Compilation of this Week's...err.. Stuff ...

Fete De La Musique

I wish I was in the Philippines to experience this:

Fete de la Musique

It's a musical event featuring OPM bands from different genres of music.

I'm craving live artist performance, not the concert, but the bar type performance, acoustic performance that is. I hope I'll get the chance to see some after graduating. I hope.



DREAMS

I don't know whether I should believe in dreams or not.

I sometimes find myself not wanting to believe them because of how exaggerated they can get. Yet, sometimes I believe them for they seem to answer the questions that I have in my waking stage.

*
I searched Google about God and dreams and I got this from this:

"After this, I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and daughters shall prophesy: your old men shall dream dreams , and your young men shall see visions in those days I will pour out my spirit upon servants and maidens. I will show wonders in the heavens above, and tokens in the earth beneath: blood and fire, and the vapor of smoke."

Do you believe that dreams are one of the ways God communicates with us?

GRADES

My mom was the FIRST one to look at my spring quarter grades. She asked me, "NAKAPASA KA BA NITO??" (did you pass these classes at all?), I said, "I DON'T KNOW MOM, I HAVEN'T LOOKED AT THEM YET AND I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT THEM AT ALL". I haven't looked at them myself and I don't want to look at them at all. The thought of seeing a much lower GPA than last quarter's one just kills my esteem.

San Juan Island Retreat (06/10-06/12)

This is a story about 15 people, who chose to live in a trailer, within a fifty acre land full of trees and wild animals, for 3 days and to find out how much fun and excitement there will be once the party gets started.
(c) real world theme, with a few words of my own.

Beeyoootifuuulll Town


When we arrived at San Juan, deja vu hit me. You see, this wasn't really my first time on the island. When I was a bit younger, my family and I went on a ferry trip to the island. I remember that we did some walking around the town and base on what my mom tells me, we also did some whale watching too. I couldn't remember that time since it was a bit long ago. But, when I saw the town, everything fell into place in my head.

It is such a nice town. It's like one of those towns where every store and every restaurant that you go into is so cozy and "home-y". The town wasn't that busy at all and I think that the majority of the people I saw were tourists.

The House

The place that we called "home" for three days was an absolute vacation spot. If you just want to get away from it all, and when I mean all, I mean ALL -- this place did not give our cellphones any signal, there was no wifi signal, no shopping malls nearby, no buzzling -- go to this spot.


This place gave us a perfect view of the ocean, sightings of wild animals such as deers and foxes, and a forest perfect for a hiking trip.

Highlights of the Party

1. Awards

The awards night was a pretty funny one. We actually didn't know that we were going to have this activity. It just happened to be sprung up on us when we were all gathered in the living room. The titles of the award given to us were pretty funny. Mine was this:


.... since I'm a big chicken eater.

2. Team Building

The team building event was a fun one too. The deal is that we all have to be partnered up with someone and with that someone you will take turns in leading each other to the beach blindfolded. I was the first to lead mine. I got scared at one point when I saw that I had to lead my partner to this really grubby area that's full of leaves, branches, mosses, thorns and a hole. I was scared because one wrong move that I make him do, something might happen to him (you know who you are.. hehehe.. ).


This activity gave me two lessons: (1) as a guide/leader: you must take care of the one that your are leading and make sure not to break the trust of the one that you are guiding. (2) as the one who is being lead: you must trust that your leader will not let anything happen to you.

The only bad part about this activity was when they told me, when I was blindfolded i might add, that we were close to a snake. DAMN.. that scared the heck out of me.

3. Water Balloon Fight (No Pictures, since I didn't want to go home with a broken camera)

The water balloon fight that we had on the last day that we were there was unexpected, yet fun. When our adviser was leading us to this tree where he carved our club initials on, three guys came out of the trail bushes and started throwing water balloons at us. That got me all fired up so I went inside the trailer and filled a water bottle with hot water to throw at them. And after the water bottle was done, I grabbed the hose and started to spray water at them. YEP. Fun Fun Fun. Fun getting revenge. LOL.

NATURE'S FINEST

I had a field day with my digicam since I was taking pictures of every single natural being that I saw in that place. I saw 2 deers roaming around the trailer grounds. We saw a fox (didn't get a chance to take a picture of it) while we're playing volleyball. And at the end of the team building activity, we walked to the beach.




There, we saw a school of whales swimming around.



It was a relaxing experience, being one with nature and all that crap.It was also fun experiencing sleeping outdoors. I experienced my actual first camping out experience during this retreat. Sleeping in a tent is not bad. hehehe.. I guess it's safe to say that I appreciate nature more now compared to before. I used to hate nature trippings, because I'm afraid of things that crawl, dirt, rain and all that natural events that happen when you do a tripping. But, this island trip changed my whole perspective.

SPENDING IT WITH FRIENDS MADE IT ALL WORTHWHILE.

At first, I wasn't planning on going on this trip for reasons that I can't disclose because I might get killed (hehe). But, when my mom said I could go, which surprised me, I decided to go. It was fun laughing with them and sharing moments with them.




(click on image to see the bigger picture)


After this trip, I realized that I enjoy outdoors-y trips with friends rather than with family. It's much more interesting that way. I'd rather go to Vegas or to California with family rather than go to the beach with them. hehe.. but that's just me comparing... hehehe..

GENERALIZATION ...

My pet-peeves list keeps on growing day by day.

If people assume stuff about someone or something and then let's the whole public know about their "assumptions", without even confirming if it is true or not, I just feel "sorry" for them.

If you have "assumptions", may I suggest to you that you first confirm whether or not your assumptions are true before letting the public know about it.

Confirmation is like science people. Here's how: You first write down your hypothesis (your assumption), then you make observations, then you test out your observations by asking, experimenting or surveying. After you've done all that, then you go make your own conclusions base on the results of your tests.

That's not hard now is it?

I shouldn't say that I'm a saint who doesn't assume at all. I'm also guilty of it. But I know how to control it and I know where I should draw the line.

Finals Week.

I just realized how much rambling I did on yesterday's entry (or I should say entries). I had way too much time in my hands last weekend that instead of studying for the two finals that I will be having on Thursday, all I did was surf, blog, blogread, listen to music and sleep. Hmm.. talk about preparing. I wonder how I will do on those finals? Cumulative finals that is. Damn. Haa.. And now, as you can tell, instead of studying, I'm blogging. This is the reason why I don't like to stay here in my house these days; I never get anything productive done. All I do is work with my computer or sleep. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Ok.. I'm going to sleep.. I'm tired... hehehe.. YEAHH... Ask me on Friday how my finals went and you're most likely will be hearing this from me: "WAAAAAHHHHH".

photos from GO-OGLE

He's HOT. She's HOT.



Put them together in one movie and you'll be ogling like you've never ogled before.

(ahem.. paging amtot .... paging amtot.. )

How To Deal . .

And it's like, every time I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down and
Where it lands is where it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
Coz something's gotta go wrong
Coz I'm feeling way to dam good, oh
Feelin' way too damn good

Sometimes I think best if left in the memory
It's better kept inside than left for good
Lookin' back each time they tried to tell me
Well something's gotta go wrong
Coz I'm feelin' way too damn good
- feeling way too damn good, nickelback

How Cruel People Can Get

What is up with people with leaving their dogs in their cars while they shop, eat, or hear mass??

It just pisses me off whenever I see a dog left in a car while their so-called "best friends" are out flaunting around thinking that their pets can surmount the hotness or coldness that their car can get.

Just leave the dog in your freaking house!

ang dami kong namimiss

i miss my two best friends.
namimiss ko ang mga laugh trips namin.
namimiss ko mga "talks" namin.
namimiss ko silang kausapin.
namimiss ko yung katarayan nilang dalawa
namimiss ko yung tamang "trippings" namin sa isa't isa
namimiss ko yung mga "reality checks"
namimiss ko yung mga "advices" nila

i miss my "closest-to-best" guy friend.
ang tagal na naming di naguusap
namimiss ko yung mga kalokohan namin
namimiss ko yung mga kuentuhan namin about life
namimiss ko syang bara-barahin
namimiss ko rin yung balugaan naming dalawa
namimiss ko rin yung perspective nya tungkol sa mga bagay bagay

Hay.. Life ...

marami kang expectations sa sarili mo
matataas ang tinatry mong abutin
pag di mo naabot
nagdadrama ka
iiyak ka
magrereklamo ka

pag mataas ang expectation mo sa sarili mo
wala ka
lagi ka na lang magiging stressed
lagi ka na lang seryoso

pinarealize na sayo ng ibang tao yan dati
pero hanggang ngaun di mo pa rin ginagawan ng paraan
para maayos

kelan mo gagawan ng paraan?
kapag wala ng tao sa tabi mo
para makinig sa mga reklamo mo?

andyan si God..
nasa tabi mo lang
iniintay ka lang nyang kausapin mo sya tungkol dun
ikaw naman
di mo kinakausap

ang mga ganong bagay ...

di na kelangang ulit-ulitin
di na kelangang pansinin
di na kelangang alalahanin
di na kelangang bigyan ng panahon
nakakapagod kasi
wala kasing kuenta kung pagtutuunan ng sobra sobrang pansin

marami pang bagay ang mas importante
marami pang bagay ang mas dapat bigyan pansin
marami pang bagay ang mas magpapasaya
marami pang bagay ang mas magpapagaan ng loob

Super Late Photos of Southborder

(Forgive the quality of the pictures. I had to zoom in on them since we're far from the stage. Forgive the presentantion also. I'm telling you, playing around with Photoshop at 1:30 in the morning does not create good presentantions.)

This is a very late post about their concert that I attended last year at Baker Hall in UP Los Banos. As far as I can remember, while watching them croon the crowd with their ballads, my friend and I can't stop oogling over Duncan. This band put up a very good show despite their constant change of lead singers.

Greatest Fear Realized

You're afraid that when something good happens to your life, something bad will swoop in and take that good away from you.

Awww.. How Cute is This?

photo c/o: google images

carpa diem

a friend told me to "seize the moment". carpe diem daw. (ahem.. kleia.)

i don't think i can do it. i'm afraid to get hurt. i'm afraid to get burned. i'm afraid that i won't be able to live up to the moment.

hmm.. talk about living a good life.

back to the uptight and rigid moi.....

errr... University of Washington accepted me!! WIHH!!!!!

So.. that entry that I made about me going to Seattle Pacific University ... hehe.. erase it from the memory.. hehehe..

GAIL... SARAH... Please don't kill me... :D

Tragic and Pathetic

another picture post

Stuck in A Moment

"waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought, useless and disappointing."

--- Sam to Austin in A Cinderella's Story

I watched A Cinderella's Story again today. I couldn't do anything today that doesn't involve my bed in it. The upper one quarter of my body is hurting a lot right now. WOOT. Time to see the doctor; the idea that I dread the most.

I watched Star Wars Episode 3 yesterday with friends. It's a better movie than the second one. I'm thinking now that I should rent Episodes 4-6 since I completely have forgotten about what happened in those movies. I watched it like a few years back when I was still a kid.

MMKAI.. Time to go.

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith --- OPENING DAY!!

WHO WANTS TO WATCH IT?? C'MON PEOPLE.. PLEASE.. GO WITH ME.. I WANNA WATCH IT.. BADLY... PLEASEEEE.. PLEASEEE... I'LL BUY YOU POPCORN.. I PROMISE.. JUST WATCH IT WITH ME.. PLEASSSEEEE...

PLEEEEASSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE?????

[*ahem* paging J.J. (",)]

New Song - Heard It from the One Tree Hill TVS

Click this link --->> MP3 <<--- to hear the song.

Mixtape

by: Butch Walker

You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you.
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know...

But you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than
that, about me and you..

You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to her, and you say that you feel
Like he's the one
I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I
Feel, you don't know..

'Cause you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the sad songs ain't so sad
I only wish that there was more than
That, about me and you..

(bridge)
Oh, don't turn around and say bye again
Yeah it crushes my head when you call me
Your friend and I'm not the same person
From back in the day in the back of the
Class that you thought was gay
No I can't find the words 'cause I lost them
The minute they fell out my mouth
And it's love and I'm in it, so give me your
Lips and just let me kiss 'em and let's
Get messed up and listen to probably..

The best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than
That, about me and you

It struck a chord somewhere in me.

You can also hear this song on the One Tree Hill Soundtrack.

Fickle-Fickle

I've been a very fickle person for the past week or so. I delete entries that I post, I change my mind about my major, I change my mind about "other" stuff, and the list just goes on. I'm starting to annoy myself.

The reason why I'm indecisive? I honestly don't know.

But I have my reasons on why I've been deleting entries. First of all, I don't think that their content sends out what I'm really trying to say and second of all, I just thought that they were a bit too shallow.

Anyway, my mom did my laundry again for the second week in a row. I'm not complaining, I just don't want her to do it, I want ME to do it. I told her about it and she just gave me her signature "taray" look and said, "dapat nga mag-thank you ka imbis na magangal ka". So, yes she has a point there, but still, I feel that I'm the one who should be responsible for it since it is my stuff. Hay.. Mothers .. You can't live without them.

A Positive Attitude Coming from A Positive Woman

I admire how my mom handle her problems. I admire how she stays positive in the midst of money problems, health problems and work problems. Just today, she told me: "Di bale na na naoverboard ako sa payment, basta ba maganda ang aking hair".

I wish I had her positive attitude sometimes.

I wish I could say "di bale nang 2.0 ako sa Organic Chem, basta ba nandito ang computer ko sa tabi ko, solve na ko". But it's not always easy to say it, nor is it easy for me to focus on such positive words. There's always this thing called "pessimism" that creeps up on me.

I guess that's life, it's complicated that way.

Mood Swings Galore

We all have it one way or the other. One minute you're happy and the next thing you know you're as sad as the homeless guy living at the corner of 5th Avenue.

Life is complicated that way. You can never figure out what makes your happiness go away in just a blink of an eye. You can never figure out what's bothering your head even if you do a whole lot of overanalyzing and contemplating.

It's hard to face people when you undergo a certain change in attitude. Sometimes, people tend to think that you're just making "drama" or that you're just looking for attention.

Life is so complicated that way.

BIG Realization

I just realized that my dog, Curly, is a BIG WEIRDO.

Here's why:

1. He's afraid of things that are smaller and less stronger than him, i.e., the vacuum cleaner, plastic bags, folding tables, the can of chocolates, and well, I already forgot the other stuff.

2. He still sleeps in this teeny tiny bed that he sleeps in when he was little. Just look:



3. He likes his DRY dog food wet. He hasn't been eating his food dry for the past week and I always catch him eating our other dog's food (which we wet because our other dog can't chew well anymore). So I figured today, why not wet his food with water? So, after I put water in his food, he started eating it. Here's proof:



Is there such a saying as "what the master IS like, IS what the dog will be like"? Cause, I swear if there is one, I will laugh my ass off.

no title

"driving at 160 mph is therapeutic"
"listening to an ipod that is crunked up to high volume is therapeutic"
"crying is therapeutic"
"impulse shopping is therapeutic"

I have done three out of four of these.

When can I do the first one?

is it a risk worth taking? (edited)

(To the ladies and gentlemen who have participated in the mini discussion of this blog entry: A new comment has been made by someone who has gained A LOT OF LESSONS FROM EXPERIENCES IN THE "LOVE" department. I personally think that this comment may help some of you figure out some things that is bothering your head.)

I have a friend who says that he/she will take the risk of telling someone that they "like" (like, meaning, maybe we can be friends, then maybe we can be more than friends) them if it was worth it.

I admire them for that because they're not afraid of the consequences that might come their way if they do tell. They said that even if they get rejected, at least, they won't regret not telling it.

But isn't it paradoxical to think about this? We were always told to guard our hearts from the potential misleads and expectations that can hurt it, but then, we always read or always hear the phrase, "tell them how you feel about them because if you don't, you might regret it in the future".

I think that's where I'm at right now. I'm stuck in between two outlooks where I can't seem to get myself out of.

I guess some of you who are reading this right now, know from experience what I'm talking about.

Therefore, I salute you for the courage to stand right in front of that someone and pretending to be "just a friend" to him or her. I also salute the people, who had the courage to tell their "someone" that they like them.

Asteg kayo!

random song lyrics that can hit your head AND heart

I think I'll go home now it's
been the greatest day thank
you for shedding life to my
fantasy throw me a wicked
smile the one like
yesterday
//
why i can never let you go
so strange extraordinary
why i can never tell you so i
must be dumb why i can
never let this go can't stop
this fun it must be done
- Another Day, Mojofly

2 Am and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake
I don't love him and winter just wasn't my season.
- Breathe, Anna Nalick

After all this time,
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it,
couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
And part of me died when I let you go
- Blind, Lifehouse

short post

I now know what it feels like to get pulled over by the police.

It's a strange yet scary feeling.

Thank God, I was just warned about the current license/registration sticker that was hiding behind the Northwest Hospital plate.

I thought I was going to be ticketed for speeding at a 35 mph street --- I was going 40.

What A Day.

Aura: B-itchy/Cranky

Pahabol: Sa natarayan ko kanina.. kung binabasa mo man 'to. I'm churi! That time of the month e. Patawad. =)

Featuring: SOUND-OFF

I have updated my Music Page blog. Click the link below.

SOUND OFF

The blog has not yet been fully constructed. I'm just way to busy and way to lazy to work with it. But I'll (try) to make it look good soon. For now, just enjoy the audios and the playlists.

The DOCTOR IS OUT

It has been a while since my last doctor's appointment. I can barely even remember what was checked up on me during that time. My mom bugged me about making an appointment last spring break, but I wasn't able to or I would rather say that I didn't want to make it.

Ever since the time I got tested positive for having (dormant) tuberculosis virus and diagnosed with mild scoliosis, I kind of got a little bit edgy when it came to dealing with doctors. Ever since then, I didn't make any check-up appointments and best of all, I didn't follow up if I still had to take medications to fight off the dormant TB virus in my body, I don't go to any physical therapy (I think I still have 3 sessions left with HEALTHSOUTH) nor do I do the exercises that was given to me during the time I was undergoing PT (that MAY or MAY NOT correct my slightly disaligned backbone).

Yes, I'm a walking health rebel. I don't drink milk anymore. I don't take vitamins anymore. I don't get enough sleep at night. I drink coffee. I eat junk food a lot. I don't like going to doctors. I don't want to know if there's anything wrong with my stick-thin body.

A friend told me once, "you're afraid of the doctor, yet you want to become a doctor yourself?".

I told him, "I'm not sure if I still even want to be a doctor".

Is it true that doctors themselves don't want to be checked up on? Is it true? Cause if it is, I'd say I'm a pretty good candidate to become a doctor myself, since I'm reluctant to be checked up on.

I know that I should take care of my body in order to live a long and healthy life.

I'm just being a stubborn little girl awaiting for a sickness/disease/ilness/infection to come haunt and bring me down.

I'm a stubborn little girl. There, I saved you a lot of time and energy from telling me that.

Left:Stubborn Big Dog, Right: Stubborn Girl and Stubborn Big Dog: My attempt in taking a decent picture of me and Curly, I think he doesn't want to take a picture with me, maybe that's the reason why he keeps on moving on every attempt I make.

I'M IN. WOOHOO.

1. It's been two days since that admissions packet from SPU landed on my hands and I think the supposed "rant" that I should have posted two days ago had gone way over my head, in short, it just got played out. So, I will rant no more.

2. I'll be writing a post about friendship, so watch out for that. It's going to be a little dramatic, so prepare yourselves. LOL.

3. I want to watch this movie. The preview for it got me all teary-eyed. Don't ask why, because I, myself have no clue why.


pic courtesy of movies @ yahoo.com

Have a fabuloso week!

*GUSH* --- I'm in hyper mode.. so bear.

I once wrote an entry about this crush that I had on a guy that I rode the bus with.

There's a big improvement or should I say PROGRESS about him that happened today:

He said HI to me today!!! AIIIIYEEE!!! hehehehehehe..

HAAHHHHH.. I'm in heaven..

I'm in heaven because he knows that I exist!! WIIHH!!!

I'm in heaven because he said HI to me!! HAHAHAHAHA..

Ok, before the eye rolling and the throwing up, you have to give me some credit because that is the first time that he ever said a word to me. Well, technically not the first time, because I talked to him once before, when I made a fool out of myself in front of him.. but that's beside the point. My POINT is, HE KNOWS THAT I EXIST.

LOL.

----- moment of bliss over -----

and the WITCHCRAFT keeps piling up...

Friendster featured "horoscopes" as their new feature today. I read mine just for the heck of it and to my dismay this is what it read:

"You've been holding on to a vital, startling piece of information for quite some time now -- and you're ready to hang on to it for even longer, if need be. You might not be able to, however, if anyone else knows -- and if one of those 'anyones' wants to cause some major disruption in your life. Be careful who you let in on the secret. Even if it's someone you adore."

Now seriously, is there something going on around me that I should be aware of? Or am I just paranoid? See, this is what happens when you read into horoscopes and fortunes, THEY MAKE YOU PARANOID!!! GRRRR...

There's something about this "horoscope read" that hit me, hence, me getting all paranoid. I won't go into anymore detail about it.

(YAY!! I'm through with writing about personal stuff!! HE.HE.HE.).

The Fortune Lies.

We ate at Fushen today to celebrate my sister's birthday (her birthday was yesterday, but we celebrated it today with some of the family). As you good people know, Chinese restaurants always give out fortune cookies (and sometimes sliced oranges) at the end of the meal. So I got my share at the end of our yummylicious meal, and this is what it read:


I wonder what that "something" might be?

I usually don't believe fortune cookies or fortunes in general. I think they are pieces of crap lying around this lovely planet trying to screw people's mind up. But, today my whole value of not believing in fortunes just turned upside down when I read that fortune cookie's fortune. Is this a sign from UP THERE? Is this a sign that I've been asking for?

Haaayyy.. who knows.. it might be just one of those crappa fortunes.

Have a good week y'all.

P.S.:

"Thus, fear of danger is ten thousand times more terrifying than danger itself, when apparent to the eyes; and we find the burden of anxiety greater, by much, than the evil which we are anxious about:"

I just read this quote today, found it from the tagboard of a friend's blog. I looked the whole quote up in the internet. I think God is telling me something, I don't know what though.

Trippin'

I seldom watch TV anymore. The only time that I watch TV is if The OC or One Tree Hill is on, no more beyond that.

I stopped watching TV for two reasons: (1) I've become a certified computer nerd, and (2) There are too many reality shows in every channel that I look at.

Today, as I was eating lunch, I channeled my tv to MTV. The station was showing a season finale of "The Ashlee Simpson" show, I decided to watch it since I (sometimes) enjoy watching the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

After the show, another reality tvs came on. It was titled "Trippin'". It was produced and starred by Cameron Diaz, one of the most highly paid actors in Hollywood. At first, I thought it was going to be another one of those 'celebrity life' reality shows. But then, as the intro credits rolled in, she introduced it as a show that will show countries, which she and a group of her personal friends will travel into, that are environmentally endangered.

Here's the show's taglines:

Cameron Diaz and a group of her close, personal friends think globally and act globally too as they travel to unlikely getaways...from Chile to Yellowstone, on a quest to safeguard the environment. No Hotel, no Pilates instructors...they will pack their own bags and carry them into the wild.

The show got me interested because I myself have become interested in travelling, but truth be told, I was only interested in the words "travelling to see" not in the words, "travelling for a cause/reason". But after watching one episode of that show, I started to think about "travelling for a reason".

We usually read or hear stories about people who travel into "third world" countries to see what's going on in the culture, environment, or lifestyle of those countries and when they come back home, they have this new sense of thinking or well being caused by observing and experiencing first hand what the lifestyle of such countries have. They start to think that the dramas that they go through in life is nothing compared to the people in those countries. I, myself, have heard a number of stories and each time I hear them, they never fail to inspire me.

As you scroll through the right pane of this blog, you will see a list of websites of the countries I would like to travel into "when I grow up". If you go through that list, you will see that they are countries that are travelled by many because of their richness of "places to see". I'm starting to contemplate of adding another list of countries, countries that are less fortunate in the realm of "places to see" but more fortunate in the realm of culture, diversity and people who considers -technology and city life- as unfamiliar territory to them.


Richmond Beach Saltwater Park

After I took this picture, I thought it was a photograph gone bad. But when I uploaded it, I thought of it as a painting. HEH.

I'm Amazed Again.

Transparent Photography

ASTEG SYA!!! GO AND LOOK!!

How To Make The Most Out Of Your Spring Break

1. When you're going through a lot of drama, i.e. messed up priorities; messed up grades @ school; messed up values; messed up head; messed up love(?)life; etc., and you don't want to cry over them, arm yourself with a lot of cash and go to the mall.

2. When there's nothing better to do at home, go out and grab a bite at your nearest fastfood chain.

3. If you haven't seen your relatives (your sister or your brother, for instance) for a while, schedule a meet with them. Have some coffee, eat dinner, shop, have a movie marathon, and talk to them about the boy who makes your heart skip

4. Spring Break doesn't mean a break from your friends. Spring Break means hanging out with them. Go to the beach, have a spontaneous bbq cookout, and enjoy a week's worth of bonding without school getting in the way.

5. Do RnR with MnM (Translation: Rest and Relax with Me and Myself). Go shopping, watch DVDs, tinker with your computer, catch up with Friendster or Myspace (Do TWICE the catching up, since you're on a break), listen to music, download music, drive around --- do whatever that satisfies your fancy.

Hope you college guys and girls had a fun and restful break.



Richmond Beach Saltwater Park
March 25, 2005

I'd Be Lying If I Said I'm OK

If y'all read the melodramatic entry I wrote before this one, you'll know what I mean by the title.

Yes, I'm still not OK, but at least I had some time to contemplate about things that has been bugging me and to calm my nerves down a notch. Unfortunately, contemplating and calming down has gotten a bit too expensive for me. You see, last Monday, I went shopping at Alderwood Mall. I ate my heart out at Forever 21, Wet Seal, Icing, and Jamba Juice. Yet, Alderwood wasn't enough for me, so I went to Northgate mall to oogle some more at Rave and Payless.

The next day, I thought I had given up on shopping. But no, I went to Ross (right by Northgate place) and fell in love with a ton of tops. HAA.. Too bad I blew all my money the day before so I only bought two tops there. Then, I went to Marshalls and saw another cute top and of course, being the impulsive me that I am, I bought it too.

So, it has been an interesting two days. Two days of contemplation, exercising (my legs and my wallet), and eating my heart out on the cutesy tops that my stores sell. Although, I'm broke as a bum, it did a lot of help in lowering my stress level.

"Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough
You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight"
--- Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own, U2

Last note,

I saw my winter quarter grades today and can I just say, how interesting it is that my Chem Lab grade is higher than my Chem subject grade. HEH.

When Everything Goes Tough.. I Get Bitchier..

Disclaimer:

UBER-PERSONAL ANG ENTRY NA 'TO. KAYA KUNG IISIPAN NYO KO NA ANG SIRA-SIRA KO PARA MAGLAGAY NG ISANG NAPAKAPERSONAL NA ENTRY.. WELL.. I DON'T GIVE A SH*T.. BLOG KO 'TO AND I CAN WRITE WHATEVER I WANT IN IT.

***

I'll write this entry in Tagalog, because it will sound MUCH better.

Unfair ang buhay. Alam nating lahat yun. Hindi lahat ng bagay puwedeng mapasaatin. Hindi lahat ng bagay puwedeng mangyari according to our standards. Hindi lahat ng bagay makukuha sa iyak, sa galit o sa lungkot.

Ganon ang buhay e. Minsan masaya, minsan malungkot. Minsan parang gusto mo ng mamatay, minsan parang gusto mong mabuhay ng matagal.

Maraming bagay ang gumugulo sa isip ko ngayon, mga bagay na hindi ko dapat bigyan ng matinding pansin dahil sila'y mababaw na bagay lamang. Ngunit minsan, gusto kong lunurin ang sarili ko sa kanila. Gusto kong gawan ng paraan para mawala sila sa utak ko.

Walang-wala ako ngayon. Nawawala sa road. Kung baga, nasa dead end ako. Wala akong mapuntahan. Walang priorities na sinusunod, tapos ang mga values ko sa buhay parang wala nang saysay.

Ang dami dami ko nang pagkakamaling nagawa. Mga pagkakamali na dapat kong ihingi ng tawad sa Diyos, pero di ko ginagawa. Ang dami dami kong iniisip na mali, pero hindi ako humihingi ng tulong sa Diyos para alisin ang "malisyoso" kong pagiisip.

Sinasarili ko lahat ng problema. Hindi ako humihingi ng tulong. Kahit gusto kong umiyak hindi ko ginagawa dahil ayokong makita ng mga tao na malungkot ako o isipin nila na nagiinarte ko. Alam ko sinabi ko na wala akong pakelam sa mga iniisip sakin ng mga tao, pero sorry, nagpakaplastic lang ako, me pakelam din ako.. ng konti.

Sinabi nga sakin ng isa kong kaibigan, "pag sinasarili mo yang mga problema mo, walang mangyayari sayo.. kelangan mong isabog yan.. kungdi ikaw ang talo sa huli". Ewan ko. Minsan mas gusto ko na lang kimkimin kesa sa magsabi ng problema, mas feel ko yun e.

Sabi nung lalake dun sa movie na "Perfect Opposites":

"Why do girls always need to talk things through? Why can't they just keep the problems to themselves and just die of a heart attack?"

Baligtad ako. Mas gusto ko pa atang mamatay sa sakit sa puso kesa sa ilabas ko ang problema ko sa mundo.

Relatively New Things in My Life (backlogged entry)

iBook G4 Laptop


Ibook G4
Originally uploaded by angeloraine.

It's the laptop that I bought out of spontaneity and rushness, but all is worth it because it hasn't done anything to anger my technologically-challenged self. Well, there's actually one downside, the Mac version of Yahoo Messenger, sucks. The PC version is so much better with all the animated emoticons, the Launchcast radio, and the games you can play with whoever you are conversing with. It's also not voice capable. How sucky is that?

As for my PC, I haven't sold it yet. HEHE.. I'm having separation anxiety syndrome.. hehehe.. excuses, excuses.. I'm just not paying that much attention to selling it. Hopefully during spring break, I'll be busy hunting down buyers.

iPod Mini


Mini Ipod
Originally uploaded by angeloraine.

My cousin Inee both this for her husband, then her husband wanted the newer 6gb version, so she proposed to sell this to me. I caved, because it's blue and it's the iPod that I always wanted.

Spring/Summer Clothes

I've been shopping non-stop for the past month now. It's a good therapy for my damaged brain and aching heart. But I'm already feeling the day that I will be broke. I'm telling you, it's getting close.

Adobe Photoshop Elements and 7.0v

I have both software installed in my notebook, but I haven't played with it since the day I've installed both. But since spring break is coming, I might as well take advantage of them. Hopefully I don't get lazy. But who gets lazy when you have a computer sitting on your lap instead of you sitting in front of a computer?? Get the picture?

Current Obsessions:

Songs... Songs.. and more Songs.. Seriously, I have spent so much dough on iTunes. I'm hooked! I swear! Thank God, I don't bring money with me when I went to BestBuy last Wednesday. HAAYYY.. Music is life, I'm telling you. It's life.

Spring Break Fever

Since I'm not going anywhere out of state, I might as well enjoy my one-week break on going places such as Greenlake Park, Downtown, and University Village. I hope the weather is not gloomy. I want some sun (sans the wind) in Seattle!

Lastly,

The song "Obsession" by Frankie J. suits me well. HEH. Well, technically I'm not obsessed with something. I'm just.. how do you say it? Endeared? Emotionally attached? Infatuated? Hmm.. who cares??

"Amor , no es amor (if this aint love)

More than my feelings (what am i doing wrong)

Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)

Its just an illusion that i have in my heart"

PAHABOL!!!

To all graduating students this year (high school and college),

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Special Attention to: Nica, Joelle, and Ginett .... Congrats sa inyo! =)

My OTHER Blogs

I decided to make separate blogs of my two passions: music and photography.

Sound Off

- This blog will feature playlists of songs that I constantly listen to and will also contain lyrics of songs that I play on my Ipod repeatedly.

Photo-Lage

- This blog will feature photographs that I've taken from the past, the present and maybe future ones. It's sorta like a photojournal. It's my replacement to my deviantart page.

Both are still underconstruction. But tomorrow, after my Chem final, I will start tinkering with them.

I hope you stay tune for them.

Heaven vs. Earth

"This world is not our home; we are looking forward to our everlasting home in heaven."

--- The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

In the beginning, this world was pure. But when Eve ate the forbidden fruit, impurity started to become prevalent. The world became a much colossal place. It became rigid and shallow. It became a zone for wars and terror. It became a breeding ground for sensationalized "breaking news". It became materialistic and less thankful. It became a place where hurt and loneliness surpasses the feeling of happiness and freedom.

This world has become a painful place to live in ever since sin was born. There's too much stress, too much pain and too much pressure. Time here is always wasted on emotions that are superficial. Energy is always wasted on overanalyzing things that are not suppose to be overanalyzed.

Heaven, on the other hand, is where clarity strikes. It is a place where happiness and freedom prevail. It is a place where sin no longer exist. It is a place where you can see God smiling at you saying, "you belong better here than you do on Earth."

I want to see Heaven.

. . . kasi sa Heaven, hindi ako masasaktan
. . . kasi sa Heaven, walang gulo, walang away
. . . kasi sa Heaven, nandon si God para bantayan ako ng mabuti
. . . kasi sa Heaven ko lang mararamdaman ang tunay na kasiyahan

I know there's a reason why I'm still living on this planet. I know that God wants me and the rest of the people in this world to feel and learn from every worst feeling this world has to offer.

I can't wait to go to Heaven. I can't wait to go home. I can't wait to be happy forever.

I Love Spring Movies!

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
May 16



Sin City
April 1

I want them, but I can't have them

At least at the moment . . .

+ Starbucks Toffee Nut Frappucino
+ Starbucks Decaf Toffee Nut Latte
+ Pho (AGAIN!)
+ A new layout for this blog.

I don't want to work today. I'm lazy. I just want to go home and sleep and then just come back to school to attend my Organic Chemistry night class.

I just want this quarter to end. I want SPRING BREAK! Too bad I'm not going anywhere during that week. If I had the chance (and the $$) I would fly my ass to California and visit my cousins there. I haven't seen them since my uncle's (dad's bro) funeral, which was two years ago.

What else can I blab about?

OH! I have 17 credits registered for next quarter. Suicidal don't you think? HEH. A math, a science, and a design class. WHOOPEE!! 17 credits!!

Glass-Shattering Experience

For the most part of my life, I have not experience any major or minor physical injuries. The extent of injury that I only suffered through was a mere scratch on my leg, from tripping on something, or cramps, when I stretch too much.

But today, it was more than a scratch on the leg and crampy arms. They were two open wounds, one on my right forefinger and the other on my right foot; red marked scratches all over my left and right arm (well, most of the marks were on my right hand); and red marked scratches on my right leg.

Here's the flow chart version of the event that caused my injuries:

I was taking a shower ----> I opened the shower door to get a facial wash ----> I accidently slammed the shower door ----> I finished showering ----> I open shower doors, but to my dismay they won't open (gliders were apparently out of place) ----> I tried re-aligning the doors ----> While re-aligning, I suddenly got all claustrophobic (is that spelled right?), consequently making me impatient with the non-moving doors ----> I pressured one door to slide ----> CRASH! Shards of glass came raining down all over me.

Thank God, they only screwed up my arms, hands and legs.

I guess the statistic is true: The most accident prone area in the house is the bathroom.

Hmm.. I think that experience was a sign. HEH.. I gotta start being extra careful when driving.

To people with glass shower doors: BE GENTLE WITH THEM! DON'T SLAM THE DAMN DOORS! OR ELSE . . .

One-Two Step

i take one step..away
and i find myself coming back
to you
my one and only
one and only you...

--- Your Song by Parokya Ni Edgar

It's not only a "one step" for me but it's a hundred steps and somehow I always find myself coming back. Two hundred steps back.

It's hard to step back when something is always around you.

It's hard to move back when you know that that something can tear you up in just a blink of an eye, or in words or even in action.

It's always a "push and pull" situation, I don't know where I should stand.

"It hurts when reality strikes your back. But what hurts the most is that you didn't do anything to prevent reality from hitting you hard."


I have to start writing again. I edited this entry 5 times today because of all the grammatical flaws I encountered everytime I reread it. It's amazing what three months of freewriting (meaning BSing my entries for the past 3 months) can do to my writing skills. Wait, scratch that, do I even have writing skills?

It's a wet Wednesday morning

The alarm woke me up at an ungodly hour today, 6 am. But I didn't hit the off botton until it was about 6:45am. HEH. It's raining today. A day to be reflective.

Anyway, I don't have my Botany lecture class at the usual 11:30a, since the Wednesday lab group is taking a tour at the UW Botany place at around 12am. The only day when I actually wanted to attend lecture and she cancels class. Blech. Anyway, at least I have time to go to the open lab and scan through the slides for next Thursday's lab practical, which I have get a 3.0+ grade on. I haven't even looked at my tabulated grades for that class yet, I'm too afraid to do so, too afraid to see a failing one. WAAAHHH.

Tomorrow, I have my final midterm for my organic chemistry class. Another test that I have to ace, or at least, a test that I need to get an 80% on. I don't really want to have two failed midterms (I bummed my 2nd midterm) for that class. I want to get at least a 3.0 (or maybe 3.3) grade for that class, or else my fate in the universities I applied for transfer will be flushed out the toilet.

After my lab lecture for org.chem (which took forever to finish) last night, I had to rush to Red Robbins to join my friends because we were celebrating Cess' birthday. Her birthday was actually last Monday, but since some of us couldn't attend a Monday shindig, we decided to do it on Tuesday. Anyway, like I said, I rushed to the restaurant to join what was left of the party. They were eating already when I arrived. I didn't have the energy nor the mood to order food anymore, so I just watched them eat. But when dessert came, I just had to jump in and eat some, mud pie ala carte baby!

My head ached last night, too much fast food perhaps? HEHE. Anyway, I feel ok now. Thank God.

Have to go and eat na because I'm going to school early. I'm going to study there. I somehow can't study in my own room anymore. Don't know why.

To everyone who's anyone who has finals coming up: May GOD grant you determination and wisdom.

Botany. Me Love Botany.

Currently listening to: Going Crazy by Natalie

I just finished typing out a table of the Eukaryotic Phylums and their taxonomic characteristics (Don't even try to decipher what I just said, I can't even decipher it myself). I couldn't sleep, so I decided to study more for my Botany quiz that will happen later at 11:30 am. I know I'm suppose to be sleeping na, because, as many elderly or more experienced people say, sleep can get you to do good on an exam. Hayy.. I'll just leave this exam tomorrow kay God.

Men, Biology can sometimes be a bitch. I don't know why I even like the subject. Oh, Yeah. because it's interesting.

Anyway, I'm starting to worry about my grades again. It's not even finals yet and I'm starting to worry.

I don't know. Pag bumaba pa yung CGPA ko, I don't think I can handle it anymore. WAAHH..

Anyway, I gotta go. Need some sleep. I have four alarm clocks that will wake me up later.

Have a good week y'all!

I LOVE BOTANY!

10 REALLY random things about me:

+I'm a freak of nature. I sleep at 5 am in the morning and CAN wake up at 5 pm in the afternoon.
+I love Starbucks's Toffee Nut Flavoring.
+I love to eat, even though it doesn't show on my body
+I have this ability to feel and know things that are happening around me to which I don't personally know of. Woman's instinct as they call it.
+I have discovered recently that I enjoy watching DVDs
+I love Sex and the City
+I love Friends
+I have way too many pairs of sandals
+I can be awake for 24 hours straight.
+I love to shop
+I'm good at hiding sad feelings and feelings in general
+I don' like plastics (people or the thing that shopping places use)

9 ways to win my heart:

*Make me laugh.
*If you're patient with my ever changing moods, then you'll win me over
*Shop with me without any complaints
*If you can stand me not talking for 1 whole hour, then i will love you forever
*If you're passionate about photography or music, you got me
*If you have this really really cute smile. I can't resist smiles that are cutesy
*If you can get along with my cynical cousins and siblings AND parents.
*If you can get along with my friends
*If you don't bitchslap me, I will love you forever and ever.

8 things I carry (and wear) everyday:

:: bag
:: lipgloss
:: hair comb
:: pressed powder
:: wallet
:: keys
:: cellphone
:: clothes

7 things that annoy me:

:: sales people who are rude, bitchy, and incompetent
:: discrimination
:: computer that decides to freeze, crash or stop
:: promises that are made, then broken (I HATE THIS!)
:: people who I BARELY EVEN KNOW who mocks me by saying "baka mabali buto mo" or "baka lalo kang pumayat".. It irritates me to the core when they do that.
:: people who obssesses about things
:: (sometimes) neurotic people annoys the heck out of me.

6 places I've visited:

:: New York (I wanna go back)
:: LA
:: Las Vegas
:: Baguio, Philippines
:: Seattle
:: Vancouver, Canada

5 things I want to do before I die:

> Have a gallery of my photos
> Write a book
> Do medical research
> Travel Europe
> Travel Philippines

4 things I'm afraid of:

! God
! getting hurt
! losing someone i love
! snakes

3 things I do everyday:

/internet
/sleep
/pseudo-study (when I'm in school)

2 things I'm trying not to do now:

= slack off
= waste my time on non-productive things

1) person I want to see now:

Two people : MY NIECES.

La.Di.Da.

I'm currently thinking about changing my blog's header. It's been a while since I've made a change in this blog. Hmmm.. When I get inspired, I will change it, that is if I get enough patience to work with Photoshop. I'm a newbie with it, so I'm kind of having a hard time trying to adapt myself with it.

The quarter's almost over. There's going to be a lot of changes that will happen in spring, i.e., changes in my club, changes in my circle of friends, changes in choices.. there's A LOT.

Changes, changes. Hmm. Last time I checked, I was not a very big fan of "change". It usually takes me a while to get use to changes, no matter how big or small it is.

Hmm.. Ewan ko.

La lang.. nageesep-esep na naman ako. Sometimes I tend to analyze things too much. HEHE.. Guess that concept or attitude about me is not new to some of you.

On another note, do you think fate is real? I always tell my friends these sayings: "everything happens for a reason" and "if you guys are meant for each other, in the end you guys will end up with each other". I always tend to tell them such sayings without me even contemplating on whether or not I believe in such sayings. Ewan ko. Just a thought that sprung out of my head all of a sudden.

What else can I say? Hmm.. I'm thinking of not working next quarter. Working in the chemistry lab makes my mind (and back) go nuts. I'm always either standing up or walking around the stock room and the labs. It's exhausting and sometimes, the work that I do there gets a little repetitive. But I'm thankful I tried out that line of work. It got me to decide that setting up experiments and washing lab glasswares is not the work I want to do in the next ten years or so.



(This entry is written out of randomness. I can't really form an insightful one right now.)

last minutes of my day...

"lht nagbabago. kaya dpt matututnan ntin i-adapt ung srli ntn. life without change is not life at all.bsta, impt, d2 prin kmi aftr evrything.."

----- this is what my friend told me after I sent her a note about...something.

it's true. life without change,is, after all, a boring life. i just have to learn to live with such truth. i've been dependent on people around me for some time now, so, i've got to start learning how to live an independent life.

after all, i'm already 19 years old.

Thank You God for Another Year . . .

Well.. well.. this is my last "teen" year.

Hmm.. I'm out of words.

I just had to post something.

I had an interesting birthday. VERY VERY INTERESTING (friends, you know what i mean by this).

I was touched by the plethora of greetings I received from the other side of the world and of course, from this side of the world.

Anyway, I will post pictures of my birthday bash once I complete my schoolwork and work work for this week (or maybe even next week). I'm gonna be really busy since the quarter is almost over.

Anyway, I leave you this song:

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
by U2

Tough, you think you`ve got the stuff
You`re telling me and anyone
You`re hard enough

You don`t have to put up a fight
You don`t have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone

And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I... that`s alright
We`re the same soul
I don`t need... I don`t need to hear you say
That if we weren`t so alike
You`d like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone

And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own

I know that we don`t talk
I`m sick of it all
Can you hear me when I Sing,
you`re the reason I sing
You`re the reason why the opera is in me

Where are we now?
I`ve got to let you know
A house still doesn`t make a home
Don`t leave me here alone

And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
Sometimes you can`t make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own

Kids just being Kids

LOOK UP IN THE SKY!


Isn't this the sweetest thing you've ever seen?


I haven't figured out how to put borders in Photoshop. I'm too lazy to do so.

Have a good week y'all!!

A Day Worth Remembering..

Happy Valentines Day, everyone! I hope y'all had a wonderful day spent with family, friends, and significant others.

This year's Hearts Day is the most memorable of all the Hearts Day I celebrated before. The sight of my girlfriends and my guy friends smiling this day just made it all memorable for me. Usually, some people tend to get all mushy-gushy because they don't have any "valentine", but my friends weren't those people and I'm sure glad that they didn't become that.

Today, I know that I made my girlfriends smile. I gave each of them a pair of tulips, peach and yellow tulips, which signifies appreciation and friendship. I didn't give anything to my guy friends, but that's because I know that they wouldn't want to carry flowers around school. I just gave them my very best Valentines day greeting.

The best part of this day was the snow that came falling down early this morning. I got awe-struck and giddy inside when I saw the snow. Too bad, it dried out even before this day could end.

I think the snow changed my view about the true meaning of Valentines day. I still think that it is a day where people have an excuse to get laid or to receive/give extravagant gifts. But, I realized that spending this day with family and friends, without the gift-giving and flower-giving, makes it all worthwhile to celebrate it.

Again, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to y'all.

It's the PERSONAL STATEMENT, y'all! (FINALLY!)

In the two years of studying in Shoreline Community College, I have come to appreciate things that really matter.

At the start of my educational career, my parents have instilled upon me that I should do my best to get high grades. They expected a lot from me; if somehow a not-so high grade prints out on my report card, they get all antsy and tell me that I should do better next time. At first, I wasn’t too keen on them putting a lot of pressure on me, but I started to grow into it. I vied for the highest grade that I could possibly get in every subject. I wanted to be in the 90-100 percent range of the grade system, any number below 90 was just not good enough for me.

When I became a senior in high school, I started applying for colleges. As I look through the requirements and the expectations that each college application have written out, I was a bit surprise or rather shocked to find out that “good” grades was not enough for an admission to a reputable/respectable college. I stressed on and on about why universities need to see community work and extracurricular activities, when I have a CGPA of 3.6. I angrily ask every person I talked to then, “isn’t good grades not enough of an evidence that I’m a good student who deserves a spot in the admitted students list?”

When I started studying at Shoreline Community College (SCC), I began to experience the trauma of getting low grades. I became hard on myself and I got stuck in a black hole known as “self-pitying”. Then one day I had an epiphany, one that I had when I, along with a group of friends, performed for a group of elders at a nearby nursing home. I realized then that grades that I get from every courses that I take are not that important but what is more important is applying what I have learned in each subject into real life experiences. It was more of sharing what I know and what I’ve learned to the community that is around me. After that time, I made one of the most liberating and intelligent decision, I decided to not pay too much importance on the number that I receive, but rather appreciate and apply the vast information that I have learned in a four cornered room to the immeasureable world out there.

After I’ve realized that real world experience was more important, I started to volunteer more openly and without the notion of “I have to volunteer, in order for my college applications to look nice”. I’m currently a member of the Asian Pacific Islander Club at SCC and whenever an opportunity to get myself involved in the community arises during our meetings, I sign my name up to join in. I, along with the other club members, have participated in the Christmas food drive of St. Mark’s Church, located here in Shoreline, for the St. Vincent de Paul charity. We also participated in the toy drive that was held at the Child Haven Center, located in Downtown Seattle. We also performed Christmas carols for a group of elders at the FOSS home located in Greenwood, Seattle. Such volunteer opportunities that I participated in has given me a sense of what I really love to do, which is helping people.

We all started to think about what we want to be when we grow up when we were only five years old. But during that time, we were naive and innocent little kids. We didn’t know what the “real world” was really about. But as we grew older, the world started awakening us more, consequently making us think more seriously about what we really want to be. I chose Biochemistry as my major because I know I can do so much with such broad major. It can be a stepping stone to medical school or a background for a job application to a biotechnology firm, both of which can be a good way to help people out. However, I haven’t formally decided on what I’m going to do once I earn my degree I still don’t know how to choose between going to medical school or just apply to local biotechnology firms to do research work.

I choose to apply for transfer to University of Washington because I feel certain that I can choose my path in life once I start exploring the curriculum in Biochemistry. The program gives its students the opportunity to explore ways to apply the knowledge that they have gained from their courses through research studies in the university’s own research facilities or the biotechnology companies that surround the school. As for the students who are taking Biochemistry as a stepping stone to medical school, they have an easy access to the Children’s Hospital that is near to the university, where they can volunteer or work to gain clinical experience.

I may not have a decision on what I’m going to do my life in the next ten year or so. But I know that my admission to University of Washington will help me decide on what my path will be.

Statement?? WHAT STATEMENT??

I'm suppose to finish my UW transfer application that is due 4 days from today (don't worry, it's an online application). I'm dreading the last part of it. It's the "personal statement" part. I have the draft of it, well, actually, the PARTIAL rough draft. I'm not feeling very inspired to write something profound about my life today. Wow, for once, I'm not being banal.

WEHEHEHEHE..

The friends went to Woodinville today to watch a friend's concert. I didn't go. Woodinville's too far. Besides she's gonna have another concert on the 26 in Lynwood (more details on this later).

CIAO!

The One You Love or The One Who Loves You

A friend once asked me this question: "If you see two people hanging for their lives on a cliff and you see that these two people is THE ONE YOU LOVE and THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU, who would you save?".

In times when you're in a position to make a choice on the spot, you are bound to make an impulsive one. Fortunately, I didn't make any, because I didn't know how to choose.

What if you're in a situation wherein the ONE WHO LOVES YOU tells you that he will always be there no matter what, even if he knows that you love someone else? How would you entertain him? How would you treat him? And what if he tells you that he will help you get over your feelings for the ONE YOU LOVE?

For me, I'd rather not entertain the thought of THE ONE WHO LOVES ME "waiting" around for me or "helping" me get over my feelings for the ONE I LOVE. To me, I'd rather not let him waste his time or even energy on helping me out. To me, getting over the feelings for the ONE I LOVE, is a one-person deal. A one-person deal, because it is solely up to me if I still want to waste my time oogling/gushing/mushing over the thought of the "PERSON I LOVE". It is I, who has the sole job of gathering enough strength and desire to wash away the feelings and not another person.

Hmmm.. another mushy note from yours truly. I guess all the hype about Valentines Day, which is coming up pretty quickly by the way, got me thinking about certain things and come to think of it, I already swore off V-Day. Wait, scratch that, I swore off anything that spells or exudes ROMANCE. It gives me the "ick". Well, except for one thing, if someone gives me a bear hug (you know, a hug coming from the back), I would think of that as a sweet gesture. I used the term "sweet", because like I said ROMANCE/ROMANTIC gives me the "ick". HAR HAR HAR.. Ang gulo ko 'no??

So to people who thinks ROMANCE is not "ickful": HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! (Hey, I wouldn't want you guys attack me with forks and clubs.. WEHEHEHEHE....)

An Addition to My PET PEEVES Family

In my last entry, I talked about this entry that I read concerning a "la hater" hating the guts of a "la writer". I happen to visit the link once again today and saw that there were more than many ANONYMOUS offensive/war-starting comments coming from left and right.

My gosh. Is this how people fight these days?? I swear, it gets on my nerves. I know that in order to comment in LIVEJOURNAL (or any blogs for that matter), you need to have a "screen name". And maybe, 3/4 of the people who commented on that entry was too lazy to make one, but is it too much if they put their NAMES at the end of their comments???

I know I shouldn't be judging , but c'mon now, almost all of the comments posted there were hateful/bitter/harsh. And sure, "la hater" deserved some of those comments, but don't you think she deserves to know kung kanino nangagaling yung sumbat sa kanya?? Buti pa yung "la writer" na naging target nung entry na yun e, at least she had class by putting her name at the end of her comment.

Me bago na naman akong pet peeve:

I don't like it when ANONYMOUS people post hateful/offensive comments in blogs.

Oh, and yes, I admit that I'm a bit of an eavesdropper aka. CHISMOSA (so SUE ME). I wanted to know if ms. "la hater" updated already. WEHEHEHEHE...

CAT FIGHT! meeeeeeeyyyyooowwww!!!

It's interesting how mean and catty people can get.

Nabasa ko 'tong blog entry na 'to kahapon lang. The entry is entirely about the blog owner bashing a magazine writer's supposed "kaartehan" or whatever.

Here are two 'things' that got on my nerves after reading this entry for the nth time in a row:

1) The blog owner wrote a VERY OBVIOUS hateful entry about the writer's "antics" or whatever you call it. By the looks of the write-up, I thought that the owner should've just added the name of the writer somewhere in that entry. Kung mababasa nyo yung entry, malalaman nyo talga kung sino yung nilalait nya e, well that is kung binabasa nyo yung blog nung writer na yun. Isa pa, dun sa comment box, kinoment nya: "Do you have an idea who I was talking about? Baka masyadong obvious kung sino, her sister's in LJ pa naman." Pagka-tanga naman. EWAN.

2) The very last comments made on that entry by some people really irked me. Most of the comments bashed the blog owner for being mean/catty/disrespectful/walang breeding/a cow. Yung ibang comments naman, pinagtatanggol yung blog owner. Feeling ko nga magkakaron pa ng war dun sa comment box na yun e. So anyway, yung kinainis ko dun sa comment box na yun e eto: kung babasahin nyo yung pinakahuling mga comments, makikita nyo na nagaargue sila sa isa't isa. In short, nagsasagutan sila. Yung kinainis ko dun e, yung mga NAMES/NICKNAMES nung mga nagsulat ng comments na yun hindi man lang nila pinapakita.. 'lam nyo yun? kung makikipagargue kayo or makikipagaway kau sa mga tao, dapat ipakita nyo kung sino kau diba?? tingin ko kasi sa mga nagtatago under the name ANONYMOUS, is duwag.. makikipagaway ka sa mga tao, tapos hindi mo sasabihin kung sino ka? Such BS.

HAYY.. ang blogging world. Nawawala na yung "zest".

It's FALL QUARTER '04 all over again

The procrastinating, the cramming, the tiredness, the tamaditis-ness, the social life comes first-ness, the lack of priorities, the lack of self-control, the lack of focus, and their relatives.

I stopped whining about my pseudo-love for a person a week ago. Now I'm starting to whine again and this time it's about school work. AGAIN. I went down this road before, if you scan (which I know you won't) my September-December '04 entries, you would find that the majority of those entries are mostly WHINY and FULL OF COMPLAINTS about school.

I don't want to complain anymore. It doesn't help ease the stress and the pressure that I'm under.

But, I'll let one slide, HOW CAN I BALANCE MY SOCIAL LIFE and MY STUDIES???

Chocolates = HYPERNESS

I think I've written an entry before about how I go nuts after eating a bar of chocolate or two pieces of choco chip cookie.

I just can't remember when I wrote it. HeH.

Anyway, I'm hyper right now. Hence, an entry being written at 12:30 am in the morning. HAAAYY... Chocolates really make me wonky. I swear, everytime I eat one, I go crazy. I guess the term "sugar high" is true.

So anyway, I chose to write a non-sensible entry about my favorite brands of chocolate. Read on if you must.

HERSHEYS Milk Chocolate -- YUMMY... I go crazy everytime I see my mom stack up on this brand. She always buy this brand in bulk so she could "padala" it to the PI. Of course, I always manage to score a bar or two from her. She always gets mad at me everytime I do it. She always tells me off by saying: "kaya hindi nawawala yang mga pimples mo e!!" or "masisira yang ngipin mo!!". I think it's her mode of preventing me from getting some. But it just doesn't work on me. Sorry, MUM.



TWIX Chocolate -- This is the only caramel chocolate that I would eat. I don't eat any other caramel chocolate except for this one.



KIT KAT -- Remember the line, "Have a break, Have a KITKAT"?



GODIVA Chocolate -- The most expensive, yet delicious brand of chocolate I've ever tasted. I swear, if I had the money to buy this chocolate, I would buy it in bulk! It's that GOOD!



M n Ms - The ultimate "snack" chocolate for me.




What brand of chocolate satisfies your sweet tooth?

Lapit Mga Kaibigan.. At Makinig Kayo..

I haven't found a way to get back my slightly neurotic self yet. However, I have found ways to make myself pose a genuine smile to people.

I have realized what was bothering me. Actually, a stranger made me realize it, my organic chemistry classmate to be exact. Talking to her about our life struggles made me realize how high of standards I pose on myself; how I treated every aspect in my life so seriously. For example, my educational career at the moment, I psyched myself up to do better this quarter. I told myself that I did not want to repeat the conundrum that I experienced last fall quarter. Setting high standards on myself has caused me a few setbacks. I became wayyyy too distracted on "certain" things or should I say on a "certain" person. I didn't know how to handle such distraction, therefore, it caused a serious damage in my brain. I paid so much attention to it that instead of thinking and analyzing my schoolwork, I overanalyzed and thought so much about such distraction.

Fortunately, I have come to my senses, thanks to God, who sent me a message through a person I hardly knew.

I'm currently on the road to self-healing. I still have bad moments, but who doesn't have those? I'm glad that I have friends and family to support me. I'm glad God gave me a family and quite a handful of friends.

And as for my distraction, "he" became an inspiration.

What's New in Neuroticville?

1. I AM NOW A LICENSED DRIVER. WOOOOHOOOO!!!

2. I DECIDED THAT I'M GOING TO MAKE "HIM" AS AN INSPIRATION RATHER THAN A "CATCH" THAT I WANT TO..... CATCH. --- He inspires me so much that I think God gave him to me to inspire me during times of stress and sadness.

3. Last Friday was a very very happy day for me. I passed my drive test, I finally had a breather from the reviewing I did for my courses and my 'catch' just inspired me a lot that day.

HAAAAA... Life.. sometimes you gotta hate it and MANY times you gotta love it.

I am a very inspired woman right now. I hope it doesn't go away.

Have a good week y'all!

it's close, but not that close.

it has been a while since i've written a close to interesting entry in this blog. i must admit that i've been toying around with my previous entries, writing about non-sensible crappas. i haven't been able to get a clear view of what's in my head these past days, which is the main reason for all the non-sensible entries you have read by the way. i'm in the dumps right now and i have no idea why. it must be the stress and the pressure that i'm feeling or maybe it's something else, something else that i don't know.

but however crappy the days have been for me, i have always managed to keep a smile on my face. a smile that can keep me from looking insane in front of people.

i promise, i will write something positive and cheery once i get the inspiration back.

have a good week y'all.

MOMENTS ...

This picture alleviates the stress and the pressure that I'm always under.




It reminds me that it's good to be silly kid sometimes.

That's my niece by the way.

Sometimes . . .

Doing the RIGHT thing can affect your emotions and your thinking in a debilitating way....


..... But the RIGHT thing is always the BEST thing in GOD's eyes.

Questions that seem unanswerable.

Why do people tend to overanalyze simple events or situations that happen in their lives?

Why do people always go for things that are out of their reach?

Why can't people be contented with what they have?

Why are some things in life hard to accept?


This post may be meaningless to you, but the questions it contain means a lot to me.