I've been selfish for the past 3 months. I've been out and about. My social life has turned me into ways that I didn't even imagine. I partied until the wee hours of the morning. Stayed up late just to talk to friends. Pretty much do things that normal teens and early 20s people do. I've been sucked into that hole where I didn't think straight. I didn't think what the people who are close to my life think about what i'm doing.
Now, I think I'm paying for it. My mom suddenly became not-to-strict, but close to being strict on me. She wants me to go home early now. Whenever I ask permission from her to go out, I always get that look, that as if I'm going to do something bad.
It's an ugly feeling. Funny part is, I don't know which feeling is ugly.
Guess that's how life is sometimes. When you do too much, you end up paying for it by having someone or something make you not do much.
So I guess it's time for me to self sacrifice. Sacrifice the things that I THINK would make me happy for the things that other people will be happy with. Well, I'll sacrifice SOME things. But not ALL things.
I'm feeling a little in between right now. I don't really know where to position myself into.
GOD, HELP ME.
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2 comments:
Liane...I do hope you find your own way out of the hole...its quite an experience when one goes through the decadence of youth...we all somehow go through such a stage...what quite clear is that this will all come to pass...the realizations that we will get out of it will see us through life...hopefully you should be careful not to get a lot of those those emotional wounds though we may not be able to avoid getting some...its a part of growing old I guess...even though we know or we have been informed of the dangers of experiencing such things by our friends and parents...nothing beats the experience and personal realization we get from it...as we go through it...one things for sure...we will all be laughing at ourselves one day in the future when we will think about it..til then...life will always be like that...
Everyone goes through something like this in during their teens or early 20s. Think for yourself and do the right thing! Don't do anything foolish that you will regret in future.
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