WE have a TREE!!

(me opening the front door of our house) ...

Aunt: "Oh! We have a tree in our house!"

Me (confused about a woman standing by my mom's bedroom door and my aunt's words) : "We have a Christmas tree already?"

Aunt (laughing): "No!! C'mere and look"

(me walking towards the dining room and seeing this part of the tree inside the house)

Me: "OH... THHHAAATT KIND OF TREE."

HEHEHEHE.. yeah so that was funny to me. But this happened after a windstorm that hit Seattle two weeks ago. Quite fun. Well, not really. IT was quite scary. But on the upside, hot firemen came to our house. yehehehehe.. well one of them is hot, the other two were a bit old already.

i guess when you open up yourself to something that you're usually not, you easily get torn down and be back to the reality that you're not suppose to be who you are usually not.

preppy fashionista

my mythology professor looks like a preppy fashionista. reason being? he's a harvard and yale alumni.. ahem.. i know, i'm biased.. but i have this pre-conceived notion that all people who go to those schools are preppy fashionistas.. don't have anything against them, in fact I admire their sense of style..

in conclusion, i like my mythology professor's sense of style. not all professors dress like him.

spinning in physical and mental state

three days ago, i had a car accident. it was one for the books for me as it was very meaningful albeit the scariness of it. i was driving towards the Veteran's Affairs hospital to finish up my job application there to become a clinical lab assistant, a job description that I liked so much because i get to practice blood drawing.

towards the exit sign, i got into the accident. the car that i was driving spun around.

before i had that accident, i came across interstate morning traffic. it was literally hell for me because i was so tired and so frustrated about the traffic. i begun into thinking if that job was the right job to take while i'm at my situation right now. i was weighing pros and cons, thinking of things to consider, thinking of things that i have to think about even before i make a decision. i was so confused and so dazed that i just prayed to God to give me a sign that tells me not to take the job anymore.

in comes the accident. a sign. a big sign.

my mental state that day was in daze and confused situation, however, the accident alleviated it quite a bit. although, i was traumatized i feel like that day was a big lesson for me that i for sure will remember for the rest of my life. i've learned a lot of things and one of those was to thank God for being there for me always.

if i would've taken that job, i would've been in a spin state. my head would be all clouded from all information from school and be tired from all the stresses of travelling back and forth from the hospitals and from selling my ass off in my retail job.

i'm graduating in 6 months. 6 freaking months. i'm panicked and i'm excited.

before i graduate, i want to make the grade. but in order for me to do that i have to make school as my #1 priority.

i have to make sacrifices in order to survive and be rewarded graciously.

to friends whom i don't see or talk to anymore, thanks for staying as my friend.
to family, thanks for being there for me and understanding.
to a guy who cares much, thank you for always believing.

Tibetan Personality Test

I ordered these 5 animals in preference:

horse - FAMILY
sheep - LOVE
cow - CAREER
pig - MONEY
tiger - PRIDE

I described these 5 in one word:

dog is playful - describes my personality
a cat is relaxed - describes the one that I am in a relationship with.
rat is dirty - describes my enemies (nyahahahaha.. )
coffee is yummy - describes how i see sex
sea is peaceful - what my life is (a.huh.)

I think of important people in my life and associate them with these colors:

yellow - Kuya Ice - I won't forget this person
orange - Ate Leah - she is my true friend
red - Tita Chi - I love this person.
white - Jan Jen - she's my twin soul
Green - Mom - someone that i will remember for the rest of my life

first day of school?!!??

5am - "THE WAY I ARE" by Timbaland wakes me up....

6am - i start walking towards the 185th bus stop. it's foggy and it's dark. OH WHAT FUN.

7am - i hang around Starbucks on 43rd St.

7:30am - BIOCHEM!!! YEYYYY!! Our first professor has an accent. But I keep imagining hitting myself in the head for sitting on the right hand corner of the classroom. So freaking hard to see well.

8:20am - I'm in Odegaard Library right now, writing this. After which, I shall go to the bathroom to release all the water I downed ever since 5:30am this morning.

GOOD MORNING PEEPS!!

The Ladies that I just love to hate

Samantha Brown

Gisele Bundchen

Rachel Ray

Heidi Klum

Travel? Model? Eat tasty foods? Did I mention travel?

I hate them.

VMA

I'm watching the Video Music Awards on MTV and can I just say the following:

BRITNEY. umm.. yeah, she ain't singing on her opening act. her dance moves, hmm.. she looks like she just doing some flimsy hand action.

HAAA.. where did all the fun go with her? Sarah Silvermann said it right, "She's only 25 and she has accomplished everything that she has to accomplish", ie. shave her head and go to rehab and have kids with some guy.

wehehehehe..

Awesome

THE NEW IPHONE, without the phone

everything i need.

There is more to life than material things.

There is more to life than a job that pays you six figures.

There is more to life than worrying about the smallest things.

I read in a magazine about a husband telling his wife not to worry if the car was not starting. He said, "No one is dying or having a heart attack, don't sweat it, we'll fix it". A man who knows his way with words. A man who lives up to the words "don't sweat the small stuff".

Material things are just that. Material. they cannot be immaterial because if they're mass produced, they're basically something that you can buy again if you lose it. I don't know why we very much thrive in a world where materialism seems to be a form of religion already. I admit, most of the time I tend to gravitate towards being materialistic but thankfully I can control myself, by saying to myself that it should not be like that. I should be happy with what I have.

Do I have everything? No. But I have a family that truly cares for my well being. I have great friends who are there for me in times of need no matter where they are and what they are doing. I have an education that has taught me quite a lot over the past years. I have a job that has taught me how to put myself out into the world. I will soon start a job that will help me save the world.

I don't have everything. But I sure have everything that will make me happy.

Since I work as a PT sales in the clothes, I've taken the action or the responsibility to make myself educated on the elements of style. When people ask me about certain questions about what outfit goes with what or what dress they can wear with what, I sometimes find myself in a rut or should i say, I find myself stammering while giving them answers. I guess it's very different to give style/fashion advice to people who you don't know compared to people that you know.

I've been reading up on this books

Before You Put that On by Lloyd Boston
How to be a Budget Fashionista by Kathryn Finney

and I have these books on hold at the library

Style by Kate Spade
A Guide to Elegance by some french woman who I can't spell the name here right now.

I don't know if the education that I'm gaining is helping the women (and men) who come in the store drowned in self confusion about what to wear and what not to wear.

GAAAHHH...

God, please help me give sound advice as well as good persuasion techniques.

for the lack of a better motivation

There is a 50-50 chance that this might be read by one of my family members, but I don't care. I need to vent this out and I need it NOW.

I can't seem to motivate myself in studying for the MCAT. I try my best to study, but all that gets in my head are just the words that I read. Not the MEANING of the words that I read.

I opted out on self-studying for this test because for one, I cannot afford to pay for classes. Plus, those classes bore the heck out of me, hence, me wanting to only self study. I have the materials in my hand. All I need is to purchase the practice tests. So what's up with the lack of motivation?? This summer is actually the best time to study for this test, but nooooo.. FUCK.

I'm so frustrated right now I can't even form words that will make my frustrations go away.

Risk Management and the Photos

STRESS MANAGEMENT

I got a lesson 101 on how to handle a stressful situation yesterday at work. Working in retail will really show you how to handle stress.. good place to work at when you need some practice on stress management..

Here's the scenario:

Credit card swiper wasn't working.. I had three customers who want to pay with credit card.. LUCKILY they were really patient ones.. they ended up just paying with cash.. but i really felt bad making them wait because i really hate it when other people wait out for me, makes me feel guilty especially if they're doing me a favor..

Thank you God for everything that you put me through today and thanks for the lessons.

FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

I got a credit card two days ago. My mom suggested that I get one so I can build up my credit line. It's a good idea actually, but then again, I really have to be careful with it. I'm scared to use it because you know CREDIT, makes you want to use it because it's just there. But I'm making it a point to limit my usage of it, so for the most part of my usage, I am just going to leave it at the house. My main purpose of usage for it is if I am going to make a big purchase. God, please guide me in controlling myself.

I need to use cash from now on when paying for food.

I need to use debit card for everyday needs and sometimes wants. NOT FOR FOOD.

I need to be savvy. Seriously.

PHOTOS FROM THE PHONE

175th light.. on my way to worky.

Northgate Mall Parking Lot. Clear pic

oh.. the sun is shining.. we don't see the sun 3/4 of the year here in seattle

we see this 3/4 of the year here in seattle, droplets of rain on our cars windows (which we had all week last week.)

me and Reymond.

More pictures coming soon. Canada ones.

work and work

my tired feet.

Yet you don't get paid enough.
and sometimes when you f*** it up, you end up paying for it, HELLA BIG TIME.

Hayyy.. I'm feeling the pain of overworking and being underpaid.

I feel sorry for my poor feet. It's been getting hogwashed for 5 days straight.

I understand now what my mom's work entails.
Although it has some perks, I get to see all the sales in the mall each day I work and I get to have first dibs on it. YAWZA! Although it's bad for my pocket. NYAHAHAHaHAHA..

----

I got a new phone. I'm trying it out for 30 days, see if I like it or not.

LG enV

I don't know if I should keep it yet. I only got it for $85 less the $50 rebate that I have to send if I decide to keep it. The $85 consists of the phone, the car charger, a 512 mb memory, a usb card reader, and a bluetooth handset. NOT BAD!

I like the keyboard set up of the phone, a feature that really caught my eye at first. It also has a 2mp camera, which takes nice pictures. I tested it out and it does take great pictures AND if I wanted, I can opt to have the VZ Navigator for 10 bucks per month, a good alternative to 411 that charges 1.50 per call. But then again, come to think of it it's 10 bucks added to my account.. ssooo.. iono..

i shall think about it.. for now, it's play time..

Career/Job

You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)

You're both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination. You were born to be a doctor.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

I don't know how true this meme can be. But anyway despite the many career quizzes that I will be taking I am for sure that I will be working with people who are in need of help. No matter what kind of help.

(1) Retail Sales Associate

- This job requires you to help people who are in desperate need to find something that they either WANT or NEED. This job requires you to have the ability to persuade and at the same time become compassionate and accomodating to the needs of the customers.

(2) Social Worker

- This job needs a higher level characteristic and/or capability to be able to withstand any cases that come their way. It's a highly stressful job because you deal with different types of people on a daily basis. You deal with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abused, the neglected, and the homeless to name a few. It requires a high amount of empathy and sympathy. It requires a high dose of helping hand.

(3) Army/Navy/Marines

- (1) Fighting wars (2) Protecting the country they serve (3) Helping other people get out of a danger zone (3) Making an evil place heaven. Yeah they pretty much would risk their lives to save the ones that they love and the ones who they don't even know.

There are more jobs out there that have the description of HELPING OTHERS under their pocket. I just named these three because they were the ones that stood out to me the most.

I seriously can't see myself working in any other jobs. Business jobs sucks, Research is cool, but it ain't for my learning/emotional capabilities, Fashion is fun but it gets old sometimes, photography is sweet, but it's too expensive for my taste.

I'm rambling. I have a sample sale to go to tomorrow so I should sleep.

Oh mi gosh. Seattle is having sample sales.

Part 2: Questions

I made myself happy today. I made a goal. YAHOO!

More on the QUESTIONS.

A 34 year-old man presents with AIDS and tells you, as his physician, that he does not want to tell his wife. What would you do?

First of all, I will respect the man's wishes, however, I would caution him about the dangers of not telling his wife about his condition such as the following: First of, he should tell his wife because he can also transmit the virus to her if they were having sexual intercourse. If this happens, and the wife knows nothing about his condition, then it would make her furious and betrayed at the same time. If the man still does not change his mind about it, then I will just let his conscience do the undertaking for him as well as for his wife because like i said from the beginning it is his wishes and for me doctors always must respect patient's wishes, but also at the same time be rational about hwo they would respect the patient's wishes.

If you had three magical wishes, what would they be?

(1) I wish that someone will give me enough money to go to any medical school that will accept me.

(2) I wish to become a person who will respect, honor and treat other people with empathy and sympathy.

(3) I wish to pass on the knowledge that I gained through the years that I was living to the next generation after mine.

Part 1: Questions

I am going to start posting a series of questions that I will be answering in the span of two months or so. I got these questions from a book that I am "trying" to read right now. I will be trying to compile these questions after I have answered them all and try to analyze my answers to each one of them to see how logical and truthful I have explained them.

Let's start with these questions:

Should doctors be allowed to "pull the plug" on terminally ill patients?

Unless the family tells them to do it, I don't think that they should. Terminally ill patients are still people, people who MAY still have a chance to live a life despite of being terminally ill. It may be medically impossible to happen but one should just trust in faith and just let it flow through the veins of the patient as well as through the doctor's vein. And if faith lets you down, let it be that the person die of natural death, not because of plug pulled to end his life. I believe that everyone should die in honor and peace, not because of an easy way out from an authority who knows better.

Would you consider a career in your present course of studies?

I would definitely consider a career in Chemistry. However, I wouldn't really pursue it to the point that I would go to graduate school, earn a PhD and write a letter requesting a grant for the research project that I want to undertake. Honestly, I don't see myself working beyond a mere laboratory technologist or research technologist in the Chemistry field. I have thought about this for a long time, imagined myself being one, but it just didn't seem to feel right for me. My feelings have only been compounded when I started to work for Chemistry-based labs and through my observations of what the research techs and scientists do in these labs, which are highly repetitive and far less interesting than medicine, fashion, or even photography. But don't get me wrong, I respect the scientists that are currently working to make this field a better and more interesting than it was. These scientists have worked their brains and their body for Chemistry to serve a better purpose.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

This is quite the tough question to ask. I think, the quality that I would definitely most likely want to change right now is me being TOO SENSITIVE. By me being such, I tend to overreact, take control, blame others around me, take pity upon myself and the list goes on.. when such quality overpowers me. I know that if it does affects me so much that I might consider changing it. I've been trying, I've been trying ever since it was pointed out to me by loved ones. I don't know how much I should be trying but hey, at least I'm trying. I don't know. Maybe I should, because being too overly sensitive can cause me a lot of trouble ESPECIALLY if I am planning on taking a career in the medical field. I think I should learn how to build a tough yet soft skin around me, in order for me to be alright.

What I'm thinking right now.

I have been working at this job in a field that is quite different from where I'm suppose to stand right now. The big thing I like about it is that I get the chance to hone my conversation skills with complete strangers. I am doing this for four months. I can extend it if I would like, but then again it's a different job than labs who understand my school load.

I have been having problems with myself lately. Hormonal imbalance of the month, I presume. Anyway, I just wish that I can sincerely and truthfully think of myself as someone who CAN do it. I am just not cut out for all those negative stuff. As one of my old, but still friend said, "don't be pessimistic, be optimistic". I know it sounds quite reductive, but it does work. When she said it, she said it in a tone of voice that will make you think about it all the time, I mean how else can I remember those words after 4 (or is it 5? 6? 7?) years of talking about it.

To address the question that has been asked of me by two people now, "Why have I not been posting new photos?".

Frankly, I'm lazy. I have lost the edge and the drive to take new pictures. I don't know why but I have. Probably its the camera that I have been using. Probably its because my computer's hard drive broke down on me that's why I'm scared to put new pictures in it. Probably because the last time I did some photo works, I didn't quite get the praise that I would've like to had.

Whatever.

Maybe it will come back, maybe it won't. Right now, I am passion less. Well, not really. I've been eyeing lots of new shoes lately so umm.. yeah, you could imagine how my pocket will burn after I get my hands on those shoes.

Then again, maybe not. I'm suppose to SAVE UP.

satisfying my mundane cravings through writing

i want to buy shoes.

i saw 2 pairs of shoes that i would like to buy from this store. two pairs of strappy sandals for night outs, both for only less than 30.

i also discovered a website where they sell dirt cheap shoes for less than 30. me want to get a lot. damn.. so hard to not have $. oh well..

white pumps
red pumps
silver flats
gold flats

oh the joy. i might be known as the woman who died with her shoes.

SUMMER TIME!!!! YOWZA!

my own self-righteousness.

here's a picture of a friendship that's based on superficial wants and needs.

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never mind.. i ain't posting something.. i remembered that I am beyond being a bitter fool among all of them.

here's to a summer away from all those dramatic fools (hopefully).

(credits to whoever owns this picture, let me know if you are the one... sorry that i forgot your name.)