, although, I still wear them even if they are pass. So I resolve to follow this ideal. Maybe it will do me good, after all I barely shop anymore (also, I'm flat broke).

I am currently studying for my second midterm in Human Sexuality that will occur in a bout 2 hours time. It covers pregnancy to embryonic development to sexual orientation. I got pretty much interested in the pregnancy and embryonic part. Hopefully, I do good in this exam. Actually scratch that, I know I will do good, you know why? because I started out this day great. The Pchem substitute professor was an awesome teacher, I understood every part of his lectures this whole week (with missing some points, to which I can always read up on the book) and that made me feel good, to actually understand what is going on.

I know I'll do good, I am my own lucky charm.

2 and 3/4 quarters to go.

woes and woos

So i asked a stupid question about Mother's Day dinner or whatever to my aunt yesterday, which made my world kind of whirling around right now.

yeah i didn't mean it that way, i know that it was suppose to be Mother's Day, i just thought that she would since she always cooks something for dinner even if it was a potluck dinner.


whatever.

Grey's 2-hour and Spidey's 2hr20min

Grey's

They're doing this "spin-off" on Addison's character and they started to introduce it through the two hour episode that they had last Thursday. Quite interesting and funny to see all those co-op doctors work and act. Also, I loved the fact that she was reuniting with her med school best friends. It makes for an interesting statement for me, because I want to reunite with my high school friends. Hayyy..

Also, the Shepherd and Mark moment was priceless. They're enemies and friends at the same time.

And seriously, the George and Izzie thing is pissing me off. Somehow it's like this past thing that I happened to me. I don't want them together, I like Izzie and Alex together.

Spider Man 3

(SPOILER ALERT)

"I'll die for my friends" - Harry

Yeah, he actually did. At a pivotal moment of this movie. Touching scene.

"Revenge is like a poison" - Aunt Mae

Yeah, VENOM covering Spider Man all up and a BELL helped him take it of.

"People always need some help, Peter, even Spider Man" - Mary Jane

"Harry, I need your help" - Peter Parker

You guys should seriously watch it. Best Spider Man movie among the trilogy.

Also, I watched the Fantastic Four trailer. Funny and action-filled. LOL.

so does becoming "too available" beats the S out of you?

i was in a semi-annoyed mood yesterday for reasons that I don't even know if they were fair or not. i sometimes find myself in awe on how i can retain myself from being the "lashing out, irrational" person that i can get when i'm almost at the edge of being mad.

i find it very comforting that there are some people who care enough to tell you that you should not just lash out without even thinking about the reason you're lashing out. sometimes, i find it hard to do such. i speak with emotions rather than thoughts, which gets me into trouble most of the time.

i'm a highly sensitive person. i used to think that i wasn't, but until recently, i became overly sensitive.

maybe it's because of my lifestyle these days.

---

this quarter is my first quarter of my last year in college.

scary and exciting at the same time

APPLE MAKES PEOPLE WAIT.

Apple Released a Statement with regards to LEOPARD.

THIS BLOWS!!

I've been waiting all this time for this OS to come out. GRR..

This makes me buy the TIGER. I don't think I can upgrade to LEOPARD from PANTHER (yes, I'm that far behind in updating my computer).

HAYYY.. I hate waiting.

Politics is too vicious to handle.

I've never talked about political issues for the reason that I hate going into it since it's so dirty and vicious and downright superficial. Then again, as I've learned recently, political life has much to do with the life that I'm living right now.

This article from the New York Times is what going to make me talk about politics in this blog.

• For some UNKNOWN reason, the lovely Vice President Dick Cheney came out of the picture and started accusing/bantering the Senate and the House Democrats with regards to the war spending bill that they are proposing to the president that says they're going to approve the funds for the troop in exchange for troops withdrawal by October 1. I have not seen or heard any comments from Cheney ever since this tug of war between the executive and the legislative began, which makes me think, did Cheney only come out to engage in the gridlock because the Republicans in the House and the Senate refuse to engage in the tug of war. Did he only come out so Bush can have the image that he has someone by his side to defend his foreign policies?
  

Senator Reid was right when he said this:

“The president sends out his attack dog often,” said Mr. Reid. “That’s also known as Dick Cheney.”

• The article also quoted Bush on a PBS radio show: “Just logic,” Mr. Bush replied. “I mean, you say we start moving troops out. Don’t you think an enemy is going to wait and adjust based upon an announced timetable of withdrawal?”

WHAT LOGIC ARE YOU TALKING ABOUUUUTT??? DUDEEE!! wake up!!! What was your primary reason that you went to Iraq in the first place?

(Check!) You overthrew a dictator
(Check!) You helped the Iraqi people build a democracy

And you're so called idea that the government was carrying weapons of mass destruction was not even supported because the investigators sent there didn't even find any.

o mi gossshhhhhh.... what the hell is wrong with your brain?? If you're so worried about your "enemy", direct your troops towards the place to where that enemy is, not to a place where the enemy has already been disintegrated. OR better yet, send the troops home so that your country will not be left undefended when it starts to get invaded.

Also, are you deaf?? Are you not hearing the Iraqi people calling out for the Americans to go and leave their country??

Seriously. You're wasting so much lives on something that does not even make any sense anymore.

Hope that this "debacle" of yours won't hunt you in the decades to come.

i'm gonna try LIVEJOURNAL.

go over there!

lpamuspusan.livejournal.com

Till we see you again....

"Kaya ikaw, lubusin mo yung oras mo sa mga parents mo, dahil pag wala na sila, duon mo marealize na kulang na kulang ka sa oras, duon ka magsisisi."

(take advantage of the time that you have with your parents now, because once they are gone you can't bring back those times and you'll find out how little time that you have with them)

This is what my friend told me after I talked to him.

Deaths have been happening lately. I can't imagine how much grief and sorrow one must feel to experience a loss of someone that is deeply close to them.

For the people who have lost their loved ones, I am deeply sorry.

And for the ones that have passed, I'll see you when I get there.

Spring Break

So I'm hoping to end my spring break with this kind of sobriety shown in this picture. I'm hoping to start spring quarter with full energy and enthusiasm.

This picture was taken by Gene during our 1 year ani at the Royal Argosy Cruise (highly recommended for all the Seattle peeps out there, try their Crab Bisque entree.. reaalllyyy gooodd). I like this picture. When I first saw it I asked him, "is that me?", and when he said yes. I was astonished. I luuuvvv this picture! and also the person who took it.

I'm ending my work study this June. I'm planning to look for a job at the hospital. I already got my Phlebotomy certificate, so it's on to looking for actual jobs. I am looking towards applying at Children's Hospital, since I'm planning to work with kids in my future. Recently, I've been checking the job board in their website, but it only shows one opening during the nights. Anyway, I'll keep checking.

"Kamikaze"

My first drink as a legal person in this country. It tasted like lime juice or lemon juice.

So.. turning 21? Yes, I'm a certified adult now. More responsibilities though and more things to think about in life. I'm almost graduating so it's time for me to actually get on with my med school admissions stuff. I'm starting to study for the MCAT, piece by piece that is. OHHH... and I have to finish our citizenship papers. Sooo much stuff.. to do..

I wish the euphoria (sans the puking) I had during the day I had this shot taken didn't wore off. I wish that that night with less responsibilities did not end. But it had to. I woke up the next day and I knew I had more to do.

I really don't know if I'm still qualified to say, "Heck, I'm still young, I can take my time". At 21, I really don't know if I should start taking life seriously or just go with the flow like I did when you were 20, or 19 or 18 and so forth.

Anyway.. I have too much time on my hands today.

Heeyyy.. this is the first post in a long time with a photos.

Awesome.

Finals: THE END

Done for the quarter. Read that my Physical Chemistry grade is out and about for the public eye to see. Damn professor.

Anyway, spring break... my "plans" are.....

Monday -

home/work/tires

sh%t i don't know..

Tuesday -

home/work/oil/tires

seriously.. no clue

Wednesday -

home/work/oil/tires/FAFSA PAPERS/citizenship papers

arggghhhh...

Thursday -

home/work/oil/tires/Fafsa papers/citizenship papers/iron my mother's clothes

spring break is starting to shine upon me by now..

Friday -

who gives a damn anyway???


---
happy day today. it's 1 year day. it's green day. it's saint patrick's day.
1 year beybeeehh!!

Finals II

I am taking one of the million breaks that I've taken ever since I started studying at 9pm. I'm studying for my History of Christianity Final. There's a lot to study and umm.. there's really a lot to study.

I finished my Physical Chemistry Final today. It was alright for the first few parts, but when I got to the end, I completely flaked out. I didn't know how to do it, so basically I BSed my answers. Can't wait to see my grades for that class.

I also finished my Phlebotomy course. I can start looking for jobs now. Just looking.

For my sake, I hope this quarter ends with a bang.

Can't wait for this:

1 year BEYBEEHH!!

Finals I

I have this theory that when you wait until the day before a paper is due you can' t possibly get the best score (or at least an average score) on it, unless of course you're a really good writer and you already know what you're gonna write already. But I didn't know what to write about and I proved this theory with the 2nd paper I did for my Rome class. 2.4 baby. Yes, that's how much I crammed to do that paper. Quite sad.

Last class for my Blood Draw course tomorrow. I am pinning to get a 39/40 in the test tomorrow cause as it turns out (thanks to my lovely bf who reminded me about it), I have to get at least a 90 out of a 100 to get a 3.0 in that class. I already lost 8 points from the previous 3 quizzes that we had. Fun.

Anyway, I should be studying instead of blogging.

See you in a week.

Finals Week.

*scratches head*

it's that time of the quarter again.

I have 4 to take. ho boy.

ok. breathe. breathe. i can do this.

breathe. breathe.

seriously, i can do this.

OK...
i'm ok..
let's just think of happy thoughts.

Tomorrow's Agenda: Study for PCHEM final. That will continue on until Tuesday.

Wednesday's Agenda: Study for Christianity final. That will continue on until Thursday.

Friday's Agenda: Study for Rome final, which will continue on until Saturday.

ALSO for Thursday and Friday's Agenda: Study for Phlebotomy class' final.

1 week to study. YEEYYY. I shall kick some butt. Who cares if I don't get registered with the classes that I want? If I kick some butt with finals, I'll be extra extra happy.

*jumps up and down*

ok. PEACE!

Banks give me the creeps

Bank of America says that they are "THE BANK OF OPPORTUNITY"

I'm so sure.

For a bank that charges for withdrawal fees from ATMs to a bank that doesn't even inform you that they will charge your credit card that you don't use with the money that you owe them.

BANK OF OPPORTUNITY indeed.

Bente-Uno

9:47pm

I received a wonderful gift today. The hospital assistant in the surgery department that I volunteer at toured me around the operating rooms in the hospital, both the pavilion and the main one. It was a great experience, getting a first hand look at a real operating room. I also got a chance to sneak a peek on a surgery actually being done to someone. It was great. I can't really describe the feeling that I had when I was there. Basta. It was a great gift I could received and to think I received it on my 21st.

In my head, now more than ever, I have a good feeling. I am going to med school.

NO MATTER WHAT.

I AM AMAZED.

12:37pm

I need to get a camera phone.

It's my birthday!!

uhhh..

What else should i say??

IT'S MY BIRTHDAAYY!!

Why can't President's day be 48 hrs?

3 day weekend GONEE.. BAAHH!!

OK. Back to school again later today.. waaahh.. i want spring break..

i'm also sad right now because i didn't get the lab class that i want. effin graduating seniors (and to think, I will be them in a couple of months..)..

anddd.. my birthday is in 2 days.

OK. I have to turn on my school mode again.

BAAHH!!!

21st happens only once in a lifetime

I'm almost 21 and umm.. for the sake of having a wishlist.. here's one.. i haven't done this before so.. bear with me.. hehehehehe..

Materials:

(1) Gift certificate from For Love of 21 - The accessories store of Forever 21

(2) Gift Certificate from Starbucks

(3) if you're really generous - 5th generation IPOD charger.

(4) 5th Generation 30gb Ipod Skins - to protect ipods from scratching and breaking

(5) 4x6 Printer Paper for my Canon Selphy CP510 printer

(6) Did I already mention Gift Certificate from Starbucks?

Untouchables:

(1) Have lunch/dinner with me @ Tony Roma's - I have a birthday certificate that they sent me. I want to use it. So have dinner/lunch with me.

(2) Hang out and talk with me whenever you and I are free.

(3) Have a "drink" with me.

(4) Tell me 21 things that I don't know about you.

(5) Bake me brownies

(6) Bake me SALMON (HINT HINT.. HAHAHAHAHAHA.. *coughs* JAN JEN *coughs* )

(7) Visit me @ UW and have lunch with me or just hang around with me around the UDistrict or UVillage - I need some break time away from all the craziness.

(8) Tell me 5 things you don't like about me (ohhh.. free for allll.. hahahahaha.. )

(9) Give me one good website to visit.

(10) Tell me 1 thing that you like about me.

Twins

So. It was an overdue post. But, it's ok. Let me introduce you to, Reymond Edgardo and Sofie Gwen. Hihi. They're so cute!! (Y'all can tell who's the boy and who's the girl right??)

And here's Ms. Sofie Gwen smiling/laughing. It ain't that hard to make her laugh.

And this is Reymond Edgardo trying to smile. It's hard to make him smile. HEHE..

A "pietas" entry.

I had a conversation with this Filipina lady in the bus on the way home from school two days ago. It was an encounter that I never expected. From the stories that she's telling me about her family, I could tell that she came from a well-bred family, "me kaya", is the word for it in Tagalog.

She asked me about my parents, how long we've been staying here.. all those standard Filipino question and answer.

When I told her that my dad was back home and didn't want to stay here. She gave me this whole speech about America being a good land to live in. That you can live in it without any worries and frustrations. That life here is much better than life back home. She came to a point of saying the words, "wala ng pag-asa ang Pilipinas, kaya sabihin mo sa tatay mo dito na lang sya".

I never really got the impact of those words when I read it from other immigrants' blog, but when I actually heard it in reality, that's when I really got the whole meaning of it. I mean, here's a Filipino, born in the Philippines, who is downgrading or shall i say downcasting her own motherland, where she came from.

I didn't really know what to feel when I heard those words from her. Deep inside me, I felt like I want to be mad at her at tell her off by saying, "it's your homeland, it's where you come from, how dare you say those things to her? it's people like you who makes the Philippines worse than it already is." But then on the other hand, I thought, she's right, in so many aspects she's right.

I don't know. I guess in a way I think highly of the Philippines, no matter how hard it is to live there now. Philippines is so much more than economy and growth. It's a place I call "home". A place where I grew up. To me, it doesn't hurt to think that one day, this country will rise above every challenge it is facing right now. To me, it doesn't hurt to think positive about the country.
Sure it is what it is right now. But with the right amount of help especially from its people living abroad, that country can fluorish.

I just don't really get why there are people like that. Like I said, those kind of people are the people who make the Philippines what it is right now. Wala ng pagasa. Good thing there are others who still thinks that Philippines is a country with many opportunities. I still think that there is a lot of good opportunities there --- farmland, culture, sights, beaches, metropolitan --- people just don't see it or they just chose not to see it anymore.

Picture Post I

01/26/07: The Shoes that Hurt my Feet

This shoes made my feet suffered that day. I had scabs on the sole of my feet. It was crazy. But I learned an important lesson that day.

Never buy shoes that don't fit you well, NO MATTER HOW CUTE THEY ARE.

LOL. I'm crazy that way.

That day was also the day of my first PChem Midterm. So yeah, the end of my day was pretty much a day of craziness.

I still have yet to get the results of my test. Hmm.. I wonder..

Photos are sad.

I just remembered that I took a picture from last Friday that I thought I would post here. But, I haven't got the chance to upload it. ARGGHHH.. I'm losing touch I'm telling you. I owe Photography a lot these days.

Errmm..

My Classes. My Business.

February 6. My first midterm in Rome's History and Art History.

I'm quite scared because I have seen the guidelines for review (which is on the left side of this entry.). A lot of it based on memorizing dates (to which I totally hate since.. yeah.. I just don't like memorizing numbers.. except when it comes to Math or Chem of course.. ). Hayyy.. O mi gosh.. I'm scared. But I can't be scared. I took this history class for two reasons. One, for me to learn about the history of Rome, so I won't be an ignorant pompous ass when one day I see myself walking on the streets of Rome seeing all the nice places, and TWO, so I would conquer my apathy against history.

O mi gosh..

I'm really scared.

But um.. I won't be scared. I'm writing our first paper right now. It's about the theme "virtue and vice" within the Roman history. So, techinically, I'm reviewing already.

Hooray!

Ok. Must go back to the paper. I have one week to review. ONE WEEK. AND on top of that, I still need to review for my other classes. I have another book to read for my History of Christianity class. And my PChem professor ain't making life easier for us.

Ok. Must stop complaining.

I haven't got the chance to upload pictures of the new additions to our family. My cousin gave birth to twins. A boy and a girl. I'll upload as soon as the craziness in my life tames down, to which I hope would be after my rome exam next week.

Life Lessons

Realizing that I am a bit of a freakish, illogical and unreasonable person when I'm mad/high tempered..

ERR.. Menn.. You know it is true. You don't want to be wrong and yet sometimes you still are too stubborn to admit that you're wrong. I don't know if its genetically embedded in a girl's DNA to be prideful. Aren't men suppose to me more egotistical than girls?

Anyway. I've decided to calm my self down and start living a life (with less) pride. I am not sure how that will go because as we all know, pride is the one sin that we all can't beat, unless of course we have a strong heart to beat it.

New Found Glory

Errrmm.. so I'm back here.. hahaha..

anywaaayy.. I'm tired.. I just got done doing my physical chemistry homework.. must review tomorrow because i have midterms coming up.. argghhh.. tomorrow, my cousin will be having her twin babies (joyy!!!!), boy and girl people.. i have a nephew and a niece through my first cousin!!

anyway.. it's gonna be loud and distraction prone in this house in the next month or so. soooo.. I am thinking of making Starbucks in 220th my new home for studying.. ohhhh boyy.. hahahaha..

i have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.. after school and work, i'm gonna go to the hospital to check my new niece and nephew (this is gonna be a toll to write.. ).. ok..

i'm off to fix my stuff..

Thermochemistry, Early Rome 7 Kings, Romans sees Christians..

- Seattle had another snowstorm.
- Seattle has icy roads.
- I don't like Seattle when it snows during the end of the week.
- Seattle sucks when it snows and freezes below standard temperature.

I'm very whiny right now. I was itching to go out earlier but couldn't because it's so chilly outside AND the roads are covered with ice. BAD to drive on roads that are covered with ice. So I just stayed home and looked for e-coupons for ipods and Tiger OSX (which I had no luck by the way). I'm actually planning to buy a new iPod since I gave my old one to my dad and I'm also planning to buy a new operating system for my iBook since it's long overdue of an upgrade with its OS. I've been having trouble downloading some "10.4 required" apps lately so I have to be upgraded to a 10.4 system.

I've been rather busy again. It's a 3 day weekend (Martin Luther King Day on Monday) and of course, if it's a 3 day weekend, profs love to stack homeworks and readings on you. This quarter I'm taking: History of Christianity, History and Art History of Rome, and the second course of the Physical Chemistry series. So, I have a lot in my hands, LOTS of readings. PLUS, I'm working and planning to volunteer at the hospital. AND I also applied for Phlebotomy Course at North Seattle Comm College. So Yeah... it will be a busy quarter and so much for social life! I have to start getting use to it. I have to stop sleeping through bus rides and sleeping in between classes. It's quite hard to get back in the game when you have been out for a while, but I'm getting the hang of it so far. Next week, I'll probably in it 99.4%. HE. HE.


Little Snowman 2006
(reminiscent of the snowstorm Seattle had last November 2006)

I'm sailing off to "neverland".. whatever that means..

I'm sailing off to Puget Sound, originally uploaded by photosdotcom.

Since I'm beginning to be boring and slowly losing my passion over my academics, I'm gonna start posing with the pictures that I took last year that I have uploaded onto another flickr site.

I took this picture last spring with Gene at the Old Ivar's dock. It was pretty nice out there, kinda cold, but nice. I recommend it for people who loves to take picture and for couples who want to see something new in seattle (in case of course you haven't been there)

I like this picture because it depicts ME (the boat) wanting to sail off of
Seattle. I'm not liking Seattle anymore. I don't if it's because of the rain or the vibe here. I don't know.

Skinny as the new trend?? THEN I must be a Trendy person!

Skinny jeans. Leggings. Tights.

EFF!

I'm not the kind of person to follow trends while it's happening. I usually do that when the trend is OVER, meaning it's no longer a fashion "YES".

I was at the mall today and I saw a pair of leggings in Hollister. 9.90. Yeah. NO! I've been telling my mom and my sister that I'm not buying a pair of leggings for that much amount of money. Heck, I can buy food for two days for that amount of money.

Last Sunday, I improvised on leggings.. since I'm too cheap to buy them. I cut off the foot of my stockings and VOILA! Leggings my friends! Too bad I didn't take a picture. EFF! I'm getting boring.. that's not good..

Anyway....

2006 was fun. 2007 will be cooler.

Discovered new things.

• I can actually keep my room clean. I re-did the whole layout of my room when my Christmas break started and yeah, I'm kinda digging the new look. Although, I have to accustom or rather train myself to fix my stuff. It gets too crowded in my room when there are too much stuff.


• I discovered that I have the power to become uber crazy when I'm drunk. It's true, people do the craziest things when they're drunk. AND they also go through the most embarassing things.


• I discovered that I can make the FIRST move to the things that I want most and HEY, making the first move isn't so bad at all. You actually can get what you want.


• I've been through phases this year. It was crazy.

Trashed the old things.

• I trashed some bad vibes around me. It wasn't the nicest thing I've ever done, but at least I got it out of my system AND my environment.


• I made some people mad AND I made some people think with this ENTRY.

Discovered things about myself and my surroundings.

When people do things that I despise, I realize that I despise it because I myself do the same thing that they do.
I realized that no matter how hard you try, you'll still expect from others.
I realized that nothing in this world can be permanent. It always ends up being messed up.
I learned not to push myself into somewhere I don't belong to.
I learned to watch my back even more.
I learned the power of true friendship.
I learned the art of being passive aggressive.

To the people that I have met, thank you for the lasting impressions you gave me.
To the few that I have hurt, for that I am sorry. I don't expect for things to get back to the way they are, because I know that IT will never will.

Goodluck and God bless with this year everyone.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.

i miss my friends.

I just miss the feeling of being really comfortable around people.
People who have known you for quite some time. Oh say.. 8 years? 9 years?
Most of my friends back home are graduating this year. How fast time goes by. I wish I could watch them. I wish I could be there to congratulate them. TO give them a hug for a job well done.
I wish I could be there during reunions. I've missed a lot. One of my friends told me that I need to make up for the absences. Don't worry, someday I will.
I really miss them. the fun that I had with them. The teasing. The jokings. Everything.
I just wish that they would take the effort to say or drop an email here and there. That's all I want. A simple hi. I just don't want to do all the effort. But sometimes I have to, in order for me to know that I'm not forgotten. dramatic, i know.
I just miss them. Wala lang. I just wish that they're like a city away from me.

Blog Features change a lot.

Seriously.

Livejournal
Wordpress
Multiply


So I have a lot of weblogs? I don't really have that much time on my hands to fill these babies up with my unmitigated, random and superficial thoughts. I just update when I feel like it. These days I'm not really a fan of writing. I read more. I don't know, I just find fun and interest in what other people write about.

So, to the blogs that I lurk around to: Sorry I don't comment much... I'm just not the type of person to write. But, I respect your opinions (sometimes I don't.. ).. But most of the times I do.. don't worry about me.. i'm not what you call a "toxic" lurker/reader.. i'm simply a person who enjoys reading better than writing.

Adios!

HTTP://ANGELICCHIC.WORDPRESS.COM

self sacrifice is good for the soul

I've been selfish for the past 3 months. I've been out and about. My social life has turned me into ways that I didn't even imagine. I partied until the wee hours of the morning. Stayed up late just to talk to friends. Pretty much do things that normal teens and early 20s people do. I've been sucked into that hole where I didn't think straight. I didn't think what the people who are close to my life think about what i'm doing.

Now, I think I'm paying for it. My mom suddenly became not-to-strict, but close to being strict on me. She wants me to go home early now. Whenever I ask permission from her to go out, I always get that look, that as if I'm going to do something bad.

It's an ugly feeling. Funny part is, I don't know which feeling is ugly.

Guess that's how life is sometimes. When you do too much, you end up paying for it by having someone or something make you not do much.

So I guess it's time for me to self sacrifice. Sacrifice the things that I THINK would make me happy for the things that other people will be happy with. Well, I'll sacrifice SOME things. But not ALL things.

I'm feeling a little in between right now. I don't really know where to position myself into.

GOD, HELP ME.

Something for all of us to think about.

========================
Speech of Butch Jimenez, head of PLDT's media and strategic communications
department, delivered during the UP Diliman Class 2003 commencement
exercises)


As college students, you're just about to set sail into the real world. As
you prepare for the battleground of life, you'll hear many speeches, read
tons of books and get miles of advice telling you to work hard, dream big,
go out and do something for yourself, and have a vision. Not bad advice,
really. In fact, following these nuggets of truth may just bring you to the
top. But as I've lived my life over the years, I have come to realize that
it is great to dream big, have a vision, make a name, and work hard. But
guess what: There's something better than that.


So my message today simply asks the question, What's better than...?


Let's start off with something really simple. What's better than a long
speech? No doubt, a short one. So, you guys are in luck because I do intend
to keep this short.


Now, let me take you through a very simple math exam. I'll rattle off a
couple of equations, and you tell me what you observe about them. Be
mindful of the instructions. You are to tell me what you observe about the
equations. Here goes:


3+4=7, 9+2=11, 8+4=13, and 6+6=12. Tell me, what do you observe?


Every time I conduct this test, more than 90 percent of the participants
immediately say, 8+4 is NOT 13, it's 12!


That's true and they are correct. But they could have also observed that
the three other equations were right. That 3+4 is 7, that 9+2 is 11, and
that 6+6 is 12.


What's my point? Many people immediately focus on the negative instead of
the positive. Most of us focus on what's wrong with other people more than
what's right about them.


Examine those four equations. Three were right and only one was wrong. But
what is the knee-jerk observation? The wrong equation.


If 10 people you didn't know were to walk through that door, most of you
would describe those people by what's negative about them. He's fat.He's
balding. Oh, the short one. Oh, the skinny girl. Ahhh, 'yung pango
(flat-nosed). Etc.


Get the point? It's always the negative we focus on and not the positive.


You'll definitely experience this in the corporate world. You do a hundred
good things and one mistake-guess what? Chances are, your attention will be
called on that one mistake.


So what's better than focusing on the negative? Believe me, its focusing on
the positive. And if this world could learn to focus on the positive more
than the negative, it would be a much nicer place to live in.


Better than working hard.


We have always been told to work hard. Our parents say that, our teachers
say that, and our principal says that. But there's something better than
merely working hard. It's working SMART. It's taking time to understand the
situation, and coming out with an effective and efficient solution to get
more done with less time and effort.


As the Japanese say, "There's always a better way." One of the most
memorable case studies I came across with as I studied Japanese management
at Sophia University in Tokyo was the case of the empty soap box, which
happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies.


The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a box of soap
that was empty. It immediately isolated the problem to the assembly line,
which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery
department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line
empty.


Management tasked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the
engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution
monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed
through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked
hard and they worked fast.


But a rank-and-file employee that was posed the same problem came out with
another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it
at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed
the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.


Clearly, the engineers worked hard, but the rank-and-file employee worked
smart.


So what's better than merely working hard? It's working smart.


Having said that, it is still important to work hard. If you could combine
both working hard and working smart, you would possess a major factor
toward success.


Better than dreaming big


I will bet my next month's salary that many have encouraged you to dream
big. Maybe even to reach for the stars and aim high.


I sure heard that about a million times right before I graduated from this
university. So I did. I did dream big. I did aim high. I did reach for the
stars. No doubt, it works. In fact, the saying is true: "If you aim for
nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit: nothing."


But there's something better than dreaming big. Believe me, I got shocked
myself. And I learned it from the biggest dreamer of all time, Walt Disney.


When it comes to dreaming big, Walt is the man. No bigger dreams were
fulfilled than his. Every leadership book describes him as the ultimate
dreamer. In fact, the principle of dreaming and achieving is the core
message of the Disney hit song, "When You Wish Upon a Star".


"When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are; anything your
heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dream, no request
is too extreme. When you wish upon a star, as dreamers do," as Jiminy
Cricket sang.


But is that what he preached in the Disney company? Dream?


Imagineering


Well, not exactly. Kinda, but not quite. The problem with dreaming is if
that's all you do, you'll really get nowhere. In fact, you may just fall
asleep and never wake up. The secret to Disney's success is not just
dreaming, it's IMAGINEERING. You won't find this word in a dictionary. It's
purely a Disney word.


Those who engage in imagineering are called imagineers. The word combines
the words "imagination" and "engineering."


In the book "Imagineers," Disney's CEO, Michael Eisner, claims that
"imagineers turn impossible dreams into real magic." Walt Disney explained
there is really no secret to their approach. They just keep moving
forward-opening new doors and doing new things, because they are curious.
And it is this curiosity that leads them down new paths. They always dream,
explore and experiment. In short, imagineering is the blending of creative
imagination and technical know-how.


Eisner expounds on this thought by saying that "Not only are imagineers
curious, they are courageous, outrageous, and their creativity is
contagious."


The big difference with imagineers is that they dream and then they DO! So
don't just be a dreamer, be an imagineer.


You must have all been given a lecture at one time or another about the
importance of having a vision. Even leadership expert John Maxwell says
that an indispensable quality of a leader is to have a vision. The Bible
also makes it very clear that "Without vision, people perish." So no doubt
about it, having a vision is important to success.


But surprise! There's something more potent than a vision. It's a CAUSE.
If all you're doing is trying to reach your vision and you're pitted
against someone fighting for a cause, chances are you'll lose.


The Vietnam War is a classic example. Literally with sticks and stones, the
Viet Cong beat the heavily armed US Army to surrender, primarily because
the US had a vision to win the war, but the Vietnamese were fighting for a
cause.


In the realm of business, many leaders have visions of making their company
No. 1, or grabbing market share, or forever increasing profits. Nothing
really wrong with that vision, but take the example of Sony founder Akio
Morita. He did not just have a vision to build the biggest electronics
company in the world. In his biography, "Made in Japan," he reveals that
the real reason he set up Sony was to help rebuild his country, which had
just been battered by war. He had a cause he was fighting for. His vision
to be an electronics giant was secondary.


What's the difference between a vision and a cause? Here's what sets them
apart...


No one is willing to die for a vision. People will die for a cause. You
posses a vision. A cause possesses you. A vision lies in your hands. A
cause lies in your heart. A vision involves sacrifice. A cause involves the
ultimate sacrifice.


Just a word of caution. You must have the right vision, and you must be
fighting for the right cause. In the end, right will always win out.


It may take time, and it may take long. But if you have the right vision
and are fighting for the right cause, you will prevail. If not, no matter
how sincere you are, if you are not fighting for what is right, you will
ultimately fail.


Two final quotes: Allow me to end with two quotes that I have lived by ever
since I stepped out of UP. The first comes from the Bible, which says,
"To whom much is given, much is required." Having been given the
opportunity to study in UP, no doubt, much has been given to you in terms
of an excellent education. Don't forget that in return, much is now
required of you to use that education not just for yourself, but for
others.


And as you move up and start reaching the pinnacle of success, even more
will be required of you to look at the welfare of others, of society and of
the country.


Though I have often dreamed of addressing any graduating class of UP
Diliman, I never really thought it would happen. This brings me to the
second quote I have held close to my heart as I traverse the destiny God
has laid out for me.


"There is no destination beyond reach of one who walks with God." My
standing in front of you today, as the youngest commencement speaker of
this esteemed university in 92 years, is proof of how true that quote is.


A final review:


* What's better than focusing on the negative? Focus on the positive. *
What's better than working hard? It's working smart. * What's better than
dreaming? Imagineering. * What's better than doing something for yourself?
Doing something for your country. * What's better than a vision? A cause. *
What's better than a long speech? Definitely, a short one.
Thank you and congratulations, UP Diliman graduating class of 2003.

Trust/Mistrust/Hypocritical Notions.

I now know the feeling of having your family talk behind your back.

Sometimes it sucks when they don't trust you enough to do the right thing.

Sometimes the feeling of doing good just isn't good enough.

Sometimes you just don't know what position to put yourself into.

Sometimes you just don't know how to act.

In some ways, I deserve it.

In some ways, I feel like I don't deserve it.

But they're family. I can't live without them. They're my go-to people when I'm in trouble.

So, I just have to live with it.

---

I've never felt so much motivation in my life.

One, I have been mistrusted.
Two, I was somewhat pressured
Three, Passing just makes me want to be happy
Four, I just want to be motivated.

I think the mistrust got stuck in my head now. The words that I heard from yesterday just wounded my heart so bad. Pati pala sa family, talking behind each others back is a common thing. Hmm.. I guess, I do it to. I also talk behind their backs. I guess this is the consequence for that. This is sad. Even family's talk behind each other's back. I thought only friends do that.

Blah.

it sucks when you're on your own when a problem strikes you down.

it sucks even more when that problem strikes you down when you're in a middle of a stressful situation.

is this God's way of seeing how resilient I am?

I guess so.

is this His way of wanting to know how much faith I have in Him?

I guess so.

God, don't leave me behind. I need you right now. I give the problem and the stress to you. I know that you won't leave me hanging.