From 18 to 30: Tying a knot out of a very crucial decade

A week ago, I was watching an episode of Sex and the City entitled, "Anchors Away". It was the episode when they were talking about having 2 great loves in a lifetime and showing that having a baby changes your lifestyle from social to maternal. The episode inspired me to jot down things that I want to do before I get "tied" down. Things that I want to do before I reach the age of 30.

Things that I want to fulfill before I reach the age of 30:

1. Earn a degree in Biochemistry

2. Travel back to Philippines after I graduate college

3. Go island hopping, from Boracay to Mindoro to Palawan, with friends

4. Come back to Seattle

5. Apply to respectable medical schools

6. If I don't get admitted in the medical schools that I've applied to, I will, apply for
a researcher job in the Biotechnology field.

7. Apply to grad school and earn a masters degree in Biochemistry

8. After grad school, I will continue studying until I get my Ph.D. in Biochemistry.

9. If grad school or Ph.D. doesn't prevail, I will self-study or enroll myself in a photography class

10. Pursue freelance photography

11. Create a picture portfolio

12. Contribute an article to a magazine

13. Design my own graphics

14. Travel California, Hawaii, Florida and New York

In the midst of these goals maybe I will find the man God set aside for me and be married to him. Or maybe I will still be single when I reach the age of 30. Who knows? God only knows what. I don't know if I can manage to fulfill all these goals, but one things for sure, the past and the present has given me determination and inspiration to do what I think I want to do. Time can only tell when these goals are going to be fulfilled, but only God can tell which things will be fulfilled before I get "tied" down.

4 ambitions in 1 lifetime: a futuristic view of my Life

I'm a pediatrician/scientist who specializes in oncology/hematology field. I make rounds at the Children's Hospital near UW when I need to and hold clinic hours at UW Clinic. When I have finished all my routines at the hospital and the clinic, I go to Fred Hutchinson Research
Center to oversee what's happening on the research I proposed doing.

Whenever I'm free, I put my photographic skills to test or I write an article for my column in the Seattle Times. I'm about to start working on a novel temporarily entitled, "A Memoir: Getting over one of life's greatest challenges". Above all else that I do, I still find time to shop for myself and cook food for myself and thank God for the energy and the determination that keeps me going.

Outlets – Not just for the happy and sad, but also for the mad.

When you’re pissed or angry at someone or something, its either you confront them or you just lay low from them until the time you know your anger has subsided. But what do you do during the span of your "fury" time? Do you snap at every person you encounter? Do you smash all the things in your bedroom? Or do you go to a bar and drink until you get drunk? These three attempts to release you anger out in the open can only be described in one word, RISKY. I would have to admit that I have done two of the things that I’ve mentioned, but like I said, doing them can be a bit risky. In fact, after you have done any of those attempts to let loose the anger, guilt instantaneously follows.

Learning from experience, I decided to pour out my anger/fury into a much safer way. The last time I was really pissed off was last July of this year. I won’t give any details of the said dramatic event, but I will recount how I released the fury inside me. I wrote. I wrote down what I felt then, I wrote down what the person did that made me so furious. (See the July Blog archive and look at the July 20 entry). I must say that writing about it has done a great job in calming my nerves down.

The way that you could just go on and type endlessly about your repertoire on your computer is a good substitute to a blabbing mouth. Also, you have done a favor to a best friend because you have spared them the agony of hearing "rage against the machine". Writing is just like blabbing, the only difference is that your pen or your hands is the one doing the action, not your mouth.

Here are no-risk "I want to pour out my anger" attempts:

1. Listen to music. Rock, alternative, and hip-hop are the best choices. Nix the slow jams.

2. Surf the net. The Internet is a great place to find humorous things that will help ease your anger.

3. Design a web page. You could use your anger as an inspiration on a page layout and design.

4. Shopping. Not for the "I’m a shopaholic and I have some anger issues" type of person, but seriously, retail therapy is a good way to calm your nerves down.

5. Basketball. Creative visualization: Picture the ball as the person or the thing to which you are mad at.

6. Writing. Do I need to explain this again?

There are a lot of other "outlets" out there. It’s all up to you to choose what suits you best. Just remember that snapping, destroying and getting drunk aren’t really "outlets", they’re just merely attempts to ease the anger for a really short period of time.

Pet Peeves 101

Two Sundays ago, I read an article written by Celine R. Lopez in the Philippine Star's Lifestyle Section entitled, "Where's the beef?" The article was about showing your "inner diva" when instances or situations such as salesladies giving you a snobbish attitude or cellular phones going off during a movie, bothers the heck out of you. The author also listed ten things that tick her off, which gave way to me in writing my own pet peeves.

1) snobbish, apathetic, bitchy salespeople

2) unfulfilled promises. Promises are promises. If you know you can't fulfill a promise, then don’t make a promise at all. Go by the mantra: "promises are NOT meant to be broken".

3) The "Gold" card bank members who get VIP treatments from the bank people. What's up with the discrimination??

4) People who cut in long lines.

5) Sales people who follow you around like rabid dogs while you shop.

6) Restaurants who serve food slow

7) People who take advantage of other people's weaknesses

8) "all-knowing" people

9) Cellular phones that rings/vibrates loudly during class, movie or mass

10)Merchandises that has no price tag

11) People who don't say "excuse me" when they pass across or beside you.

12) Sales people who lack the determination to find out the price of an unmarked merchandise.

--- from Celine Lopez to me to you, how about writing your own pet peeves?

Baguio=Seattle ... Rain ... Rain ... and ... MORE RAIN!

I just got back from a 5 day vacation--within a vacation-- trip in Baguio. Here's the lowdown for all you peeps out there:

the UPSIDE:

UKAY-UKAYs --

My sister warned me to be LIST down the things that I want to buy in Baguio, cause once you enter these shopping places, your mind will go crazy on all the clothes, bags, and accessories that you will see. SISTER KNOWS BEST, i tell you that. Although my brain went bizaare, I was very tamed into not buying the all things that I want.

- sweaters and 2 jackets
I need them cause it will be FALL again in Seattle.

- a native bag and a silver Chinese character from IBAY's
I have to have them, so I caved.

I think I covered most of the 2nd hand stores there-- from Session Road to Maharlika to the market to Mines View to John Hay -- I don't know if I left any out.

Little "food for thought" that I got from this ukay-ukay shopping trip:

Its nice to shop for yourself and for your family and friends during the "rainy" season. Merchants drop the prices of their goods, BIG TIME. My sister was looking at a set of chess pieces at a store in Maharlika that was priced at P1000, she haggled, the merchant dropped the price to P600. Imagine how low that went?? My sister didn't buy the set though. Weird GIRL!

THE downside:

the RAIN -

The weather's a b*tch up there! Seriously, it was raining every freaking day!! I didn't get the chance to see the one tourist spot that I wanted to see in Baguio, which is the Cemetary of Negativism found in Camp John Hay, because it was closed due to the RAIN. GRR!!!

But the rain didn't stop me and my sister AND her KIDS (a 3-year-old and a 4-month-old) in going to the UK-UKs. We braved the rain and we shopped. Hey, we didn't go to Baguio just to get stuck in a hotel for 5 days, you know.

THE VERDICT -

Despite the rain, it was a fun vacation. I got the chance to see what was new in Baguio because it has been a while since the last time I was there.

But I ain't gonna go back there when its the rainy season.

Unexpected things @ unexpected moments.

It’s really weird how things can happen at unexpected moments.

We just heard a news yesterday that my aunt was rushed to the emergency room because she collapsed on a sidewalk near our house while she was walking our dog, Curly. I sent a text message last night to my sister, Leah, asking her what the current condition of our aunt was. She told us that the doctor was doing a complete diagnosis of our aunt to pinpoint the reason of why she collapsed. Ate Leah also told us that the story of what really happened was a mystery since my aunt had no recollection of what had happened to her.

There were a lot of assumptions being thrown in the box. My sister Lee told me that Tita Chi could have experienced a mini stroke since she could not recall what happened to her. I assumed that she was pulled so hard by the dog that she lost control of the leash and of her body.

PMS-ing SUCKS!

I woke up yesterday feeling a bit cranky. I didn’t get a lot of sleep since Mother Nature was waiting for the clock’s hand to point at 2:00 am in the morning. Since I’m sleeping in our living room, my dad’s loud voice, my sister’s incessant singing and our nanny’s squeaky voice saying “KAKAIN NA” easily waked me up at 6:45 AM.

The whole time during breakfast, I was bitching at my sister for no reason at all and in return, she too bitched at me. Talk about being dysfunctional. I don’t know. I guess PMS hit me again yesterday or maybe it’s just one of those days when I feel like I’m not in the mood to be perky.

Jessica Simpson’s Alter Ego -- Ashlee Simpson

I’m currently digging Ashlee Simpson. She’s really different from her sister, except for the “ditzy” part. She sings punk/rock music. I like the way she dresses (did y’all see her ensemble in the Pieces of Me video?) and she is really cute --- ok, I have to quote what Rob Schneider in the movie “The Hot Chick”, I’m so lesbian right now. Anyway, the genre of her music is different from her sister’s; she’s more of a rocker chick who recognizes Blondie as one of her musical inspiration while her sister is more of a sentimental/mushy-mushy type of artist. I know I said before that I didn’t like punk/rock music, but I’ll have to make an exception with her.

I only buy albums when I happen to like more than 3 songs in it. At this moment, I like “Pieces of Me” and “Shadow” in her album. Hmmm… Should I buy her album or no? Should I buy it or no? Should I buy it or no? Any of you nice people listened to it? Do you recommend it? Is it worth my 500 pesos or my $15? So… does anyone recommend it?

giving up 2 floppy disks for the greater good.

Since I am up and about with this whole writing thing, I bought a floppy disk where I could save the articles and the blabs that I write. Unfortunately, I gave the floppy disk to a "person a" since I wrote an article in it that I wanted that person to read. Consequently, without any disk to save my writings to, I suffered two days of writing with my right hand. Then, it dawned upon me that on the day that I bought that floppy disk, I bought a second one for my sister. So I asked my sister if I could have the disk and being the good sisi that she is, she said to me, "sure, it might be a while before I could use it anyway". AHHH. Once again, I was writing away my critical philosophical analyses aka. "thoughts about life" and was saving away on the disk. Then, last Tuesday, my sister wanted me to upgrade their laptop computer from a Windows 95 to a Windows ME version. During the upgrading session, the computer asked to back up all the system files that were installed by the Windows ME version in a disk, just in case the computer crashes down once we reboot it. Once again, I had to give up the disk. WOW. Talk about writings thrown out of the window.

i have to start gathering bilins.

My mom is sending me constant emails, telling me not to forget the "bilins" that she wrote down for me. Hindi pa nagkasya yung letter na binigay nya sakin nung umuwi ako dito, she really had to send emails about it too. HAAAA... Mothers.. you gotta love them. Well, I don't blame her since she knows I have the "Alzheimer's" syndrome.

facing hell all alone.

Last Sunday, I went to church all alone at St. Therese in Los Banos, Laguna. I know it wasn't practical to go that far for church since we have one near our house in Calamba, but that church gives me a sense of peacefulness everytime I enter it, unlike the one near our place.

Before the mass, I was having an intuition that I was going to see somebody I knew at church. Mass started.. communion ended.. mass ended. I didn't see anyone, I thought, "wow, I guess my intuition was wrong". Then, as I was exiting my way out of the church and walking towards the Grove area of LB, I saw two people that I KNOW, two people that I didn't want to see together when I'm all alone. I can't really give any particular details about this two people, but I can give you this: when I saw them, it was like "all hell breaks loose" for me. Isn't that ironic? I went to church and then hell breaks loose on me after church.

INTERESTING.

I didn't want to be seen by them, so I broke away from the church crowd and walked REALLY FAST. HAAAA.. it was a fateful day. My friend told me, "it was just one of your lucky days". I beg to disagree.

I just have to thank God that I wore tennis shoes instead of sandals.

----> So have you guys had any instance when hell broke loose on you??? SHARE! ;)

The Art of Being Very Open

Yesterday will be an addition to the memorable days that I have of this vacation. It was the day that Lin, Lenn, Joy and I got together after 3 long weeks. It was pretty hard to get 3 of anyone of us together, let alone four: since Lin travels from QC and Joy sometimes goes home early on Saturdays leaving Lenn and I alone together. But yesterday was the fortunate day.

Lenn, Lin, and Joy being cute in front of the camera

I enjoyed yesterday because of the following reasons:

1. I had fun listening to LinLin talk about her life in UPD with so much hype and emotion. It's pretty interesting to see how UP life changed her.

all smiles

2. I had fun eating "isaw" with Lenn and Joy. Men! They eat a lot of those intestines. I must give props to both of them for making me eat it, since before I wasn't really up for eating the "laman loob" of chickens and pigs.

what's with the belly showing??

3. I enjoyed the "kuentos" that we did because all of us had new stories to share about what has been going on with our lives.

pede nang pang circus!! hehehehe..

4. I enjoyed being their photographer, albeit me not being in the pictures!! HE.HE.

Writing is beginning to be a part of my life, NOW.

I can’t help but notice that I have a huge thirst for writing these days. I don’t know if it’s the writing bug that did this to me, but I sure can’t help but notice how much of the things that run through my mind are actually things that I want to write down.

It just dawned upon me that I want to write about so many things, such as, the things that are going on in my life these days or the things that I admire or value. On the contrary, writing COULD be a pain in the butt sometimes. Say, for example, you open your text software and a blank white screen pops up in front of you and then BAM! You can’t think of anything to write about. Your mind is a complete blank. You feel like as if you’ve lost the “zest” that helps you to write about anything and everything. I wonder if the greatest writers in the past and present ever experience such loss? I wonder if they experienced the so-called “writer’s block”? I remembered my English 101 instructor, Bonnie, relating to us that there is no such thing as “writer’s block”, but of course, being the stubborn ass girl that I am, I somehow want to disagree with her.

I wished I owned a laptop computer instead of a personal computer. I think now I’m regretting buying the personal computer. Had I known then that I would have this sudden thirst for writing, I would’ve bought a laptop! Again, I’ll have to face the fact that there is a reason for everything that goes on in your life. So, I just have to think that there’s a reason why I bought a PC instead of a laptop computer.

I have to thank the world of blogging for getting me up and about with the whole writing thing. I think reading and writing blogs has helped me to give writing another chance.

Within the next three years:

....I have to have a laptop computer. I just have to have one.
WISHFUL THINKING: a blue colored APPLE laptop computer
REALISTIC THINKING: a DELL 2400 laptop computer

Counting down memory lane..

10 years ago.

/ I was 8 years old.
/ Sadly, I can't remember an event or a memory that I had 10 years ago, must be the anesthetics I got when I had my tooth extracted 2 years ago..

5 years ago.

/ I entered high school life.
/ Jesus Christ was introduced to me as the Lord and Savior of my life; from then on, everything in my life changed for the better.
/ I became a part of a great friendship; one with many memories - me, heids, grace, lin, shiela, and gust.
/ The first time I won something in a contest: 3rd place in the Science and Math Quiz contest. I didn't win that alone, I had Gustine as my partner.
/ First boyfriend. First puppy love.

3 years ago.

/My mother told me that we were moving to Seattle to be with my aunt and my eldest sister. I was really bummed about that since I was enjoying my high school life here already.
/ TRIO was born. Up until today, we're still best friends - Lin and Lenn.
/ Second boyfriend. The serious one. The one that I took for granted.

1 year ago.

/ I was figuring out where my life was.
/ I was still in the process of moving on.
/ I was a volunteer at Northwest Hospital Daycare Centre. Oh! what fun times I had with the kids.

6 months ago.

/ I was frustrated with all the Chemistry equations that I had to learn, specifically frustrated in the art of Chemical Stoichiometry.
/ I celebrated my 18th birthday at Crab Pot with my family.
/ I realized that being angry with someone is not good for your health.
/ The movie, Passion for Christ, lowered my pride and cooled down my anger.
/ I brought back Jesus into my life.

1 month ago.

/ I was hunting for a venue for Lenn's birthday.
/ I was having some quality time with my 2 cute nieces

1 week ago.

/ I did nothing.
/ I was excited for the next day gimik.
/ I started reading The Da Vinci Code. Got hooked on it pretty badly.

Yesterday.

/ My sister gave me a new book to read--Lovely Bones.
/ Once again, I did nothing.

to hipstah and gail.. Thanks for this IDEA!

The Da Vinci Code.

I just finished reading the book yesterday. It was a pretty interesting book. It was mind-boggling and mysterious in some ways. Every chapter of the book gives you a cliff hanger that will keep you from putting it down and not returning to it anymore. Dan Brown described each character, each place and each event using all the parts of the English language. Let me put it this way, as you read through a description, you can picture the person, the place or the event in your head, just like the way he describes it. It's crazy!

This book depicted Jesus Christ as a not-so-perfect person; a person who was said to be "perfect" had a relationship with Mary Magdalene (who was described as a "prostitute" in the book). Somehow, it felt like it was non-fiction because of all the historic people, places, and things that he tackled.

The most eeriest thing he described was the "Hieros Gaimos" (if it ain't the right spelling, tell me), which was a ritual that was done by the Priory of Sion---a secret society, as to what the book says. A ritual which, in layman's term means, sex.

Bamboo rocks.

Their song "Noypi" has a line that says, "Sa dami mong problema/Nakuha mo pang ngumiti/Noypi ka nga/Astig". When I read that line from the lyrics written in their album cover, I remembered my friend, Joy, praising or maybe telling me na "nakukuha ko pang ngumiti kahit na me problema ako at the moment"---this was the time when I had a problem back in Christmas '03.

Before, when I had problems regarding my life, I looked like a theatre mask (you know that mask that you see in front of play invitations?? Those two masks?? One smiling and one crying??), anyway to be a bit more CLEARER, I was doning a poker face, on the outside I was all smiles; on the inside I was either mad or crying. Up until now, I still don the poker face. I don't know, I guess that helps me in a way, because I hate being dramatic all the time. I sometimes hate to talk about dramatic stuff also. I cringe everytime I see people in telenovelas acting like someone's going to die with their cries and whinings (but I still watch those damn telenovelas, pretty weird huh?).

Only a month left.

Wow, days fly by so fast and before I know it, its "buhbye PI, see you in 3 or 4 or 5 years". Well, I can't go down memory lane yet, since this vacation isn't officially over. I still have the Baguio trip that my sister's family and I are going to do next week. I still have 4 birthday people to greet and celebrate their birthdays with and I still have some serious shopping to do (for the bilins that my mom told me). OK. Gotta get my groove on or else..

Midnight Rendezvous.

This is really not the normal me, but everytime the clock gets closer to 12 am, I feel hunger pangs. I constantly stand up from the couch near the tv and search for food in the fridge. REAL FOOD, I might add, not junk food. After this blogging, I will go heat up some kaldereta that my sister cooked this lunch.

i caved.

OK, I know I said that I was going to change the face of this blog when I get back home. But I can't help it! I'm too bored today with nothing to do, except to just take care of my nieces. So, I caved. I had to fight my way through the rain today just to get a 9 hour internet card for this blog face changing event.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK

monday -

i went to karlenn's college to meet her, but when I got there I found out that she was not in our meeting place. but, i saw my other friends and i just hanged out with them until time told me that my pal ain't gonna come there.

then, i went to a shopping center for some retail therapy, bought the Bamboo CD and a sleeveless blouse.

tuesday -

stuck in the house with no place to go. i just took care of my nieces and just played around.

wednesday -

my sister, therese and i went to see Catwoman. For me, it is not a must-see movie. UNMATCHED SOUNDS FOR THE FIGHT SCENES, POOR STORY PLOT, INTRODUCTION TO THE MAIN VILLAIN WAS WEAK. although, it wasn't up to my movie standards, halle berry sure played the part well. if any of you watched it, did y'all love the "WALK"?

thursday -

my friend, joy, went to our house for some little chitchatting with me. therese really had much fun with her, telling her, "tita joy, sleep with me" or "tita joy, read a book".

friday -

home sweet home. slept, read the Da Vinci Code, played with my nieces.

saturday -

gimik time. played billiards and went to paw's place for the "drinking sessions", chitchats and playing around.

sunday -

church and ... GUESS WHAT I DID TODAY...

MY LAMINATED LIST: Part 2

Freddie Prinze Jr.

- Yes, I know his married, but I can't help but like his smile.

Vin Diesel

- His body makes me melt.

Orlando Bloom

- Is he Irish? or British? I don't know, but what I do know is that he has a beautiful face.

Shane West

- Did y'all watch A WALK TO REMEMBER? If you watched that movie, you will know why he's on my list.

Hugh Jackman

- 6 pack ABS baby!! AND! AND! He plays Wolverine, my favorite X-MEN character!

side note: make your own laminated list! :D

party pics

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/share/view?i=EeAOXLFw5aNGzlY&open=1&sm=0&sl=0


Here's the link to the pictures of the party that we had last Saturday. It was Karlenn's early birthday celebration and my very late birthday celebration. CIAO!

Reality Bites Me Up in my Ass. AGAIN.

I can't wait to go back to Seattle. I must admit that I miss everything there. My mom, my sister, my aunt, my cousins, Curly, my friends, the heat of "summer sunshine", the MALLS, studying, my room, my computer. OK, let's just say I miss EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong here; I'm enjoying my vacation here in the PI. I enjoy being with my sister and her family and of course, I enjoy being with my friends. But, just recently, I realized that my life is very much "complex" here -- I don't know if "complex" is an exaggerated description, but I think that it's the right word to use in this kind of issue/situation.

So how complex is it? First and foremost, the complexities regarding my family here. Somehow, being the paranoid person that I am, I feel like a burden to my sister and her husband. I don't know why. You see, they have 2 kids that they have to attend to and then there's the house that our family owns and there's their farm that they are currently taking care of. Then, there's the whole issue of my brother-in-law moving from one region of the country to another because of his job and that automatically affects my sister and their kids. See why I feel like I'm an "extra" baggage? Imagine what more could I feel if I was living here for real. I now understand why my mom doesn't want me to go to college here.

Another complexity is my life HERE. I realized that if I did still lived here, I think that I will be living in the past. I don't want to get any more descriptive than that, but yeah, I think that if I did still lived here, I will dwell in the memories of the past and not think about MOVING ON.

It's not that I don't like to live here anymore. It's just that I realized what my life will be like here if I was still living here at the moment. COMPLICATED. PATHETIC.

I love my sister, i love my friends. But FOR NOW, I think my life belongs to Seattle.

I now know the answers to the questions that I had 2 years ago.

obsessive-compulsive

There's an OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) in all of us...
 
Do you guys agree with me? I know for a fact that I have it in me, even just a tad of it. Here's an example:
 
When I moved to Seattle, I have had thoughts of doing some writings. Back then, I thought of it as one of my "outlets", the one where I could easily burn out all the frustrations I had with myself and my family.
 
I did do some writings, mostly writings about moods and feelings that I had when I first moved there. I didn't do "real" writings.
 
Junior year in HS - 

This was the time I was introduced to the lovely world of writing. I learned how to write based on reflections and experiences. This was the time I started to write essays, poems, reviews and speeches. 

Senior year in HS -  

This was the time I took two writing classes, one was called "Creative Writing" class and the other was "Essay Fundamentals" class. 
 
The first few assignments of the Creative Writing class was a drag for me. WHY? Let's just say that writing vignettes (a writing slang for "short stories") wasn't my thing. But the very last assignment for that class was a thrill for me. We were assigned to do a final project of whichever category of creative writing --- either a collection of poems, a 5-page vignette, or a monologue. I chose to do a collection of poems and when I saw the grade given to me for that project, I felt like I finished that class without any traces of regrets.
 
On the other hand, the Essay Fundamentals class was all about essays (hence, the name for it). My instructor, who happens to be the same instructor I had for my Creative Writing class, taught the class with no intimidation. She taught us to write based on experiences. She taught us how to give "light" to our writings. She even taught us words that we didn't know existed. For this class, we had to write 6 essays, each having its own theme. My favorite theme was the "persuasive" essay theme, where the concept is just picking a controversial topic to which you have your own opinion about, i.e. "Gay marriage" and putting your opinion about it on paper along with researched supports and oppositions. 
 
I did mine on "coffee". I said that coffee was bad for your health. Yep, being a coffee lover that I am, I turned myself into a hypocrite just for that essay. But, my hypocrisy paid off, because I got a good grade for the essay! :) 
 

So, what's my whole point about giving you a history about my writing experiences? Honestly, I don't know what my point is, I just wanted to give you guys a history on how I learned to love writing.
 
How does this all fit to the whole OCD thing? Well, recently, I'm having some thoughts of writing a book. I've been having these thoughts for a long time now and it is just killing me that I cannot put them into action. I already have a theme/topic in mind, now all I need to do is just cram up in one peaceful and quiet place and begin to write an outline. BUT I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING, I'M JUST SITTING HERE, IN FRONT OF MY BROTHER-IN-LAW'S LAPTOP, TYPING AWAY MY FRUSTRATING THOUGHTS. I think I am going to be like this even until the time I go back to Seattle. FRUSTRATED. OBSESSED. FRUSTRATED.
 
Do you guys see where the OCD thing comes into play here? If not, well.. at least I gave an effort in showing it.
 
Another OCD... 
 
I just finished watching an episode of Sex and the City and I can't help but notice that Sarah Jessica Parker's character, Carrie, is a bit obsessive. It was the episode where she encountered an ex-girlfriend of Aidan (her ex-fiance), who made a "face" at her. The face that says "ohhh this is the girl who breaks the hearts of many men". She became even more obsessed about the "face" comment, when she read her book review, which says, "gives credits to women, makes men look disposable" (I cannot remember the exact words, so forgive me for paraphrasing). I don't really know how to explain the whole point of the episode, but if you guys have watched that particular episode you'll know what I'm saying about her being obsessive.       

Side Notes: I watched the South Border band @ UPLB yesterday. I'll upload pictures soon. The front man with the bonnet is so CUTE!

mean stuff.

I gotta tell you, sales people can be really rude sometimes. I went to this wholesale market center (called SIOLAND) and WOW! Can the ladies be any bitchier?? Well, I guess I can get pass that since it's really hot inside that store, but HELLO??? It's not an excuse for treating your customers like crap.

Moving on..

I finally got to watch Mean Girls (starring Lindsay Lohan) today. After waiting for weeks for it to show in local theatres, I finally got to watch it TODAY. It was a pretty good movie. It tackles the world of highschool drama and its relative. It's also a movie where you can get some pointers on how to "sneakily" fight your enemy, i.e., make her think that Kolteen bars can make you lose weight, when it actually makes you gain weight or you could just bluntly try to destroy her image to people.

 

 

"it's just one of those days"

I quoted the title of this blog entry from a Limp Bizkit song, unfortunately, I forgot the title of that song.
 
Anyway, this day has been a really pain in the ass for me. My blog face is messed up. I don't have enough patience to customize it. I didn't go to church for I had to take care of my two nieces. I, once again got caught up in a moment where my heart and my brain are fighting, AGAIN.
 
Yep, it was a really "gloomy" day. I wanted to get out of the house, but I couldn't cause I was given a task to do. The whole day I felt like I had to carry a chain strapped around my neck. A chain that I couldn't get out of.
 
In short, this was a shitty day for me.
 
By the way, tomorrow is my best friend's birthday. I think tomorrow I might stop by at their college to greet her and to maybe tell her about the shit I went through today. 
 
Damn, this is really pathetic. I guess this is what happens when you get hurt.  

the heart vs the brain

What do you do when your brain says something and your heart refutes it? Don't you just love it when those two bicker?? You tend to get confuse. BIG TIME. You tend to commit suicide (not physically speaking, but mentally). You tend to say words that you don't understand yourself that your friend has to decode it for you.
 
BRAIN is the one who knows what your body is going through. HEART is the one that keeps you alive. BRAIN thinks logically and intellectually. HEART thinks emotionally and spiritually.
 
Sometimes I can't take it when issues such as "getting hurt over and over again" arise from, oh can I say, all of us? When you get hurt by someone or something, your BRAIN tells you that "you don't deserve getting hurt by someone like that" or "that someone or something is not worth it". But your HEART tells you "forgive the person who hurt you" or "stay friends with that person" or "don't cut your friendship ties with that person since you guys have been friends for quite some time".
 
See the difference? See how you can get confuse by all the mutterings of your head and your chest?
 
For just one day, I wish that both of these "organs" could just be partners when it comes to matters of our lives. It would really make a difference when both of them could agree. I know it would make me SANE for one day.

side problems

TECHNOLOGY-

I'm currently having some problems with my sidebar. At first, I thought it's a problem with the template that I was using, so I changed it. Same problem occurred. What's going on HTML these days??

WAAHHH.

This is the reason why I don't like playing with HTML. It screws up your brain a lot.

LIFE -

I am currently needing a boost of wisdom and understanding. With the remaining month that I have of this vacation, I feel like I need to finish an "unfinished business". The only problem is that I don't know what business is that, however,  if I did know what it is,  I have no clue on how to fix it. Strange issue, HUH? Ever since I started this vacation there was this feeling of wanting to accomplish something, so that when I go back to Washington, I could lead a much clearer and meaningful life than what I had before.  Ambiguities, ambiguities. Life couldn't get anymore clearer than this.

 

Love Song

by 311
lyrics from letssingit.com

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

-- I always tend to show a soft side when a good slow jam/love song plays on the radio or on MTV. This song is from the soundtrack of 50 First Dates (starring Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler). It's a pretty cool song and it has a "kilig" factor in it.

mga ka-cheap-an nga naman

Grabe pala mga tao ngayon 'no, yung mga galit sayo, di man lang i-confront sa muka mo. Dinadaan pa sa mga sulat sulat. Ano naman kayang klaseng confrontation yun?? SULAT??? What the FUCK?? (*sorry for the improper language) Ang cheap ng confrontation na yun. GRABE. Mas gugustuhin ko pang sabihin sa harapan ko, kesa sa sulat. Siguro di ko na lang patulan yun, kasi baka bumaba pa ko sa level nya e. Ang baduy naman nun. Pero in fairness naman sa kanya, napeste nya talga ko ng todohan. AS IN! Wag na sana syang magpakita. Mga judgmental nga naman na tao o. (PARANG ako hindi judgmental e no??)  
  
ANG SULAT:

"i love you?lam ko galit ka?lam ko asar ka?lam ko ayaw mo sakin?lam ko?lam ko nga pinapakita mo kasi eh?tinataboy mo ko?i love you?wer no longer friends?sayo?ndi nmn talga eh?grabe?ngayon sure ako, mapapasaya rin kita,kasi wer no longer friends?now dat your happy!!!!!????sana lalo ka pang sumaya???!!!tnx at nakausap kita at nakita...kahit u treated me lyk shiiiit!!!!!!!!lahat ng sinabi ko syo nga pala was just oneof my barber shop story... para manlangmabawasan ang pagtaboy mo sakin...pero it didnt work...kaya...good luck nalang sa lahat,and i hope, wala ka ng mameet na katulad ko...!kawawa naman sila..."

 
BOOHOO. W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R.
 
sure i can be a bitch. but i only bitch at people because some of them deserves it. 
 
word of advice to all of us:
 
never ever judge a person, lalo na pag bago nyo pa lang sya nakikilala.

and

pag galit kayo sa isang tao, tell it to their face! confront them about it! kakupalan kasi pag tinatago pa e.

 

Tuesdays with Morrie

I'm currently reading a book that's entitled Tuesdays with Morrie. It was written by Mitch Albom, who is a writer for the Detroit Free Press. It's an interesting book very much like the Purpose Driven Life book; the only difference is that this book has a story line in it.

These are some of the dialogues that Morrie -- one of the main character of the book:

----- "Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted even when you know you should never take anything for granted." 
                                                                                           ----- "Love wins. Love always wins"

----- "The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."

----- "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

----- "Love is the only rational act"

----- "Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if we ever are going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too, even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling."

I think we could all relate to these dialogues at some point in our lives. 

 

Take Care y'all.

feeling a bit restless

I'm feeling restless again today. Do you guys know the feeling of a fast beating heart? Your hands shaking just like an epileptic person. Yep, that is what I feel right at this very moment. I have no idea why. OH! I forgot something, I feel butterflies in my stomach!! ARGGHHH. I hate this feeling, it is so not soothing to the brain and the heart. HEHEHEHE.

"retail therapy"

I just got back from a 2-day vacation at Quezon City. We slept at my brother-in-law's sister's house and WOW!! can it get any louder than our house here in Laguna. Seriously, I cannot take the sounds of 3 kids shouting, whining and crying. Or maybe I'm just exaggerating. 
 
Anyway, eventhough I experienced so much uproar from that house for two days,  I had a great time spending THOSE 2 days shopping at Glorietta, Greenhills, the Outlet Yard in QC, and Dapitan Arcade.  It was like heaven for me! He.He. My sister bought the Puma bowling bag at Greenhills, which I really wanted ever since I saw one that was owned by my cousin's sister-in-law. My sister and I experienced a downside about that bag. It was freakin' hard to look for it!!! There were a lot of bags similar to it but I didn't like a Pucca cartoon or a Paul Frank cartoon label on it. I wanted the Puma label. Thank God I didn't give up on finding that bag. Or else I would've ended up with a "number 7" label bowling bag. Whew! 
 
Another downside that I experienced during the 2 day shopping spree was finding a Marithe Francois Girbaud wallet at Greenhills that was way more cheaper than the one that I bought from the Girbaud store at Glorietta mall. I was so bummed about that. But it's cool, at least I got an authentic one.
 
Ahh.. The joys of shopping.  

three things you should know about me

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. liane
2. lianetot
3. all words related to "CAT"
 
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I don't get angry easily
2. I'm a good friend (I think.. )
3. I'm a good daughter (I think.. )
 
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. no self control
2. expects a lot
3. overexaggerates/overthinks/overanalyzes things
 
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. life
2. the concept of moving on
3. Mendelian Genetics
 
THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. being stuck in traffic
2. words I cannot understand
3. people who bitch at me when I'm angry
 
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. God
2. bees
3. hell
 
THREE THINGS U NEED EVERYDAY:
1. God
2. food
3. my family and friends
 
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BRANDS:
1. Bench
2. Forever21
3. LEI
 
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITES SONGS @ THE MOMENT:
1. happy ending by avril lavigne
2. pieces of me by ashlee simpson
3. let's get retarded by the black eyed peas
 
THREE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. me myself and i
2. family
3. my friends
 
THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO
1. control
2. expect less
3. control
 
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. TV
2. internet
3. foodtrip
 
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. clean out my room
2. a laptop computer
3. the party on Saturday
 
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. medicine
2. biotech scientist
3. fashion photographer/photojournalist
 
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Europe
2. California
3. Boracay 
  
 

changing faces

BLOGSITE -

I'm on the verge of changing the face of this site. I checked out blogskins.com the other day and found out that there are a lot of new skins available for the bloggers of the world to use.

How I wish I could change the look of this site now, but I can't because I don't have a stable computer with me.

It's so sad this blog is lacking pictures. I guess my current pictures will just have to wait till September.

I miss my PC. I miss my late night rendezvous with it.

For now, I'm just gonna stick with this face.

PERSONAL WEBSITE -

I haven't updated my site yet. Come to think of it the only link updated in that site is this blog. What else should I post/publish there? It's hard to think of non-verbose issues/topics to put in there since I will be using HTML and you HTML people out there know how hard it is to edit codes. Well, I've got 2 months more to think. Any suggestions out there?

MY ROOM -

I think the "neat and organized" bug have stung me in the head. I've been thinking about re-arranging my room in Seattle when I come back from this vacation. You know, making it more organized and more functional. I mapped out a plan on a yellow pad paper of what I have to buy and what I have to do in order to make that room more simple to live in. I wish I was using my computer in that room so I could post a picture of what my room looks like right now. OH WELL.

(Wow, seriously, I AM missing my "simple life" in Seattle, is this a good thing or a bad thing? NO IDEA.)

mood icon

Joelle.. if you're reading this, I got the mood thingie from you!! SALAMAT!! ;)

so-called "expectations"

Expectations. I don't exactly know the meaning of the word "expectation", but I'll define it in my own terms, "to expect something from a promise, a word, a play, a dance, a contest and the whole nine yards".

When I was a bit younger, I had a lot of expectations from myself, my parents and my friends. I was the girl who believes in the principle of "once you promise something to me, I expect you to fulfill and/or do it, because if you don't I'll make sure to rub it in your face for as long as I can remember it". Yep, I was a bit uber-freakish when it comes to promises. But I have learned that being an uber-freak can do some great damage. What kind of damage? Hmm.. Let's see.. well there's me being really pissed off at the person who made a promise and there's me lying down on my bed, moping and thinking about why, how and what could I have done to make this person fulfill this "promise" to me.

It hurts me a lot when my own expectations are not met. I guess it runs in the family since my mom is the number 1 expectant in the family. Now, I'm trying to be more on the less expecting side. It's much more relaxing and it's not a heavy burden to carry. But I have to admit that I still expect. I still get hurt. I wish that this kind of attitude that I have goes away, cause it's killing me to overthink and overexaggerate about some stuff that I don't need to overthink about at all.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines expectation as "1a. The act of expecting. b. Eager anticipation: eyes shining with expectation. 2. The state of being expected. 3a. Something expected: a result that did not live up to expectations". I got that from Bartleby.com.

CIAO!

Forever 21

I just finished checking out the Forever 21 site. DAMN! They've got good stuff going on this season!! Nice Blouses, cute skirts!! arggghhh.. oh well.. On the bright side, I get to go to Greenhills next week!! WOOHOOO!!!

a "passion for fashion"

Last night I was reading the current issue of Preview magazine that has the headline of (I think..) "10 most fashionable women". I was reading the article and it sort of inspired me to write down some fashion "foods for thought".

Here are by far the Top 10 Lessons I learned from trying to be a "fashion model":

1. Never wear rubber shoes and/or tennis shoes with slightly flared jeans.

2. Never wear a skimpy top with a skirt at church, sport it if your going on gimiks or parties.

3. Accessorize your outfit.

4. Have confidence in what your wearing.

5. Have your own personal style, have no fear about what other people would think about it.

6. Shop alone, if shopping with friends or relatives, bring the ones who will give you fashion advice, and I mean FASHION ADVICE alone.

7. "Wear something fancy with something casual"

8. Invest on classics. (I know this advice has been on every fashion magazines)

9. Buy what you really (10x) like.

10. Dress to impress yourself.

Some Q and A regarding my "passion for fashion":

Favorite Stores: Department Stores (i.e. Bon-Macy's, Nordstroms, SM), A & E, Abercrombie and Fitch, Rave, Forever 21, Genevieve Gozum, YRYS, Bench, Pacsun, LEE

Meccas: Department Stores, Greenhills, Liliw (shoes)

Clothing Weakness: shirts and blouses, shoes

Fashion Icon: Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman (haute coutures), Carrie Bradshaw

Fashion faux pas: wearing rubber shoes with slightly flared jeans

Fave Get-up: Hot weather - basic tee, jeans, and sandals - tank top, capris, sandals
Cold Weather - layered look with jeans and sneaks or rubber shoes - sweatshirt and jeans

Clothing must-have: a good pair of jeans

Accessory must-have: necklace and/or choker

Some food for thought regarding Life, Music, and Photography:

Photography - sepia and black n white tones
Photography - children :: dogs :: flowers :: depth of field :: candids (b n w)
Photography - photos of friends and families, life and music
Photography - trying to figure out if I have a talent in this field or not
Photography - figuring out what my style and my theme is.

Music - live, acoustic, slow rock alternative, upbeat RnB, slow jams, shaky rap tunes

Life - musings, woes, sentiments; family;love;friends;God
Life - science, Biochemistry, genetics, Human Genome Project, PhD-MD, Pediatrics specializing in Oncology-Hematology, Cancer
Life - Coffee Shop, pastries, partners, gallery of photos, portfolio of photos
Life - Biotechnology in Seattle, Chemistry in UP
Life - witnessing and sharing the word of God
Life - web design and html codes
Life - personalize your style
Life - Sex and the City; cute, sophisticated cartoon women

Life - being able to convince myself that I could move on
Life - being able to salvage a "lost" friendship
Life - being able to accept God's will for me
Life - being able to understand my parents' protectiveness
Life - being confused about whether or not my parents trust my judgment or not

Last words ...

"moving on is like fashion, the less your attention to it, the more it creeps up to you."

hmmm...

A few sentimental woes..

I miss Curly. I guess I just miss a playmate with me. I miss my room!! HAHAHA.. I can't believe this, I actually miss my life in Seattle. I guess that's how it goes once you've live in a place for 2 years. You tend to miss it already. Anyway, it's all good, I don't think I would want to experience the HEAT there right now. But I'm also sad about what happened up north. God bless their souls.

I saw this from a friend's blog

How to make a liane

Ingredients: 5 parts competetiveness 3 parts ambition 3 parts ego

Method: Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Serve with a slice of lovability and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

saw this from JOELLE's blog..

2 Lights and 1 Vodka Ice and a whole lot of redness..

Last Friday my brother-in-law and I went for a night out of the house. We played pool at this billiard place that is close to our house. We drank two couples of beer, the "LIGHT" ones, and boy after that second beer, I was really feeling dizzy. After we played billiards, we went to this gas station where people who races for speed hang out and wait until midnight to cruise through a national highway. We drank our third beer and men, did dizziness came on pretty quickly on me.

Now I know how it feels like to be "tipsy"... I did some stupid stuff that night, but thank GOD it wasn't over the top stupid!!

So the next day after that "gimik" night, I got redness all over me. My sister noticed it and told me that I might be allergic to beer or something. That really alarmed me cause the last time I remembered I had an allergic reaction I almost didn't see anything. So I was a bit "makulit" to my friends, because I kept asking them if my face was red, if my ears were red, if my eyes are swollen. In short, na-praning ako.. I ask a couple of my guy friends if the redness normally occurs after the first time drinking you drink more than one beer. One of them said, "yes it does," so I need not to worry. But of course, being the worry wart that I am, I still feel a little bit "praning" about the whole redness situation.

I looked at my back today and it seemed pretty ok to me. But right now I'm having a problem with my feet cause it kinda itches and it's red all over.

Wow, talk about having a major consequence. Hopefully this whole redness thing is just one of those things that happens after the first time.

CIAO!

Feeling a bit under the weather..

As you guys know, I'm in PI right now.. I'm starting to enjoy my vacation.. I have my familia with me, my friends are there.. Then, all of a sudden i felt a bit under the weather.. I saw *him today.. somehow, my heart skipped and I started to have butterflies in my stomach and my hands and my body became "manas" (Filipino term, for shaking) I don't know kung bakit.. Siguro, ilang lang ako.. After all it's been two years ago.. and I haven't seen him since then.. Sabi nga ng friend ko, "mawawala din yan liane". I sure hope that it will...

*forgive the subtle comments here.. I'm just protecting identities.. Hopefully I did a good job doing it..

surbey tungkol sa mga lalake..

ala lang.. hehehe.. para lang me mailagay ako dito..

what can you say 'bout these kinds of guys???

..lalakeng umiiyak?
- it only means that they're human too..

..lalakeng seloso?
- k lang, wag lang sobra..

..lalakeng mahilig sa sex bomb girls?
- meron bang lalakeng hindi mahilig sa kanila?? aus lang un!

..lalakeng nde marunong mag luto?
- 100 pogi points sakin 'to.. cause my dad cooks too, so i like a guy who can cook a mean steak or flavored lobster.. whichever..

..lalakeng pala tanong?
- kung me sense ba naman yung mga tinatanong e..

..lalakeng mamas boy?
- it only means na he will respect the girl that he will love or he loves..

..lalakeng puro pangako?
- waaahhhh.... i'm not big on people making promises and not fulfilling them, kasi pag nagpromise sakin dapat i-fulfill, kungdi gegerahin ko..

..lalakeng mayabang?
- kung nasa lugar at kung meron ba namang pagyayabang e..

..lalakeng sinungaling?
- leche.. bastusan na 'to!!

..lalakeng nde mahilig mag salita?
- waaahhh... we're gonna bore each other out..

..lalakeng makulit?
- ok lang.. makulit din ako e.. hehehehe.. except nga lang kapag galit..

..lalakeng gwapo?
- tinatanong pa ba yan??? points yan sakin!!

..lalakeng panget?
- ok ang ugali... call ako dun!

..lalakeng palabiro?
- pag nasa lugar..

..lalakeng bastos?
- turn off sakin to..

..lalakeng masyadong marespeto?
- sure!!

..lalakeng mahilig mang asar?
- ok lang.. basta ba hindi sya nanakit ng feelings e.. hehehe..

..lalakeng sobrang sweet?!
- ahhh.. ok lang.. hehehe.. basta wag masyado.. baka langamin sya.. hehehe

..lalakeng sensitive?
- ok lang.. basta nasa lugar.. tsaka hindi sensitive to the point na nagiging narrow minded and shallow..

..lalakeng matagal mag bihis?
- one word... METEROSEXUAL..

..lalakeng possessive?
- nope.. don't like.. trip ko yung independent!

..lalakeng panget tumawa?
- hahaha.. ok lang 'no!! at least me pagtatawanan ako at maasar..

..lalakeng alang kwenta?
- huh?? pede ba yun??

..lalakeng walang kwentang kausap pero pogi?
- hahahaha... wala lang.. don't like.. pogi nga, ala namang sense..

..lalakeng hindi marunong kumanta?
- don't care...

OUR LIVES by THE CALLING

lyrics from letssingit.com

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Of a better life
In this world
Divided by fear
We've gotta believe that
There's a reason we're here
Yeah, there's a reason we're here

CHORUS:
'Cause these are the days worth livin'
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

See the truth all around
Our faith can be broken
And our hands can be bound
But open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
With nothing to stop us
Is it not worth the risk?
Yeah, is it not worth the risk?

'Cause these are the days worth livin'
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
'Cause these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

We can't go on
Thinking it's wrong
To speak our minds
I've gotta let out what's inside

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Can we get it right?
Yeah, well can we get it right?

'Cause these are the days worth livin'
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
These are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

(fade to end)

Travelling to an island that consists of 7,100 islands

It's been a while since I travelled outside the state. The last time I travelled was back in Spring of 2003, when I went to California to attend the funeral of a late uncle. It was the time when I travelled alone with a roller bag. It was a time when travelling was as easy as 1-2-3, since I have an e-ticket and it was only a travel outside of this state.

Tomorrow, I'll be travelling outside of this state, again, and outside of this country. I will be travelling back home to the Philippines to visit my siblings and my friends. It's been a while since I've done international travelling. Almost 2 years ago as far as I can recall. It's a very stressful thing to travel internationally because I'll be bringing two big-ass luggages, I'll be thinking about the "reminders" that will be told by my mom and my dad and my sister and my aunt, I'll be thinking about the whole route map of the Vancouver International Airport, since I didn't have any "transit" experiences via that airport, I'll be lugging around a box of 2 dozen Krispy Kreme Doughnuts for my bro-in-law since those doughnuts can get smooshed through security checks and heavy "carry-on" bags that will be placed on the cabin bin, I'll have to expect that I will have to deal with snobby airport staff, since that was what happened to me the last time I went home. OH BOY, the next 2 and a half days will be interesting. Thankfully, I'll be travelling with a friend (JJ --> ey girl, are you reading this??), at least I get to share some of the stressful travel experiences.

But I guess the cons of travelling will be outweighed by the fact that I'll be seeing my siblings and my friends. It's been a while since the last time I saw them, so it's actually pretty exciting to see them.

So what will be my agenda for this vacation?

--> Of course, the main reason why I'm going back home is because I will help my sister take care of her daughters.

--> Finish some unfinished business (can't really elaborate on this one, so bear with moi)

--> Shop. Eat. Sleep. Play. AHHH.. life will be good.. HOPEFULLY.

--> Chill with my friends, although I won't be seeing them everyday since they have school, I'll have to make it a point that I will hang out with them one day a week or maybe two.


So if you nice visitors are wondering if I will be updating this blog during my time there, I certainly will. That is if I have the money and the time to go to a computer shop.

im out...

You've Got Mail

You've Got Mail. It's the words that you hear when you open an AOL account. It's the words that a person can rely onto when they are expecting emails from people they love or people they know.

There's a movie about this 3 words. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan starred in it. It's a romantic comedy about two people exchanging mutual emails and messenger conversations over, you guessed it, the INTERNET. I love this movie. It's actually one of my favorite movies, since it gives a whole new meaning to the word L-O-V-E. I must admit that they portrayed the L-O-V-E part in a fantasy manner, but wouldn't it be a nice and sweet story to tell your grandkids that you met your husband in the cyberworld? That you have gotten to know the person through emails and IM conversations??

I know it would be hard since Internet these days are full of psychos, creeps and maniacs and it would also be impossible to really know who the REAL person is. But what if, what if you find a person who God has chosen for you to be with in the internet?

Wow.. I'm getting all mushy-gushy again. Forgive me. I just watched the movie again today and it somehow made me feel what's it like to grow in love again. By the way, did this post made any sense at all? Drop me a note if it did, if it did'nt, well, let's just say I wasn't really thinking well enough about the words that I'm suppose to put in in this POST.

CIAO!

The beginning of TODAY

The beginning of TODAY -  CHAOS in my HEAD

-I named this picture "CHAOS" because obviously it's a mess and figuratively speaking, it's what I felt today.

I have a bone to pick on myself. You see, today is the start of my finals. Today, I have a final in Chemistry scheduled at 8:00 AM. Guess what time I arrived to take it? 8:30 AM!!

Wanna hear the story behind that??? Want to?? Well, you guys have no choice, cause I'm gonna tell it anyway whether you guys want it or not.. HEHE..

Last night, I was studying for my Chem final until, oh say, about 12:00 AM. Then, I decided to stop and surf the net for at least 30 minutes. Well, those 30 mins of break time became 3 hours. The result? I slept at 3:00 AM, the alarm was set to 5:45 AM. Alarm went off at 5:45 AM and it didn't go off after that. So, obviously, I slept over until oh, let say about 8:15 AM. Hence, me being late for my Chem Final. Nice start for today huh?

Thank God, my teacher was lenient time-wise, cause he gave me an extra 30 mins beyond the stop time, which is 10 AM, or else I would have made a lot of booboos on that test.

So, what's the consequence of me not sleeping until 3:00 AM??

1) Waking up at 8:15 AM
2) Arrived late for my Chem final scheduled @ 8:00 AM
3) Not being able to eat breakfast
4) Feeling bad for the way I treated my Dad, who by the way took me to school today.
5) Well, just me feeling bad for what I did.

It was a hard lesson to learn. Damn, I almost cried my eyes out before going to school. I'm thankful though that God gave me that extra time, which I didn't deserve at all, but I'm still thankful for it.

Ok, now I learned a lesson the hard way. How can you learn a lesson the "easy way" anyway?? Now, after I write this, I'm going to eat breakfast, then study for my Math Final. Oh, and yeah, I better make sure that I don't go online until 8:00 PM!! 'Nuff SAID!

Lesson Learned: Never sleep late on the eve of your Finals, or else...

Wilted Being

wilted being 

I took this picture today, just 10 minutes ago. I was feeling a little bit under the weather so I took my camera out and took some shots of the wilting daisies in my aunt's backyard.

Here are the SPECS:

1/20 - Shutter Speed
F4.8 - Aperture Setting
No light metering
ISO 400
Macro shot
Edited in Microsoft Basic Picture IT.

Seriously if I get tired of studying Math and Sciences, I'll go and pursue a course related to Photography.

Reviewing Old Things and New Things

On with the old things ..

You guys (those who are constantly reading this blog, thanks by the way.. *kisses* and *hugs* to u) know that I have finals this week and I'm on to reviewing the lessons that we have learned this whole quarter. For Chemistry, I have to study six chapters and for Math, I have to study 3 Chapters. I already started to organize my Chemistry stuff: all the notes, the learning objectives, previous tests, previous quizzes and homeworks. The only thing I have to do now is start reviewing the old stuff.

On with the new things ..

I found out about a new site today. I saw the link at Gail's blog. The site is called "That's Awfully Personal", I checked it out at school today, I just basically scanned through it so I didn't really get the whole idea of it. I'm just gonna go and check back after my Math final.

And another new thing..

Why do I always eat my own words??? Seriously, it's becoming a pattern with me lately and it's creeping me out. If I continue doing this, I'll be known as the girl who doesn't live by her own principles nor morals. This sucks.

Anyway, I'm gonna go and try concentrate on my studying now.. CIAO!

Taking a Break

Here I am again. I'm just taking a break from my chemistry paper that I've been doing since 2 pm. I'm doing a review on the infamous compound named after Jean Nicot- Nicotine that is. So why did I choose to review Nicotine? Well, this compound and I go way back in my high school years. I don't want to expand on that since I'm trying to be a good girl na. Just to make things clear with everyone, I don't smoke, in fact, I despise smoking. I just have some pretty intimate experiences with it. 'Nuff said.

Photography-Biochemistry-Biotechnology-PreMed

Fastweb.com sent me an email today concerning a new scholarship, a BOWLING scholarship, that might interest me. I looked at the specs and just by looking at it I know that I can't apply for it since they're looking for a bowler who has an average of 175 points. I laughed when I saw that average score since I can't even get my score upto 90 much more to 175 points!!

Anyway just before I entered the scholarship website, I saw this ad print about AI (Art Institute), asking me if I wanted to know more information about their Photography program. Sadly, I can't give any information about me to them since they're asking "when I'm going to apply for a school year at their school", so I just moved on to the real scholarship page.

Dayymmm.. I'm still not sure if Biochemistry is the major that I want to pursue. Although the sciences concepts can be a bit of a challeng to learn sometimes, it can also be interesting at times. I also like laboratory sessions. What I don't like about the major is that I still have to take 3 quarters of Calculus. MORE MATH!!! I don't know how math comes into play in this major. I know that in Biology you need some sort of background in statistics, since MENDELIAN Genetics has some probability issues going on in it. I don't know. Maybe I should stop complaining and just go with the flow huh? I chose this major so I have to either accept the fact that it has Math or I could just shift to a major that requires no Calculus at all.

OK, moving on. I'm suppose to study today and tomorrow. Since it's finals week next week. I only have two finals to worry about, so that's a bit comforting to know. Sort of. Anyway I'll end this know before I bore you guys out with more of my rantings.

CIAO!

photojournal not working...

My photo page is not working the way I expected it to be. Some images won't show up in a bigger resolution if you click on it. GRRRR.. Now I have to upload pictures again on another website. It takes a lot of time to do that since I have lots of pictures and my PC is sometimes slow. Oh well..

On to good news..

I got a good grade on my final midterm exam for Chemistry!!! Wooohoo!! All that cramming paid off, well, sort of. I'm so happy though, now I'm pumped to review for the final exam!! HE. HE.

Guys, meet Curly, my 8 months old dog and my brother. OK. The word "brother" might creep people out, but that's how I look at him since I don't really have a little brother or a little sister. He's a Cheasepeake (if that's the right way to spell it) Bay Retriever and he loves to play catch/retrieve (hence, the operative word "Retriever" in his name) and he's naughty, well all dogs can be naughty sometimes, right?

Anyway he's being trained right now to be more sociable, since when he's around dogs he can get very antsy and very aggressive towards them.

Moving on to another topic. If you guys read my random rants in my website, I said there that I didn't like to write at all. Well, I'm sorta having a change of heart/mind about the whole "I don't like writing" matter. I'm starting to dig writing. Maybe the reason that I don't like writing that much is because I don't write a whole lot of times and sometimes when I do write, I don't know what to write about or something relative to that idea. I definitely should start to learn how to like writing or else I won't survive college world or worse, the 'work' world.

d-COUNTDOWN

hmmm.. how many days till next week is over?? lemme see...

Friday - 1
Saturday - 2
Sunday -3
Monday - 4
Tuesday - 5
Wednesday - 6
Thursday - 7
Friday - 8
Saturday - 9
Sunday - 10
Monday - 11
Tuesday - 12

12 more days babyyy!!!!!!!!! heck yeahhh!!! So what's the plan of action for the next 12 days???

First Five DAYS --- >> STUDYY.. STUDYYY.. STUDYYY.. AND MORE STUDYING.. GOD I HOPE I DO STUDY, CAUSE AS YOU ALL KNOW.. I'M A SLACKER/FRESHMAN/LAZY/PROCRASTINATOR

5 days before D-DAY --->>>> I will prep?? maybe??? go to the mall with my cousin or my sister, get a haircut.. go back to the dentist for some sealants (which reminds me, I have to go call for an appointment), watch TROY, take care of my dog/boyfriend (WEIRD!!!I should blame my aunt for this..), CLEAN OUT MY ROOM, walk/run the INTERURBAN TRAIL and hmm.. yeah.. wala na.. hehehehe..

Thank God I'm only gonna have 2 finals next week.. whew!! Chem and Math lang.. thank God I have nothing for Biology.. kungdi.. I'm dead after next week.. hehehehe..

That stupid dentist appoinment is definitely going to kill time for me.. I have a lot to do today and I can't do it ahead of time because of that dentist appoinment!!! GRRRRRRRR!!!!