Christmas this year. I don't know. Somehow it has a different feel from the other Christmases that I've spent here. Although it was sweet, it was very subtle and very short. If you look back at the other entries I wrote about Christmas, you would think that I was expecting to have a blast this year. I did have a blast, it's just that it's not THE "blast" I was expecting.
I know you can't expect too much from Christmas. You can't expect to receive gifts from anyone you gave gifts too, you can't expect anyone to be around when you call them up and you can't expect everyone to be so bright and positive after a midnight mass. In short, you can't expect everything to be so perfect on Christmas.
Jesus Christ was born in a manger. I believe that Mary and Joseph thought of a manger, as a not-so-perfect place for a blessed Child to be born into because it's cold and there are lots of bad elements roaming around. Yet, they stuck with it with all pride and smiles, because they knew that God wanted them to be there and that He was there to protect them.
I don't know if this write-up made sense at all. If it didn't, I'm sorry. What I'm just trying to get out of this is the feeling of being content to what I experienced last Christmas and for expecting too much from it, a feeling of guilt and torment in my head.
The Good and the Bad of this year's Christmas:
BAD - Compared to last year, we didn't take that many pictures. I think my camera only caught 8 shots and my aunt's camera only caught 4.
GOOD - The Coronels, the Reantasos, and the Pamuspusans shared a very happy and hearty meal together.
BAD - I felt sad because I didn't have my sister with me.
GOOD - At least, my cousin Inee was there to make fun of and Jan Jen came in too.
GOOD - The "white elephant" gift giving was fun. I ended up with a "Truth or Dare Jenga" toy, which was the "steal of the night".
GOOD - We had fun playing Jenga and laughed at how Tito Pete enjoyed mocking us during our turns.
BAD - Tita Elsa, Tito Pete's wife, was feeling a bit under the weather during our play time.
BAD - When we were at church, I felt sad again.
GOOD - While browsing through the misallette (is that how you spell it?), I saw my ex CRUSH! BWAHAHAHA!! He sat right in front of us!! BWAHAHAHA!!! I had a good view of him!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
BAD - Since I usually share my "moments" with my sister, I felt even more sad. I wished that she was there, so that she could've at least seen what my X-crush looked like. I remember last year, a cute guy sat right in front of us and the whole time my sister and I were observed and discreetly talked about him
GOOD - I shared my moment with my cousin Inee. It wasn't the same, but at least I had her to share it with. (BAD LIANE! Comparing people! BAD!!)
GOOD - The bread and the cocoa we had after mass.
BAD - I felt awkward at the way my cousins mocked the homily of the mass.
GOOD - I felt content with the one gift that I received during the gift opening part of our Christmas saga, since we were only doing "secret santas" for that part. But after the "secret santa", I received more gifts from other people in our family.
I think my siblings had some conspiracy planned against me:
"LET'S LEAVE LIANE! HAVE HER SPEND CHRISTMAS ALONE WITH THE PARENTS THIS YEAR, WHILE WE PARTY AND GET DRUNK!"
So that's how my Christmas went.
Yesterday, I had a revelation on why I felt so weird/sad during Christmas time this year. But that's a different story for a different time.
I hope y'all had a wonderful Christmas this year.
HAVE A FUN (AND SAFE) NEW YEAR CELEBRATION!
I will be living vicariously through your moments of personally watching the fireworks go off at the stroke of midnight.
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