Friends.

it's hard to know what friends mean. i don't know if we're just competing for things that we're not suppose to be competing for or if we're just not meant to be that close at all. life is so hard without knowing who are truly your friends. it's hard to know how to act with people you always hang out with because you don't know if how you're acting generally irritates them or they're just putting up with you just because they don't have no one else to go with.

it's also hard to compete. i know you're not suppose to or it's not about competing at all, but sometimes it just feels that way.

it's also hard to be less selfish because people generally are born that way. Only God is the one with the non-selfish bone in his body.

i dreamt last night about my friends from the Philippines. All of them were here, in Seattle. They came to visit me, but unfortunately, I couldn't hang out with them because I had school and they were only here for one day and at the time that I went home from school, they're all gone. It was a sad dream. I remember one of them hugging me and crying his (take note, it's a guy) eyes out about how much he misses talking and laughing with me. I remember that even for just a little time, we all managed to just catch up with what is going on. It's heartbreaking to have that dream. Somehow, I could just interpret it as me being that guy who's crying his eyes out. IT feels like i am him, although i don't project my emotions out on crying (heelloo, been there done that.. moving onnn.. ).. Anyway, I just can't wait to go back home and just catch up with each and everyone of them. I have one week (or two, hopefully) to do so.

i miss..

lin
lenn
joy
nyo
nat
noel
jamuel
paolo
ron
ivy
heidi
grace e
grace s
pj
ryan
earl

haaayy.. and so much more.

i wish to see them soon.

friends, they bite, they're family, they're bitches and assh****, they're mean, they're tolerable, they're nasty, they're annoying, they're nice, they're forgiving, they're kind, they're generous, they're funny, they're charming, they're supportive, they're your rock.