first day of school?!!??

5am - "THE WAY I ARE" by Timbaland wakes me up....

6am - i start walking towards the 185th bus stop. it's foggy and it's dark. OH WHAT FUN.

7am - i hang around Starbucks on 43rd St.

7:30am - BIOCHEM!!! YEYYYY!! Our first professor has an accent. But I keep imagining hitting myself in the head for sitting on the right hand corner of the classroom. So freaking hard to see well.

8:20am - I'm in Odegaard Library right now, writing this. After which, I shall go to the bathroom to release all the water I downed ever since 5:30am this morning.

GOOD MORNING PEEPS!!

The Ladies that I just love to hate

Samantha Brown

Gisele Bundchen

Rachel Ray

Heidi Klum

Travel? Model? Eat tasty foods? Did I mention travel?

I hate them.

VMA

I'm watching the Video Music Awards on MTV and can I just say the following:

BRITNEY. umm.. yeah, she ain't singing on her opening act. her dance moves, hmm.. she looks like she just doing some flimsy hand action.

HAAA.. where did all the fun go with her? Sarah Silvermann said it right, "She's only 25 and she has accomplished everything that she has to accomplish", ie. shave her head and go to rehab and have kids with some guy.

wehehehehe..

Awesome

THE NEW IPHONE, without the phone

everything i need.

There is more to life than material things.

There is more to life than a job that pays you six figures.

There is more to life than worrying about the smallest things.

I read in a magazine about a husband telling his wife not to worry if the car was not starting. He said, "No one is dying or having a heart attack, don't sweat it, we'll fix it". A man who knows his way with words. A man who lives up to the words "don't sweat the small stuff".

Material things are just that. Material. they cannot be immaterial because if they're mass produced, they're basically something that you can buy again if you lose it. I don't know why we very much thrive in a world where materialism seems to be a form of religion already. I admit, most of the time I tend to gravitate towards being materialistic but thankfully I can control myself, by saying to myself that it should not be like that. I should be happy with what I have.

Do I have everything? No. But I have a family that truly cares for my well being. I have great friends who are there for me in times of need no matter where they are and what they are doing. I have an education that has taught me quite a lot over the past years. I have a job that has taught me how to put myself out into the world. I will soon start a job that will help me save the world.

I don't have everything. But I sure have everything that will make me happy.

Since I work as a PT sales in the clothes, I've taken the action or the responsibility to make myself educated on the elements of style. When people ask me about certain questions about what outfit goes with what or what dress they can wear with what, I sometimes find myself in a rut or should i say, I find myself stammering while giving them answers. I guess it's very different to give style/fashion advice to people who you don't know compared to people that you know.

I've been reading up on this books

Before You Put that On by Lloyd Boston
How to be a Budget Fashionista by Kathryn Finney

and I have these books on hold at the library

Style by Kate Spade
A Guide to Elegance by some french woman who I can't spell the name here right now.

I don't know if the education that I'm gaining is helping the women (and men) who come in the store drowned in self confusion about what to wear and what not to wear.

GAAAHHH...

God, please help me give sound advice as well as good persuasion techniques.

for the lack of a better motivation

There is a 50-50 chance that this might be read by one of my family members, but I don't care. I need to vent this out and I need it NOW.

I can't seem to motivate myself in studying for the MCAT. I try my best to study, but all that gets in my head are just the words that I read. Not the MEANING of the words that I read.

I opted out on self-studying for this test because for one, I cannot afford to pay for classes. Plus, those classes bore the heck out of me, hence, me wanting to only self study. I have the materials in my hand. All I need is to purchase the practice tests. So what's up with the lack of motivation?? This summer is actually the best time to study for this test, but nooooo.. FUCK.

I'm so frustrated right now I can't even form words that will make my frustrations go away.

Risk Management and the Photos

STRESS MANAGEMENT

I got a lesson 101 on how to handle a stressful situation yesterday at work. Working in retail will really show you how to handle stress.. good place to work at when you need some practice on stress management..

Here's the scenario:

Credit card swiper wasn't working.. I had three customers who want to pay with credit card.. LUCKILY they were really patient ones.. they ended up just paying with cash.. but i really felt bad making them wait because i really hate it when other people wait out for me, makes me feel guilty especially if they're doing me a favor..

Thank you God for everything that you put me through today and thanks for the lessons.

FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

I got a credit card two days ago. My mom suggested that I get one so I can build up my credit line. It's a good idea actually, but then again, I really have to be careful with it. I'm scared to use it because you know CREDIT, makes you want to use it because it's just there. But I'm making it a point to limit my usage of it, so for the most part of my usage, I am just going to leave it at the house. My main purpose of usage for it is if I am going to make a big purchase. God, please guide me in controlling myself.

I need to use cash from now on when paying for food.

I need to use debit card for everyday needs and sometimes wants. NOT FOR FOOD.

I need to be savvy. Seriously.

PHOTOS FROM THE PHONE

175th light.. on my way to worky.

Northgate Mall Parking Lot. Clear pic

oh.. the sun is shining.. we don't see the sun 3/4 of the year here in seattle

we see this 3/4 of the year here in seattle, droplets of rain on our cars windows (which we had all week last week.)

me and Reymond.

More pictures coming soon. Canada ones.

work and work

my tired feet.

Yet you don't get paid enough.
and sometimes when you f*** it up, you end up paying for it, HELLA BIG TIME.

Hayyy.. I'm feeling the pain of overworking and being underpaid.

I feel sorry for my poor feet. It's been getting hogwashed for 5 days straight.

I understand now what my mom's work entails.
Although it has some perks, I get to see all the sales in the mall each day I work and I get to have first dibs on it. YAWZA! Although it's bad for my pocket. NYAHAHAHaHAHA..

----

I got a new phone. I'm trying it out for 30 days, see if I like it or not.

LG enV

I don't know if I should keep it yet. I only got it for $85 less the $50 rebate that I have to send if I decide to keep it. The $85 consists of the phone, the car charger, a 512 mb memory, a usb card reader, and a bluetooth handset. NOT BAD!

I like the keyboard set up of the phone, a feature that really caught my eye at first. It also has a 2mp camera, which takes nice pictures. I tested it out and it does take great pictures AND if I wanted, I can opt to have the VZ Navigator for 10 bucks per month, a good alternative to 411 that charges 1.50 per call. But then again, come to think of it it's 10 bucks added to my account.. ssooo.. iono..

i shall think about it.. for now, it's play time..

Career/Job

You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)

You're both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination. You were born to be a doctor.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

I don't know how true this meme can be. But anyway despite the many career quizzes that I will be taking I am for sure that I will be working with people who are in need of help. No matter what kind of help.

(1) Retail Sales Associate

- This job requires you to help people who are in desperate need to find something that they either WANT or NEED. This job requires you to have the ability to persuade and at the same time become compassionate and accomodating to the needs of the customers.

(2) Social Worker

- This job needs a higher level characteristic and/or capability to be able to withstand any cases that come their way. It's a highly stressful job because you deal with different types of people on a daily basis. You deal with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abused, the neglected, and the homeless to name a few. It requires a high amount of empathy and sympathy. It requires a high dose of helping hand.

(3) Army/Navy/Marines

- (1) Fighting wars (2) Protecting the country they serve (3) Helping other people get out of a danger zone (3) Making an evil place heaven. Yeah they pretty much would risk their lives to save the ones that they love and the ones who they don't even know.

There are more jobs out there that have the description of HELPING OTHERS under their pocket. I just named these three because they were the ones that stood out to me the most.

I seriously can't see myself working in any other jobs. Business jobs sucks, Research is cool, but it ain't for my learning/emotional capabilities, Fashion is fun but it gets old sometimes, photography is sweet, but it's too expensive for my taste.

I'm rambling. I have a sample sale to go to tomorrow so I should sleep.

Oh mi gosh. Seattle is having sample sales.

Part 2: Questions

I made myself happy today. I made a goal. YAHOO!

More on the QUESTIONS.

A 34 year-old man presents with AIDS and tells you, as his physician, that he does not want to tell his wife. What would you do?

First of all, I will respect the man's wishes, however, I would caution him about the dangers of not telling his wife about his condition such as the following: First of, he should tell his wife because he can also transmit the virus to her if they were having sexual intercourse. If this happens, and the wife knows nothing about his condition, then it would make her furious and betrayed at the same time. If the man still does not change his mind about it, then I will just let his conscience do the undertaking for him as well as for his wife because like i said from the beginning it is his wishes and for me doctors always must respect patient's wishes, but also at the same time be rational about hwo they would respect the patient's wishes.

If you had three magical wishes, what would they be?

(1) I wish that someone will give me enough money to go to any medical school that will accept me.

(2) I wish to become a person who will respect, honor and treat other people with empathy and sympathy.

(3) I wish to pass on the knowledge that I gained through the years that I was living to the next generation after mine.

Part 1: Questions

I am going to start posting a series of questions that I will be answering in the span of two months or so. I got these questions from a book that I am "trying" to read right now. I will be trying to compile these questions after I have answered them all and try to analyze my answers to each one of them to see how logical and truthful I have explained them.

Let's start with these questions:

Should doctors be allowed to "pull the plug" on terminally ill patients?

Unless the family tells them to do it, I don't think that they should. Terminally ill patients are still people, people who MAY still have a chance to live a life despite of being terminally ill. It may be medically impossible to happen but one should just trust in faith and just let it flow through the veins of the patient as well as through the doctor's vein. And if faith lets you down, let it be that the person die of natural death, not because of plug pulled to end his life. I believe that everyone should die in honor and peace, not because of an easy way out from an authority who knows better.

Would you consider a career in your present course of studies?

I would definitely consider a career in Chemistry. However, I wouldn't really pursue it to the point that I would go to graduate school, earn a PhD and write a letter requesting a grant for the research project that I want to undertake. Honestly, I don't see myself working beyond a mere laboratory technologist or research technologist in the Chemistry field. I have thought about this for a long time, imagined myself being one, but it just didn't seem to feel right for me. My feelings have only been compounded when I started to work for Chemistry-based labs and through my observations of what the research techs and scientists do in these labs, which are highly repetitive and far less interesting than medicine, fashion, or even photography. But don't get me wrong, I respect the scientists that are currently working to make this field a better and more interesting than it was. These scientists have worked their brains and their body for Chemistry to serve a better purpose.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

This is quite the tough question to ask. I think, the quality that I would definitely most likely want to change right now is me being TOO SENSITIVE. By me being such, I tend to overreact, take control, blame others around me, take pity upon myself and the list goes on.. when such quality overpowers me. I know that if it does affects me so much that I might consider changing it. I've been trying, I've been trying ever since it was pointed out to me by loved ones. I don't know how much I should be trying but hey, at least I'm trying. I don't know. Maybe I should, because being too overly sensitive can cause me a lot of trouble ESPECIALLY if I am planning on taking a career in the medical field. I think I should learn how to build a tough yet soft skin around me, in order for me to be alright.

What I'm thinking right now.

I have been working at this job in a field that is quite different from where I'm suppose to stand right now. The big thing I like about it is that I get the chance to hone my conversation skills with complete strangers. I am doing this for four months. I can extend it if I would like, but then again it's a different job than labs who understand my school load.

I have been having problems with myself lately. Hormonal imbalance of the month, I presume. Anyway, I just wish that I can sincerely and truthfully think of myself as someone who CAN do it. I am just not cut out for all those negative stuff. As one of my old, but still friend said, "don't be pessimistic, be optimistic". I know it sounds quite reductive, but it does work. When she said it, she said it in a tone of voice that will make you think about it all the time, I mean how else can I remember those words after 4 (or is it 5? 6? 7?) years of talking about it.

To address the question that has been asked of me by two people now, "Why have I not been posting new photos?".

Frankly, I'm lazy. I have lost the edge and the drive to take new pictures. I don't know why but I have. Probably its the camera that I have been using. Probably its because my computer's hard drive broke down on me that's why I'm scared to put new pictures in it. Probably because the last time I did some photo works, I didn't quite get the praise that I would've like to had.

Whatever.

Maybe it will come back, maybe it won't. Right now, I am passion less. Well, not really. I've been eyeing lots of new shoes lately so umm.. yeah, you could imagine how my pocket will burn after I get my hands on those shoes.

Then again, maybe not. I'm suppose to SAVE UP.

satisfying my mundane cravings through writing

i want to buy shoes.

i saw 2 pairs of shoes that i would like to buy from this store. two pairs of strappy sandals for night outs, both for only less than 30.

i also discovered a website where they sell dirt cheap shoes for less than 30. me want to get a lot. damn.. so hard to not have $. oh well..

white pumps
red pumps
silver flats
gold flats

oh the joy. i might be known as the woman who died with her shoes.

SUMMER TIME!!!! YOWZA!

my own self-righteousness.

here's a picture of a friendship that's based on superficial wants and needs.

sdhflksdajheuioprinslakdfhsaduproeiaqkgnsa;gisaflasknfsm vlkjihspafdahhfa;dlfhdas;lfhpsoa87r3q98slakghfps98yfvaksj

never mind.. i ain't posting something.. i remembered that I am beyond being a bitter fool among all of them.

here's to a summer away from all those dramatic fools (hopefully).

(credits to whoever owns this picture, let me know if you are the one... sorry that i forgot your name.)

Finals Week

ugh.

i hate finals week.

:(

i also hate the fact that i can't adjust myself to different types of people personality.

i didn't get the research assistant job.

:'(

life goes on.

Graduation

A group of (I think) graduate students were standing right in front of me earlier trying on their caps and gowns for their graduation this June.

So if I didn't fail that Biochem class last year, I could've graduated this year.

Congrats Graduates!

Interview woes

I had an interview today for a job that I really really really want to have. ARRGGHH.. if only I knew how to express how I really want this job then maybe I could've left a more lasting impression to the interviewer. I feel so dumb. I seriously don't know how to act during an interview. After an interview, I tend to criticize myself for being to quiet, being too timid or being too shy. I hate hate hate those qualities.

I really want this job. I seriously don't care about the amount of money that they will pay me. But why am i ranting here?? I should be saying this to that person.

Sir, if you're reading this, I really really do want this job. I'm sorry for being so timid earlier, but I just did not want to come off as being too aggressive and too informal.

ARGGGHHH!!!

Friends.

it's hard to know what friends mean. i don't know if we're just competing for things that we're not suppose to be competing for or if we're just not meant to be that close at all. life is so hard without knowing who are truly your friends. it's hard to know how to act with people you always hang out with because you don't know if how you're acting generally irritates them or they're just putting up with you just because they don't have no one else to go with.

it's also hard to compete. i know you're not suppose to or it's not about competing at all, but sometimes it just feels that way.

it's also hard to be less selfish because people generally are born that way. Only God is the one with the non-selfish bone in his body.

i dreamt last night about my friends from the Philippines. All of them were here, in Seattle. They came to visit me, but unfortunately, I couldn't hang out with them because I had school and they were only here for one day and at the time that I went home from school, they're all gone. It was a sad dream. I remember one of them hugging me and crying his (take note, it's a guy) eyes out about how much he misses talking and laughing with me. I remember that even for just a little time, we all managed to just catch up with what is going on. It's heartbreaking to have that dream. Somehow, I could just interpret it as me being that guy who's crying his eyes out. IT feels like i am him, although i don't project my emotions out on crying (heelloo, been there done that.. moving onnn.. ).. Anyway, I just can't wait to go back home and just catch up with each and everyone of them. I have one week (or two, hopefully) to do so.

i miss..

lin
lenn
joy
nyo
nat
noel
jamuel
paolo
ron
ivy
heidi
grace e
grace s
pj
ryan
earl

haaayy.. and so much more.

i wish to see them soon.

friends, they bite, they're family, they're bitches and assh****, they're mean, they're tolerable, they're nasty, they're annoying, they're nice, they're forgiving, they're kind, they're generous, they're funny, they're charming, they're supportive, they're your rock.

Bags inspired my Gwenie

This was my first Harajuku Lovers bag.

Hay lab it.

This bags are ridiculously pricey. I think my mom got this on sale at Macy's.










I've never been a fan of Gwen Stefani's clothing line mostly because it was way over the price that I'm willing to pay for. Then when my family (sister and cousin) started buying all this Harajuku Lovers bags all on sale, the green eyed monster caught me. Must be something about the family.
This bag is my second Harajuku Lovers bag. My mom bought it for me. She asked my yesterday if I wanted to own one more of this line, I didn't succumb to it because for one I don't really need it anymore. But when she got it and showed it to me today, I instantly fell in love with this one.

Cute ha?

Notice the shadow frame of this picture. Kinda like this picture was taken with a Holga Camera. Hihi.




I searched through the Harajuku Lovers website today and found this cute tote bag selling for $42. Haayyy.. the price you pay for the things that you only want.

(image courtesy of harajukulovers.com)


I might have to wait on this one.

forgive the all over editing.it's been a while since i tackled HTML.