so-called "expectations"

Expectations. I don't exactly know the meaning of the word "expectation", but I'll define it in my own terms, "to expect something from a promise, a word, a play, a dance, a contest and the whole nine yards".

When I was a bit younger, I had a lot of expectations from myself, my parents and my friends. I was the girl who believes in the principle of "once you promise something to me, I expect you to fulfill and/or do it, because if you don't I'll make sure to rub it in your face for as long as I can remember it". Yep, I was a bit uber-freakish when it comes to promises. But I have learned that being an uber-freak can do some great damage. What kind of damage? Hmm.. Let's see.. well there's me being really pissed off at the person who made a promise and there's me lying down on my bed, moping and thinking about why, how and what could I have done to make this person fulfill this "promise" to me.

It hurts me a lot when my own expectations are not met. I guess it runs in the family since my mom is the number 1 expectant in the family. Now, I'm trying to be more on the less expecting side. It's much more relaxing and it's not a heavy burden to carry. But I have to admit that I still expect. I still get hurt. I wish that this kind of attitude that I have goes away, cause it's killing me to overthink and overexaggerate about some stuff that I don't need to overthink about at all.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines expectation as "1a. The act of expecting. b. Eager anticipation: eyes shining with expectation. 2. The state of being expected. 3a. Something expected: a result that did not live up to expectations". I got that from Bartleby.com.

CIAO!